You Might be a Skrull

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

I channel surfed past a clip of Jeff Foxworthy at around the same time I was trying to think of what I’d do for my next “But I Digress.”

And I put the two together.

You know his whole “You might be a redneck..” thing? Like, “If your parents met at a family reunion, you might be a redneck.” Well, Skrulls have green necks, which is close. So here’s the challenge: In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy, come up with those little hints that might make you come to the realization that you might well be a Skrull. If I get enough of them, I’ll make a column out of it.

PAD

14 comments on “You Might be a Skrull”

  1. If you happen to have a starship in your garage, you might well be a Skrull.

    If your pointed ears keep popping through your baseball cap at games, you might well be a Skrull.

    If you happen to look green with envy, and you’re not feeling particularly envious, you might well be a Skrull.

    If your entire wardrobe favors dark purple, you might well be a Skrull.

    If you never seem to be out of shape, you might well be a Skrull.

  2. If you have extra chins but they’re vertical rather than horizontal, you might be a Skrull.

    If you were once a cow (literally), you might be a Skrull.

    If you think Yoda is hot, you might be a Skrull.

  3. If you keep knicking the ridges while shaving your chin, you might be a skrull.

    If you keep invading earth just for the hëll of it, you might be a skrull.

    If you go from a hot chick named Candy to a bald greaser named Tubbs in the blink of an eye, you might be a skrull.

    If your definition of “super” is the ability to kick someone in the nuts with a rubber-rocky flaming invisible leg, you might be a skrull.

  5. If you’ve ever accidentally changed your hair color by sneezing…you might be a green neck.

    If you’ve ever said “Don’t I know you?” to your own reflection…you might be a green neck.

  6. If you have won best costume at Halloween parties for the last 50 years, You might be a Skrull

    If you think Lactose intolerance is a religion, you might be a Skrull.

    If you think drinking milk is a form of cannibalism, you might be a Skrull

    If you cry watching those shows about the crash at Roswell, you might be a Skrull

  7. If you are used as a convinent scrape goat by a major comic book company to end an ill-conceived major storyline, you might be a Skrull.

  9. If you’ve ever asked “Does this species make me look fat?”…you might be a green neck.

    If the phrase “Just be yourself” makes you stop and think…you might be a green neck.

    If a case of the hiccups has ever increased the size of your breasts…you might be a green neck.

  10. If you’re a Martian crimefighter who recently developed vertical ridges in your chin, Dan Didio thinks you might be a Skrull.

  11. If you’re name is George W. Bush, you might be a Skrull.

    If you once went out with Johnny Storm, you might be a Skrull.

    If you’re green, you might be a Skrull…or She-Hulk or the Hulk or..

    If you like the name Skrull, you just might be a Skrull.

    If you’re best pals with Spiderman, you just might be a Skrull or Mary Jane or Aunt May…heck, those two could be Skrulls for all I know….(maybe thats what JMS has in mind!! )

    If you love these you might be a Skrull jokes, you just might be a Skrull.

    DF2506
    ” And I could go on and on and on…lol. hehe.”

  12. If your dandruff shampoo boasts, “now with scale remover,” you might be a Skrull.

    If you spend a lot of time thinking about how nice it would be to be a cow, you might be a Skrull.

    If you walk into your living room and see Reed Richards talking to your parents about regular testing, you might be a Skrull.

    If you own a copy of every Star Trek episode where Kirk hooks up with a green chick, you might be a Skrull.

    By the way, the Bendis Boards are doing something similar: http://www.606studios.com/bendisboard/showthread.php?t=126569

  13. If you thought Bruce Banner was a rank amateur until he went from grey to green, etc.

    If you have to wonder why the She-Hulk won’t return your calls after you posted on-line that your favorite FF was the one where she was in the skin mag, you get the idea.

    If you SITLL can’t get over feeling pissy that the US Mint adding new colors to money, yeah, okay.

    If you think Kermit is a friggin’ whiner, need I go there?

    If you want to feed every Mogwai you meet after midnight because it’s a better look for them…

  14. If the women on your planet are hotter-looking than the men, chances are better than average you might be a skrull.

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