UPDATE 9/14–I’M NOT SURE WHY THIS ENTRY DOUBLE POSTED, BUT SINCE WE’VE REPLIES TO BOTH, I’M NOT SURE THAT WE CAN CONSOLIDATE THEM. SO FOR SANITY’S SAKE, PLEASE POST YOUR RESPONSES TO THIS ONE AND IGNORE THE ONE BELOW. IF GLENN CAN WORK HIS MAGIC TO PUT THEM TOGETHER, I’M SURE HE WILL. (Further update: Glenn has locked the comments thread on the other one while he tries to figure out how to migrate them here. Glenn will aslo stop talking about himself in third person any minute now. –GH)
I channel surfed past a clip of Jeff Foxworthy at around the same time I was trying to think of what I’d do for my next “But I Digress.”
And I put the two together.
You know his whole “You might be a redneck..” thing? Like, “If your parents met at a family reunion, you might be a redneck.” Well, Skrulls have green necks, which is close. So here’s the challenge: In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy, come up with those little hints that might make you come to the realization that you might well be a Skrull. If I get enough of them, I’ll make a column out of it.
PAD
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If you think that you have the sexiest chin in the universe…. you might be a Skrull.
If you attack an entire race of beings because you’re mad at a completely different race of unrelated beings…. you might be a Skrull.
If you’re outraged over being omitted as a character in the TV show “Andromeda” … you might be a Skrull.
If you’ve ever placed a wager on ANY contest between a Kree and a Cotati… you might be a Skrull.
If you’ve ever surfed the Annihilation Wave… you might be a Skrull.
If you refuse to claim Tony Stark as one of your own… you might be a Skrull.
If you think that John Byrne wrote better storylines for the “Incredible Hulk” comic book than Peter David… you might be a Skrull!
-Mike D.
P.S. – Thank you to the family and friends of Peter David for all your contributions over the years!
If the words, “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner” makes you break out in a sweat, you just might be a Skrull.
If you sniff and stab at your salad to make sure you aren’t eating a bowl of your acne scabs, you might be a Skrull.
If you told the judge you stabbed your husband in the face because you thought you were cutting a green pepper, you might be married to a Skrull.
If your efforts to “chin up” do not go over as planned, you just might be a Skrull.
You might be a Skrull:
If your father looks like a cow and your mom looks like a tree.
You might just be a Skrull:
If being green with envy is the rule rather than the exception.
You might just be a Skrull:
If St. Patricks day is the one holiday where you can truly be yourself without fear of making those around you run screaming into the night.
You might just be a Skrull:
If the people around you think you are having an allergic reaction to something 24/7.
You might just be a Skrull:
People ask you how long you have had Acromegaly.
You know you’re a Skrull if you jump in the sack with Johnny Storm
If you ever looked at Odo and said “Wannabe…”
If you think that the Durlans lack ambition….
You might just be a Skrull:
If your green blood and pointed ears made you consider being an understudy for Star Trek’s Mr Spock.