When Republican Senator Jon Kyl asserted that ninety percent of Planned Parenthood’s activities centered around abortion, rather than the more accurate three percent, his office asserted that his statement was “not intended to be a factual statement.” My question is: How did they say that with a straight face? Did they really think that would justify such outrageous distortions to any but the most devoted, blindered right wing excuse-nik?

If Obama’s people claimed that the President had said something that was “not intended to be a factual statement,” it would define his presidency the way that, “It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” defined Clinton’s.

Last I checked, something not intended to be a factual statement is typically referred to as a “lie.” This does, however, serve as a convenient excuse for any horndog who’s willing to say whatever it takes to nail a girl. “You said you loved me!” “Yes, but that was not intended to be a factual statement.”

PAD

We went to see the extremely limited run of “Company” at Lincoln Center this afternoon. Talk about your once-in-a-lifetime casts: Neil Patrick Harris, Stephen Colbert, Jon Cryer, Anika Noni Rose, and Patti LuPone (showing that she can still stop a show when she belted out “Here’s to the Ladies Who Lunch.”) Considering the minimal amount of time they must have had to rehearse, they did a superb job with it. A Sondheim show that has truly aged well.

Also, speaking of aging well, funny story: We ate at a restaurant called P.J. Rourke’s and among various decorations on the wall, they had a photograph taken in what looked like the days of old radio, and it looked to be of an incredibly young Fyvush Finkel, a legend of Jewish theater not to mention such programs as “Picket Fences” and “Boston Public.” But no one in the restaurant knew if it was him. So who did we run into coming out of Lincoln Center, departing the same performance of “Company” as we had just seen? Fyvush Finkel, who verified that it was indeed a picture of him. In case you’re wondering, he liked the show.

Scientists in the Czech Republic believe that they have discovered a gay caveman.

Supposedly, unlike other cavemen, he likes Geico because he believes the company’s name is actually Guy Co.

PAD

The International Association of Media Tie-in Writers is proud to announce the 2011 Scribe Award nominees for excellence in licensed tie-in writing — novels based on TV shows, movies, and games – and this year’s Grandmaster, honoring career achievement in the field.

This year’s Grandmaster is Peter David, who has worked in television, film, books (fiction, non-fiction and audio), short stories, and comic books. He’s the acclaimed author of over seventy novels, many of them New York Times bestsellers. His extraordinarily prolific output of consistently excellent books includes two dozen original Star Trek novels, three Babylon 5 novels and novelizations of such major motion pictures as Spider-Man, Iron Man, Fantastic Four, and The Hulk.

David is also one of the most successful and acclaimed comic book scripters in the business with popular runs on such titles as Supergirl, Star Trek, Wolverine and, in particular, his work on The Incredible Hulk franchise (in comics as well as books). His many awards include the prestigious Will Eisner Comic Industry Award. He lives in New York with his wife Kathleen and their four children.

So apparently Khalid Sheikh Mohammed the self-professed mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, will not be tried in civilian court but instead be handed over the military.

Since he’s a radical, allow me to put forth a radical idea. Stop arguing about where to try him. Just bring him to Ground Zero and release him. A single police car which drives up, drops him off and drives away. And be sure to publicize well in advance exactly when he will be released. Exact time and day. Put it on the front page of the Daily News, the Post, and the Times.

I’m pretty sure justice will be served in short order.

PAD