Okay, we’re done with the fashions. Moving on to the main event. This will be pretty much the ol’ Cowboy speaking, unless otherwise indicated. We continue below the cut line.
Personally, I think that Jon Stewart will mention the settled strike within the first thirty seconds of his time.
And away we go.
8:31: nice opening montage. I wish I had recorded it so I could freeze frame. Amazing how many of them were SF and fantasy. Then again about ninety percent of the top fifty box office films of all time were SF or fantasy.
8:33: sixteen seconds. Score.
8:34: Stewart’s definitely on. “Does this town need a hug?” “Thank God for teen pregnancy.” Beautiful.
8:36: Okay, now I *have* to see “Atonement.” The raw passion of Yom Kippur? I am so there.
8:39: Great, my stripper name is Mickey Albert.
8:40: “Normally when you have a black man or a woman president, a meteor is about to strike the statue of Liberty.” Personally, I’m going to get a “Vote for Gaydolf Titler” t-shirt made up.
8:42: Costume design: Ariel and Kath are pulling for Sweeney Todd. Kath suspects Elizabeth will win.
8:43: Yup. Opulence usually wins costume design.
8:45: Well, you don’t normally tune into the Oscars for the commercials, but that Diet Coke commercial was actually pretty funny.
RE: Comments. Yes, it was sixteen seconds. I was timing it.
8:48: “But one thing has always been consistent: Its long.” Something tells me that was an ad lib by Clooney. Very honest.
8:49: Okay, I hate to admit it, but I’m a sucker for montages, and this is a good one. But, geez, how’d they miss Sally Field.
8:51: That’s right, Carrell and Hathaway are costarring in “Get Smart.” Can’t wait.
8:52: Animated feature. We’re rooting for Ratatouille, although Persepolis is supposed to be beautiful.
8:54: Ariel’s disappointed. No animated rats came up to accept. It’d be cool if Brad Bird spoke with Edna’s voice.
8:56: Make-up. Ariel is rooting for “Pirates.”
8:57: Ariel’s reaction: “That blows.”
8:58: That woman’s left eyelash appears to be coming off. Weird.
9:00: Amy Adams is going to be busy tonight. they should really be doing more with the presentation of this song than her just standing there. The lyrics remain gloriously demented.
The best song from “Enchanted” was “How Do You know?” and that’s the one we’re definitely rooting for. My only concern is that, since three songs from the film are nominated, they could wind up splitting the vote and another slides in.
COMMENTS: No, Amy Adams was not lip synching. She even sounded a touch nervous, and yes, her voice cracked here and there. A lip synched performance would have sounded much cleaner.
9:07: The Rock presenting visual FX. Since he is a walking visual effect, it’s a good choice. Ariel is again rooting for Pirates.
9:08: Well, Ariel now says she thought Golden Compass was better. Me, i fell asleep during it so I’ll take her word for it.
9:10: Art direction. We’re rooting for Sweeney Todd.
9:11: Yea. Interesting that they played “The Ballad of Sweeney Todd,” which wasn’t actually sung in the movie, a point of major contention and annoyance to purists.
9:13: Cate Blanchett: What a dog. (A comment that will make no sense to anyone not watching.)
9:15: High point of Cuba Gooding’s career, winning best supporting. I wonder if he would have been so enthused if he’d been looking toward his future roles. Sheesh.
9:15: “Best supporting” could be referring to the front of Jennifer Hudson’s dress…
9:17: Be great if Holbrook won, just for sentimental value. Probably won’t.
9:18: Javier Bardem. No surprise there. Me, I love the line “I am Shiva, Goddess of death.” I think I’ll have a button made up that says that. I can wear it attached to my “Gaydolf Titler” shirt.
9:23: “Oscar’s Salute to Binoculars and Periscopes.” I sense the fine hand of the Daily Show staff on this one.
9:26: One of the songs that could benefit from the multiple nominations for “Enchanted.” The singers are excellent, though, especially that little girl from the movie.
9:28: Owen Wilson. A talented actor, and I can only hope that he’s gotten the help he clearly needed. Short films: Saw none of them. Does anyone ever?
9:30: Screw the one that won, I want to see that Tonto Woman thing.
9:31: God, Jerry, the dámņëd film’s out of the theater. STOP PLUGGING IT!!!!
9:32: Wow. That Madame Tutli Putli looks amazing.
9:33: Great. Now I’ll have that blasted “Peter and the Wolf” tune by Prokofiev in my head for the rest of the night.
9:34: MERcidees McCambridge? I always thought it was MerSAYdees McCambridge.
9:35: We’re rooting for Tilda Swinton, just because we like saying the name “Tilda Swinton.” I’m thinking it will be Blanchett to make up for her not winning Best actress (which she won’t), if for no other reason.
9:37: Yea! I guess lots of people like saying “Tilda Swinton.”
9:39: Okay, now I’m dying to meet Tilda Swinton’s agent, who I bet REALLY likes saying “Tilda Swinton.”
9:44: And now, here are the awards to the people who are so important, so ingenious, and so brilliant, that we didn’t want to waste your time presenting them here.
9:45: Okay, bloggers, fess up: Who put up the Gaydolf Titler t-shirt on Cafepress?
9:47: Interesting that in quoting “the best lines ever written” for adapted material, they cited “you’re gonna need a bigger boat” which was, from what I understand, an ad lib by Scheider.
9:48: Let’s go Coen bros.
9:48: Bingo.
9:49: “Hello there, everybody.” “Hi, Doctor Nick!”
9:50: “this time of year, we don’t have to pay for films; the studios want us to see their films.” Okay, here’s a flash: The rest of the year they have screening so they don’t have to pay, and the studios ALWAYS want you to see their films, ya yutz.
9:52: Okay, there was some cute stuff in there, I’ll admit it.
9:53: Here we go: The Enchanted song I’m rooting for. This one they’ll do up right. But Amy Adams should be singing it.
9:55: Nice height on that jump.
9:56: Okay, okay: you can see the quality difference. I love Amy Adams, but you can see the higher level of performance from an experienced Broadway headline like Chenowith moving through a number like that.
COMMENT: True enough, Roger. Chenoweth is indeed one of the best: Bernadette Peters level. I wonder if they gave Amy Adams her choice of songs. If so, she made the right choice since it was a solo piece.
10:01: Who the hëll…?
10:02: God, please, make it stop…
10:03 Sound editing? Transformers. That thing was wall to wall sound.
10:03; Winner was “Bourne Ultimatum.” Yeah, well, big deal: They didn’t have to deal with cars turning into something else during their car chases.
10:05: Okay, if these guys come out a third time, I’m going to gnaw like leg off at the knee.
10:06: Sound mixing now? Okay…probably Bourne.
10:07: Gee, that was tough to see coming considering what won just before.
10:08: My God, are they presenting best actress already? So let’s see Sally Field.
10:09: Aw, c’mon: “You like me!” That’s classic. Okay, anyway: Ariel is rooting for Ellen Page; Kath says smart money is Blanchett, although it’s tough to get an Oscar for great acting in a lousy film.
10:11: I’m wondering if it might not be Julie Christie, back after such a long time.
10:13: Zut alors. That’s a surprise. Winning for a non-English-language role is VERY tough. Although I haven’t seen it; perhaps she speaks English during it.
10:17: Wiiiiiiiiii!
10:18: I was looking down and out of the corner of my eye it looked like Colin was roller skating. Apparently there’s something slippery on the stage.
10:20: Well, THIS song is putting me to sleep…
COMMENT: I appreciate the assertion t that I’m better and faster at this than Harry Knowles. On the other hand, he has close to a thousand replies on his, so…
10:23: Boy, that’s weird. I could swear Nicholson’s hair was grayer at the beginning of the broadcast. Hunh.
10:24: A best picture montage? What the hëll? It’s not like they’re giving away the Best picture Oscar now…?
10:25: Now me, i want to see a montage of some of the films that DIDN’T get “Best Picture.”
10:26: As “Entertainment weekly” (I believe it was) noted, often it doesn’t come down to what was the actual Best Picture, but which picture had the best Oscar campaign.
10:27: Don’t walk awaaayy, renee….
10:28: Film editing: This can sometimes be an indicator for best film.
10:29: And sometimes not…
10:31: Check out the fake accent on Nicole Kidman.
10:32: Oh. Crap. That’s actually how she talks, huh?
10:32: It’s always interesting when they put together an explanation as to what the technical jobs actually mean when it comes to films. The best such that I ever saw was one for film editing in which they ran about fifteen seconds of the famous pursuit-of-the-train from “French connection,” and the they ran it a second time with a counter in the lower right ticking off the number of edits in just that brief time. And it was something like forty seven edits.
10:36: Okay, in case you’re wondering, this is Robert F. Boyle, born 1909, with a long and illustrious history in art direction. Last work was back in 1979.
10:38: Wait, I take it back. Production design work as recently as 1991.
COMMENTS: Yes, we checked IMDB, and no, in case you guys are wondering, there wasn’t really an “untitled Nicole Kidman film” for 2010. Jon Stewart made a joke. Fancy that. And will someone please slap Luigi awake?
10:42: Did someone else have a feathery dress just like Penelope Cruz before, or is this thing starting to make me punchy?
10:43: The Counterfeiters was the odds on favorite for best foreign film.
10:45: And here’s the third song from the film. It’s a nice ballad song but I have the least attachment to it.
10:48: Boy, HIS voice is cracking.
10:49: Okay…best song goes to…
10:50: Great. The one that was putting me to sleep. Figures.
10:51: You think THIS is mad? Not as mad as the people at Disney are gonna be. That’s what happens when you have three songs from the same bloody film.
10:57: VERY classy move by stewart.
10:58: Cinematography. Another potential indicator of best film.
11:00: Okay, we’ll see if “There Will Be Blood” wins for Best Picture.
11:02: Respectful blog silence for the departed.
11:05: I can’t help but observe that a number of the departed, if they won Oscars, would not be allowed to appear on the main telecast, because the jobs they do aren’t sexy enough. It is only upon their passing that they get to have their faces seen on the Oscar cast. There’s something fundamentally screwy about that.
11:08: I feel like I’m watching “Name that Tune.”
11:09: Kath thinks Michael Clayton for best score.
11:10: Guess not. I was thinking maybe it would be “3:10 to Yuma.” Then again, I tend to have a strong sense of Yuma.
11:11: How marvelously inclusive: our folks serving in Baghdad announcing short subject. Of course, there’s some irony in that considering Iraq is in fact unending rather than short, but…
11:15: I’m going to try and check out this film when it shows up on HBO. You have to love the passion that these two women obviously have for it.
11:15: Best documentary. This should be interesting. Moore was snarking Bush back before it was stylish to do so. But he did it on the Academy awards and a lot of people still resent that.
11:17: Yup.
11:18: Oooo, nicely put, about the country moving away from the dark side. And I love that his late father was a navy interrogator who was furious over current questioning techniques.
11:23: Does Harrison Ford seem a little…off…somehow?
11:24: We’re pulling for Juno here.
11:25: Bingo.
11:26: Love the tat. Exotic dancer, huh? Never have guessed.
11:30: Best actor coming up.
11:31: We’re rooting for Johnny Depp; smart money says Daniel Day Lewis.
11:34: The most notable Viggo scene is the one they dare not show.
11:34: There Will Be Oscar. And Helen Mirren knights him with it! Who’s queen?
11:36: “And to the other fine nominees in this category, I wish to say: I drink your milkshake!”
COMMENT: What did Stewart do that was classy? One of the creators from “Once” was given the bum’s rush, and Stewart brought her back out and let her give her comments without being interrupted.
11:40: The run up to Best Director.
11:42: Thank God Stewart didn’t try to make a joke about Scorsese.
11:42: Naturally we’re rooting for Jason Reitman. Likely winner: Anderson.
11:43: Son of a gun. The Coen Bros.
11:43: So this would seem to narrow the field of Best Picture to “There Will Be Blood” and “No Country For Old Men.”
11:45: Best picture. I guess it’s good the montage was earlier; by this point it’s Get On With It!
11:46: So much for the cinematography pointer. “No Country For Old Men.” Then again, the best director pointer tends to trump the cinematography pointer.
11:48: And the award for best live blog coverage goes to…
Yeah. Figures. Well, maybe next year.
Great job by Stewart, I thought. I actually enjoyed it. Then again, it may be that writing this blog helped keep me focused since this is the most awake I’ve ever been during the Academy Awards.
The Mission Impossible theme. Perfect.
• 
Auto dealership? Who the hëll wrote THAT joke? It certainly doesn’t sound like Stewart or his staff.
Geez, Ford sounds stiff in reading off the t-prompter.
When did Betty Rubble get an Elfquest tattoo?
So what is it that makes former Minnapolis strippers (Kate Worley and Diablo Cody) so much better writers than other former exotic dancers?
Yes, Harrison Ford seems off. He seemed that way during the Barbara Walters interview, too.
BTW PAD Sense of Yuma? GROAAAAAAAAN
Luigi, if you think Harrison Ford was stiff, how about Cameron Diaz trying to spit out ‘cinematography?’ Isn’t this, like, the way they make a living?
Yeah, but Joe, it’s Cameron Diaz. Look at her. Stop thinking.
Yeah, and they get to do take after take when they mess up. I don’t see how this is the same thing. Being stiff and stumbling verbally are not the same thing.
Missed part and catching up on comments. What did Stewart do at 10:57 that was “VERY classy”??
Thanks.
I wish I could read lips, just I could ‘hear’ what Helen Mirren was saying to Daniel Day Lewis as they left the stage together.
Well It was a toss-up between Daniel and George…the best man won of course. 🙂
He felt that one of the winners for (IIRC) Best Song didn’t get to talk, so he brought her back out so she could give her acceptance speech, rather than do more comedy.
Guess it would’ve been in poor taste for Daniel to say to the other actors nominated “I drink your milkshake!”?
Wow, insta-response. Thanks, Peter.
I did actually see that part. Just didn’t have my time stamps matching up enuf to realize it was what you were referring to.
Thanks, again.
Okay, here’s a question for the rest of the class. Not that I have anything against the Coen Brothers, but isn’t there some kind of DGA rule that precludes co-directors on a film? The reason I’m asking is I seem to recall Robert Rodriguez withdrawing from the DGA because he wasn’t able to credit Frank Miller as co-director. Maybe you have to be brothers? Maybe I just need some sleep. Unlike Luigi, who seems to have caught up on his while the Oscars were still on.
Is the Kate Worley mentioned the same one who wrote comics some time back? Having never seen a pic of her (and not being able to see the telecast due to being at work anyway) I’m curious.
What Stewart did that was (comparatively) classy was to not act like an áššhølë. For some reason, based on previous ceremonies, that’s quite an achievement.
I don’t believe this Best pic and it’s not even 12:00 yet!
No Country for Old Men will win, I think.
Yup.
Is it my non-digital, non-HD TV, or is Denzel Washington looking a bit chunky tonight?
Back to the subject of lip syncing: I don’t think they did, but I see everybody’s lips looking to be out of sync. I would imagine that it is the 7 or 10 second delay in the broadcast.
Joe Nazarro: isn’t there some kind of DGA rule that precludes co-directors on a film? The reason I’m asking is I seem to recall Robert Rodriguez withdrawing from the DGA because he wasn’t able to credit Frank Miller as co-director. Maybe you have to be brothers?
Luigi Novi: Maybe. The Wachowski brothers and the Hughes brothers are part of the DGA, aren’t they?
I think the ending did in There Will Be Blood.
I thought Stewart’s move was classy for the exact thing you described: “One of the creators from “Once” was given the bum’s rush, and Stewart brought her back out and let her give her comments without being interrupted.” Great move there, because nobody EVER lets the winners back on after they get the bum’s rush to finish what they were saying.
Thank you to Peter, this was fun!
I vaguely recall the pertinent point is that Frank Miller wasn’t a member of the DGA at that point.
Actually, I believe the problem was that Frank Miller is not a member of the DGA, and that was why he couldn’t be listed as co-director, hence Mr. Rodgriguez withdrew so as to share the credit.
Yes, I was referring to the late Kate Worley, scriptwriter of Reed Waller’s OMAHA series and also Disney Comics’ ROGER RABBIT comic. Like Diablo Cody, Kate was a former Minneapolis exotic dancer who was also an exceptional scriptwriter (though in comics, not films). And again, why are Minnapolis strippers so much better writers than other strippers. (Even Gypsy Rose Lee’s THE G-STRING MURDERS was reportedly ghostwritten by Craig Rice, so she doesn’t count.)
Peter David: Great job by Stewart, I thought. I actually enjoyed it.
Luigi Novi: Ditto. It actually seemed to go pretty briskly, though again, it may be that focusing on the blog helped the perception of it flying by.
Thanks for doing this Peter. I agree with Brian. It was fun. 🙂
Basically, I think Stewart had to go tell the producer to stop–send a runner, get her back from backstage, get her from the press interviews, tell the director that he’s NOT going to do his next bit and spike the set up for the bit he was going to do next.
Classy and not entirely trivial to do, particularly on a live show that’s on a tight schedule (no matter how long the show runs, a live telecast is ALWAYS on a tight schedule).
Yeah, live oscar blogging rules. Next year we all get to bark about which one is going to win best VFX or makeup – Indiana Jones, Iron Man, or Batman.
Fun times!
Joe,
I think the Rodriguez situation was that he wanted a co-directing credit for Frank Miller, but it wasn’t allowed by the rules.
“Rules? Rules? We don’t need no stinking rules!”
Jeffrey S. Frawley said:
“What Stewart did that was (comparatively) classy was to not act like an áššhølë. For some reason, based on previous ceremonies, that’s quite an achievement.”
—
Way to look at it from the most negative viewpoint.
Thanks for the filling-in Anthony.
I knew very little about Kate Worley, except that I enjoyed her writing immensely. That piece of information explains why Omaha had such a realistic feel to it, despite being a ‘funny animal’ book.
“Gaydolf Titler” just might be the worst joke ever told.
Nothing against Jon Stewart by any means, but everyone here seems certain that he made and enforced the decision to bring that woman back out, which does not strike me as necessarily true.
True…at the very least, the director had to check off on it.
By the same token, Stewart still probably had to check off on it, as he had SOME material ready for the slot (and from prior telecasts, the host is working with writers DURING the show to develop material, particularly for coming back from commercial breaks…).
I love the Internet. I’d much rather read amusing comments by you, about the show, than actually sit through it. If I want to review the best jokes, they’ll be uploaded somewhere in a matter of hours.
I also know you’ll have at least one, terrible, terrible pun that my friends will repeat at some later date.
Comment #1: Marion Cotillard’s win: MAGNIFIQUE! La Vie en Rose was an absolutely marvelous film, and Mlle Cotillard brought Edith Piaf to life. The film does jump around a bit in Piaf’s life, but it’s not too bothersome. (I was so taken by the story that I bought a collection of Piaf’s music. The soundtrack had a bit more non-Piaf material than I wanted.)
Comment #2: Regarding the Best Song winner, I’m rather disappointed that the Academy actually allowed the song’s nomination. Yes, it was written for the film (one of the key qualifications) but it was officially released on an album in 2006 by Glen Hansard, some 9 months before the film’s US opening. The album, The Swell Season, includes 4 songs that appeared in Once, including “Falling Slowly”. Under Oscar rules for Best Song eligibility:
4. The work must be recorded for use in the film prior to any other usage, including public performance or exploitation through any media whatsoever.
Admittedly, the recording of the album may have coincided with shooting the film (and I believe that I did read somewhere that Hansard had been approached to write and record just a couple of songs for the film but became inspired to do a separate album) but the timing is just too close for comfort. (Also, I’m more than a bit peeved that the Academy chose to “honor” THREE songs from Enchanted while completely ignoring Eddie Vedder’s original songs for Into the Wild–the fact that the film’s lead, Emile Hirsch, was also ignored by the Academy is more than a bit upsetting. But I digress……..)
On the plus side, it’s good to get back to the site after a few problems encountered during the “maintenance” period.
Posted by: Anthony Tollin
(Even Gypsy Rose Lee’s THE G-STRING MURDERS was reportedly ghostwritten by Craig Rice, so she doesn’t count.)
It was definitely ghostwritten. Since the 80s, there’s been some doubt as to whether it was Rice who actually wrote it. (She *did* ghostwrite a book for George Sanders, and, when they asked Sanders what “author’s dedication” to put on it, he said “Hëll, she wrote it, let her do that too” and the book wound up being dedicated to Craig Rice “Without whom it woulkd not have been possible” or words to that effect.)
Posted by: roger Tang
True…at the very least, the director had to check off on it.
But every so often the person out there on stage, in front of the cameras where the director can’t get at him, get contrary.
As at the Country Music Awards a few years back, when George Jones (considered pretty much an obsolete has-been by the Industry) was up for Best Song, and they told him that he could do like one verse of his song as part of a medley. He declined.
So on comes Alan Jackson and his band to do his song – and he called Jones up on stage and they did *his* song, instead…
I think Jack Nicholson should give out Best Picture every year. They did it last time and it had this wonderful air of “Jack’s done. Party’s over. Let’s all head home.”
No surprise they missed some of the actors who passed this year; they missed Jimmy Doohan the other year. Still, that pic of Heath Ledger hurt.
With regard to the question of co-directors, according to this:
http://www.dga.org/dga_members/ai_au_spring03_pg3.php3
the DGA’s basic position is that there will be only one director for any picture. Co-directing is only allowed via a waiver fromthe DGA when the co-directors are deemed to be a “bona fide” team, functioning as a single unit (i.e. not dividing up responsibilities.) Many of the teams given DGA waivers, it is noted, are siblings: the Bros. Wachowski, Farrelly, Hughes, etc.
For whatever reason, the DGA didn’t think that Rodriguez and Miller comprised a “bona fide” directing team for SIN CITY, which lead to Rodriguez’s withdrawal from the DGA.
Anyway, it does seem that the designation of co-directors is the kind of thing the DGA (theoretically) addresses on a case-by-case basis.
I actually recorded the Oscars and watched them this morning. I wasn’t planning to watch them at all, but the blog added more entertainment value. I fast forwarded over everything except Jon Stewart’s bits and the parts that the blog made sound interesting.
Thanks, PAD.
I know it’s a very old comment, but I had to comment on this:
Thank you, Academy, for proving why ghettoizing the animated features to their own category is fûçkìņg stupid. I knew that one day, someone would make a movie like Persepolis (I personally imagined someone making an animated adaptation of Art Spiegelman’s Maus), and it would go up against the typical Disney fare, which is a joke.
Of course, one can quibble about any particular award goes–who should’ve won, who shouldn’t have–that’s part of the fun, after all.
But I’m not quite ready to agree that that’s a reason to decry the whole “Best Animated Feature” cateogry. PERSEPOLIS is a great movie, no doubt. But if there were no Best Animated Feature category, it’s very possible that it would have gotten no Oscar nominations at all. Yes, the Best Animated Feature category is going to be dominated by the Disneys and Pixars of the world, but since the category exists, it might always shine some light on other animated work like PERSEPOLIS or THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE or HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE. Even if those pictures don’t win the award, it’s nice that the Best Animated Feature category exists to get them a bit of notice; if the category didn’t exist, there would surely be many, many years where no animated feature gets any Oscar attention (just as there were before the category was established.)
Luigi Novi,
Internet or not, show some respect. Be an adult once in a while.
11:11: How marvelously inclusive: our folks serving in Baghdad announcing short subject. Of course, there’s some irony in that considering Iraq is in fact unending rather than short, but…
For my money the irony is that members of our “don’t ask, don’t tell, get drummed out anyway” military announcing the winner, Freeheld, a movie about gay rights.
This insistence that Luigi Novi “show some respect” sounds quite a bit like “You have the right to agree with what I just said.” I’ve thought he was completely off-base in some comments made in the past, but nothing he said on this string was the least bit risible.
There was far less embarrassingly bad material on this Oscars show than most, and Jon Stewart did well – much better than two years ago.
“Jon Stewart did well – much better than two years ago.”
The 2006 Oscars, or as John Oliver called it, “the unpleasantness.”