Marc, whose new series “Eli Stone” will be debuting in January 2008 right after “Lost” sent the following WGA strike-related poem around as as a twisted Christmas greeting. Reprinted here with permission:
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town
Nick Counter was smiling. (Though it looked like a frown.)
Just to confirm what’s been announced elsewhere, yes, I will be writing a five issue New Frontier series for IDW next year. It will be completely in continuity and will pick up exactly where the previous NF book left off. There will also be another New Frontier short story set in the Mirror Universe as part of another collection.
I do not have a pub date on the next novel. When I do I’ll let you know.
PAD
In Fallen Angel #22 we see war coming to Bete Noire as seen through the eyes of an unexpected visitor, and X-Factor #26 continues the Messiah Complex. Whad’ja think?
PAD
One of the worst kept secrets in Hollywood is that Jodie Foster is gay. Kind of falls into the “Who cares?” department. Nevertheless it prompted an entire CNN discussion when Foster openly thanked her long-time partner when she accepted an award recently.
And all I can think is that somewhere John Hinckley is shouting, “Son of a BÍTÇH!” I mean, jeez…discovering that you’re the guy who embarked on a failed attempt to assassinate a president in order to romantically impress a lesbian. That’s gotta hurt.
PAD
I figure I should out myself before it is revealed in a press conference.
Several months back I had pneumonia. The doctor put me on steroids. Not only did the steroids clear up the pneumonia, they also caused me to gain thirty pounds of solid muscle, regrow hair on my head, enabled me to hit a 96 MPH fastball, throw a no-hitter, make love to my wife for thirty seven hours straight, and lift a Buick over my head. They also increased the speed of my computer, added Showtime on Demand to my cable package for no extra money, and brokered the deal that sent the Broadway stagehands back to work (but not the WGA because there’s some things that not even steroids can accomplish).
PAD
Several young Jewish kids were attacked by ten angry poorly educated Christians (yes, their religion is relevant as is their lack of education; you’ll see why) on the subway the other day. The Jewish kids were returning from a Chanukah celebration and were carrying a menorah. The Christian guys (one of whom has a Myspace page depicting him holding a gun to his girlfriend’s head; what a riot) wished the Jewish kids a Merry Christmas. Apparently they thought they were being sarcastic and were under the impression the Jewish kids would feel duly insulted. Instead the Jewish kids wished them a happy Chanukah right back. The Christians took offense, angrily declaring that the Jews had killed their Savior (see, that’s where the religion is relevant) on Chanukah (that’s where the lack of education is relevant) and that the Jewish kids were going to go straight to hëll. Apparently endeavoring to give them a preview, one of them spat on one of the Jewish kids. The Jewish kid calmly declared intent to, like Jesus, turn the other cheek. Whereupon the Christian guys attacked.
And who stepped in to intervene? A Muslim guy, who got two black eyes for his trouble.
Fortunately police were present at the next stop to arrest the attackers, one of whom was already slated to begin a six month jail stay in January for beating up a black guy in 2005.
No word from the MTA as to where hate crimes and assaults rank in desireability in comparison to pole dancers.
PAD
On a dare from a website, four girls descended into the subways of New York City and performed risque strip numbers on the N train, gyrating on poles and dangling from overhead strap handles. They won the ten grand from the site, darejunkies.com.
And, as if they give a dámņ, they received a severe scolding from the MTA as a spokesman declared, “The last thing we want is for anyone to turn our subways into roving burlesque stages for crude exhibitionists.”
Really. Is that a fact? “The last thing we want?”
As an occasional subway rider, when I’m thinking about “the last thing we want” on the subways, I’m thinking…oh, I dunno…a fare hike.
Or more trains breaking down.
Or money being cut so that there are fewer transit cops.
Or graffiti all over the place.
Or terrorists detonating bombs.
Or fewer trains being run so that the trains that are running are horrifically overcrowded.
Or people bumming money off me.
Or people vomiting or urinating in the corner or staggering around drunk and falling on me.
On my personal list, gorgeous strippers performing on the subway is so far and away from “the last thing” that it’s not even funny. Perhaps the MTA should get its priorities in order.
PAD
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