1) I’d like to see a James Bond movie where it’s revealed that his parents survived the ski accident in which they allegedly died and are running an evil spy organization, and his parents are played by Sean Connery and Diana Rigg.
2) I’d like to see a rumor started that Adrian Brody will be starring as “The Shadow,” just so we see if we can actually make it come about.
3) I’d like to see James Cameron’s “Aquaman.”
4) I’d like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called “Snakes on a Plane” set to the tune of “Band on the Run.” (Admit it: You’re already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn’t it.)
5) I’d like to see in the next “Pirates” movie that Jack Sparrow got his hat from his dad (Keith Richards.)
6) I’d like to see George W. Bush as a guest on “The Daily Show.”
7) I’d like to see Jack Black playing Blackjack.
8) I’d like to see Geoffrey Rush starring as Doctor Syn in a remake of Disney’s “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.”
PAD
• 
I’d like to see a Power Rangers team-up where most of the fighting is done at Megazord size, though not nessercerily with each team’s in their own Megazords…
For that matter, PAD writing an episode of Power Rangers, especially if it means keeping in bits like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PoHm_wpNtw
A new Jos Weadon series?
Pointless things I’d like to see?
1. A TV series based on the ‘Lensman’ books, handled by someone who has respect for the material.
2. An episode of ‘Galactica’ where I didn’t get hit over the head with the “Maybe the Cylons are right” message by showing the worst examples of humanity every 5 minutes.
3. Oded Fehr being given a big break by casting him as ‘Sinbad the Sailor’, instead of it going to the likes of Keanu Reeves and Richard Grieco.
4. People to stop dismissing Milla Jovovich as “just another model turned actress” and actually paying attention to her acting, which technically and artistically kicks butt. (C’mon. Ignore the outfits in ‘The 5th Element’ and notice how she actually pulls off the whole “Frightened, confused” thing)
5. An issue of Batman, with the final page of him being thrown to the feet of the “Mystery Villain”, Batman slowly looks up… And sees “King Tut” from the Adam West series sitting on a throne. Batman, realizing who wrote the issue, looks out of the panel and begins to scream PAD’s name in a Shatnerian manner.
Tuttle wrote M saying: “We have only seven slots available at any time and the very best agent of course takes on the name of James Bond.” A few years ago, I was listening to several unabridged audio versions of several of Fleming’s books. (Among other things, it’s fun to listen to “From Russia with Love” and hear the reaction when Bond’s name is brought up as the Soviets are trying to decide who to kill in British Intelligence.) And I’m pretty sure I heard mentioned in passing that there are only three 00 agents at any one time.
James Lynch-
Nice ot see I’m not the only one who remembers SCUD…
I’d like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called “Snakes on a Plane” set to the tune of “Band on the Run.” (Admit it: You’re already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn’t it.)
You bášŧárd. F***ing earworm, that is.
I’m also loving the multi-Bond idea that so many people are discussing.
As for other pointless things I’d like to see —
13) George W. Bush as a guest on “Celebrity Jeopardy!”.
14) An alternate universe where Lucas did the prequel series (a) earlier, (b) with a still-living Leigh Brackett doing the scripting, and (c) with a young Ben Cross playing the Anakin role.
15) Sesame Street doing a good spoof of “Elmo’s World.” (Oh, wait — they DID that last week, with “Cookie’s World.” ÐÃMN funny.)
TWL
MikeT wrote: “Weird al never takes suggestions for songs due to liability issues. That is an inviolable rule that is never broken. Except for the time that he did it when Madonna suggested “Like a Surgeon”. :)”
Pity, as PAD inspired me to think of No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” for a Snakes on a Plane parody…
Micha: “A new Jos Weadon [sic] series?”
YES! Or at least the Spike w/ Illyria, Ripper, other character spotlight, and Firefly direct-to-DVD movies that have been hinted at (or more, in the Spike/Illyria case) actually being made.
And, Tim Lynch – “Cookie’s World”? Seriously? That sounds freakin’ HILARIOUS!
Luke — yes, seriously. They did it earlier this week as the opening 10-15 minutes of the show. It wasn’t done with any malice so far as I could tell, but it poked fun at the concept with just enough bite to keep me laughing while my daughter enjoyed Cookie Monster. Good stuff.
TWL
“1. A TV series based on the ‘Lensman’ books, handled by someone who has respect for the material.”
Hëll, I would be happy, short term, to see the Japanese Lensman on DVD.
I want to see all those ads of a remake for The Wicker Man turn out to be just a bad dream on my part. There’s no way that it can be remade and turn out good. Half of its charm is that it was riding that fine line of strangely cool and utter crap so well.
Ok. The Bond thing is really cool but I see it going two ways. A straight up Bond film might be cool as hëll but it would make on awesome spoof as well. Someone convince PAD that it was all his idea for his next book.
I’d like to see a musical called “Food,” to complete the Liquid Plumber Trilogy begun by Grease and Hair.
“I want to see all those ads of a remake for The Wicker Man turn out to be just a bad dream on my part. There’s no way that it can be remade and turn out good. Half of its charm is that it was riding that fine line of strangely cool and utter crap so well.”
And plus we know the ending already. The ending is what makes that movie, and I can’t imagine being entertained by that story with that factor of suspense and unpredictability removed.
And since every Neil LaBute movie is inferior to the previous Neil LaBute movie, I can’t see it being any good.
I got two. A live-action Gatchaman,(Battle of the Planets for any non-anime fans out there) and a REAL ending for V. Miss those lizards.
More songs with great titles like “Monkey vs Robot”, “King Robot Theremin”, “Love and a Molotov Cocktail” and “She Said She Was a Virgin But Her Baby’s Name Ain’t Jesus”
“…and a REAL ending for V. Miss those lizards.”
Well, the skinny out there is that they are working on a next gen kinda V. It will even have some of the old cast.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366112/
Peter wrote:
8) I’d like to see Geoffrey Rush starring as Doctor Syn in a remake of Disney’s “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.”
Last year, I ran across a Disney digest called COMIC ZONE, the contents of which included a “Pirates of the Caribbean” story with Capt. Jack Sparrow — in which he MET the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh! The Scarecrow helped Jack escape the British once again.
And you thought “Archie Meets the Punisher” was an odd team-up.
Russell T. Davies casts Sean Connery as The Master, escaped from the Eye of Harmony!
Nah. We all know already that Anthony Stewart Head is the Master, working with the Krillitane as one of his many plots to destroy the Earth. 🙂
And me, I’d like to see a line of Firefly novels or comics picking up where the movie left off.
“Last year, I ran across a Disney digest called COMIC ZONE, the contents of which included a “Pirates of the Caribbean” story with Capt. Jack Sparrow — in which he MET the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh! The Scarecrow helped Jack escape the British once again.”
Well, since “Pirates” is set in the late 1600s and the Scarecrow was operating around the time of the American revolution, I’m moved to ask whether the Scarecrow aided Jack’s escape by having him jump into his time machine…
PAD
I’d like to see Jessica Alba be unavailable for the next FF movie and have Heather Graham take her place. Sue Richards has always been the sexiest thing in the Marvel universe, so it only makes sense to have the sexiest actress play her (and a real blonde, too!)
I’d like to see, next time there’s a crowd in a Marvel book that’s shouting “Kill all the muties!” for someone to say “My kid is a mutant … he has Down syndrome … are you going to kill him, too?” and pull their little kid to the front of the crowd to put it in perspective. Maybe with a little follow-up dialogue that point out that anyone with a genetic based disease is technically a mutant.
I’d like to see someone point out in public that if George Bush really thought that Saddam had WMD ready to use and was crazy enough to use them then it was LUNACY to send our troops in there to take them away from him. He would have wiped them all out with a few Sarin tipped missles and/or nukes…what would he have to lose? That’s why we’ve NEVER, EVER, attacked the homeland of a country that we KNOW has WMD (as North Korea is demonstrating now). Ergo, of course, W knew there were no WMD.
And on the topic of homelands, I’d like to see the Department of Homeland Security renamed to the Department of Domestic Security. “Homeland Security” sounds too much like something Hitler or Stalin would come up with, and suggests a certain xenophobia on the part of the American people.
Forget a remake. I just want Disney to FINALLY put out the original “Scarecrow of Romney Marsh” out on DVD, like they’ve been promising to for years.
Is there some sort of rights hassle or something?
>And you’d think they would get a clue as to WHY nobody is GOING to the movies—-
Endless streams of inferior remakes? Ear-busting volime on their sound systems? Idiots with cell phones? Shall I go on?
> Where the coyote catches the road runner…
There was one such. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite turn out the way he was hoping for.
> Lensman … with respect for the material.
It would require a PAD-like touch to explain some aspects. For example, have the Arisians state, early on that they’d have to actively suppress certain types of technologies among the races they’re monitoring – computers, for example – so as to force the races to compensate for this lack by developping their mental skills to make up for it. It would be in keeping with their agenda, and the Eddorians wouldn’t notice/care because the more primitive tech would make these potential slave races all the more easy to work with.
Shrub showing up on the Daily Show? About as likely as our Republican-style, homophobic Prime Minister showing up at an AIDS conference. Which, when Canada hosted a major international one recently, he deliberately avoided in spite of repeated invitations to give the opening address. Feh.
Jerry C. – thanks for the V info! The big three – Diana, Julie, Mike Donovan – and Willie (unless it’s a “Nightmare on V Street”…) – written and directed by Johnson, the man behind the original? Would be sweet. This is how sequels to properties SHOULD be done.
A.J. Sherman wrote “I’d like to see Jessica Alba be unavailable for the next FF movie and have Heather Graham take her place. Sue Richards has always been the sexiest thing in the Marvel universe, so it only makes sense to have the sexiest actress play her (and a real blonde, too!)”
All for Heather Graham in general, and for a blonde playing a blonde – along those same lines: no offense to Kirsten Dunst, who is very good, but I think that Alicia Witt, natural redhead who was in the running for the role, would’ve been a great Mary Jane. But, regarding the sexiness of the Invisible Woman – personally, I’ve always seen her as part of the “older” generation, just as I’ve thought of Superman/Batman/Wonder Woman/Captain America – no matter what I’ve later found out their ages are supposed to be. Even though I know Reed is supposed to be older – and even though age isn’t an automatic deterrant to attractiveness, of course – she’s one of those characters who’s always just seemed “too old for me”; which helped make the shameless, shameless cheesecake costume of the earlyish nineties just seem embarassing.
I had a similar idea for a multi-Bond story as a film that could never possibly happen. Some friends of mine liked it and were encouraging me to write it as a script or fan fiction or something, and I never wanted to bother. But basically it was right after Pierce Brosnan came aboard, so a film trailer idea was that you’d have Brosnan’s bond tied up in a chair with a standard interrogation light on him, and a voice from the shadows says, “Who are you?” Brosnan replies wearily, “Bond, James Bond”. And the voice replies angrily, “No. You’re not.” Then stepping through the shadows, he says, “I am!” And it’s Sean Connery. And it’s exactly the way you guys have already described. James Bond is a code name with same history. (M and Moneypenny similarly have codenames, US and SPECTRE have their own versions of this, etc.) The one additional thing I have to add to the mix is that in my version only the original, Sean Connery, was actually able to retire. And the future Bonds aren’t aware of the previous ones existence, because they’re actually mind-programmed with the memories and historic profile of the other. Lazenby’s Bond kills himself after the death of his wife, which is why they program future Bonds to not engage in long-term romantic relationships. They keep Moore’s Bond on too long, and he gets killed on a mission post-View to a Kill, Dalton’s Bond goes rogue like he did in License to Kill only the organization actually assasinates him for it. After that, Connery’s Bond – who has secretly been keeping track of all this – decides he’s had enough, and kidnaps and recruits Brosnan’s Bond to deprogram him so they can team-up and take down the 007 program.
Apologies… The Dr. Syn books have been republished for so many years, I get em mixed up.
Anyway, anyone who likes pulp fiction (not the movie) should check them out:
http://homepages.tesco.net/~davyo/drsynbooks.htm
They’re a lot of fun, and personally, I’d like to catch a time machine and pit Solomon Kane vs. The Scarecrow…
Travis
Biggest problem with having Alicia Witt be MJ? We would’ve lost out on Peter’s Interview With A Vampire allusion in the novel.
well, not utterly pointless (not to me, at least) but…
1) a monthly PAD Hulk book. really. nobody should be allowed to write the Hulk except for PAD.
2) a monthly PAD Aquaman book. really. nobody should be allowed to write Aquaman except for PAD.
Unfortunately, someone less talented than Weird Al had the same idea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb6YZNlyaXw
“Forget a remake. I just want Disney to FINALLY put out the original “Scarecrow of Romney Marsh” out on DVD, like they’ve been promising to for years.”
Seconded. I was really disappointed when it got pulled from the release list a couple years ago.
Mr. David…
Oh, yes, the madness is a sweet, heady, wine…
Your comments inspired me to come up with my own little “Snakes on a Plane” ditty… and I thought I’d share it with the public. I hope you enjoy…
“Snakes on a Plane”
(to the tune of “Band on the Run” by Wings)
Stuck inside an airplane,
Sitting here in tourist…
Stewardesses running,
Screaming too…
“There’s snakes… captain…
Snakes!”
If I ever get of here,
If we make to O’Hare,
Gonna run to the nearest door,
Anything to get out of there!
If I ever get out of here…
(If we ever get out of here…)
Well the box exploded with a mighty crash,
And the snakes, they all got free,
And the pilot said to the radio guy,
“I hope they don’t bite me!”
Snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane!
All the passengers,
And flight crew too,
All have a royal pain!
They’ve got snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane…
There were cobras, rattlers, mambas black and blue,
Constrictors here and there,
Ratters, boas, pythons, anacondas too,
Not a mongoose anywhere!
Snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane!
All the passengers,
And flight crew too,
All have a royal pain!
They’ve got snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane…
All the movie makers went to Samuel L.,
He said, “What I make, they’ll see…
“I’ve done Jedi, gangsters, so now, what the hëll…
Aero-herpetology!”
Snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane!
And producer man…
And actor Sam…
Will laugh forevermore,
At those “Snakes on a Plane”,
We saw “Snakes on a Plane”
We must all be insane,
Paid for “Snakes on a Plane!”
“And no more crunching romantically connected celebrity names together, like Brangelina or Bennifer.”
Three words: Filliam H. Muffman.
I’d like Song of the South to be on DVD in the US. Even if they have to give it one of those Leonard Maltin “I am sorry, it was a different time, now enjoy it” speeches before it.
I’d like to be able to judge it on its own merits.Certainly I am very fond of the animated parts, at least.
I am sure that the nonanimated parts are slow abd fairly boring, and I am sure I will notice a lot more racial insensitivty or even bigotry at this point. But I have some childhood fond memories of Uncle Remus as well, before this got put into Never NeverLand.
Not on the list, but something you still might appreciate:
http://dump.geenstijl.nl/mediabase/3102/def79c5e/index.html
Sometimes you just can’t wait for Weird Al (and I see I’m a post late! Nice one!)
================================
Stuck here with this ticket, can’t believe I bought it,
Never seeing more films again like this, not like this, not like this.
Will I ever get out of here?
What a movie to see today
Feels like throwing six bucks away
Hasn’t been a good flick since May
Will I ever get out of here?
Well the engine whined and with a mighty rush, we took off in the rain,
And the overhead bags sort of wriggled and sagged, and no one could explain.
Snakes on a plane. Snakes on a plane.
And Nurse Juliana and Actor Sam were cursing with disdain
Those dámņëd snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, AGH! Snakes on a plane!
Well the ticket taker drew a heavy sigh seeing all those folks in pain
And reviews were stinging in the local news, but the net geeks still remained
Snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane
Tho the plot was tame, there in the name, The plot was very plain
It’s those snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on plane, MOTHERF*N SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!
Well the jet was falling as the reptile world gave the passengers a strain
And the cabin crew was huddled up in front, while the pilot took to prayin’
Snakes on a plane, Snakes on a plane
And the cast and crew, knew what to do
They went laughing to the bank
From those snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane
First of all Peter, I’d Like to see you write the next Hulk movie.
Other than that, will somebody please put Eliza Dushku in a Marvel movie?
If Alba is not around for the next FF, I’d go for Jessica Biel or Mercedes McNab. Heather Graham wouldn’t work unless they recast Reed. Not totally against that though
AdamYJ says: “3) I’d like to see someone write an “all-ages” comic that involves dinosaurs to a large extent. I mean, why hasn’t anyone else thought of that.”
Devil Dinosaur.
James Lynch says: “4) More high-quality superhero pørņ. (Be honest: You want to see this too. Especially if you were, um, “excited” at the prospect of seeing Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman.)”
It’s the Invisible Woman. There would be only her husband Reed for us to see.
Movie scenes I’d like to see—
Charisma Carpenter and me in a naked sex scene.
Jennifer Connelly and me in a naked sex scene.
Marisa Tomei and me in a naked sex scene.
Emma Thompson and me in a naked sex scene.
Movie scenes the rest of the world is thankful they’ve never seen—
Charisma Carpenter and me in a naked sex scene.
Jennifer Connelly and me in a naked sex scene.
Marisa Tomei and me in a naked sex scene.
Emma Thompson and me in a naked sex scene.
Or—just me, naked.
.
“I’d like to see, next time there’s a crowd in a Marvel book that’s shouting “Kill all the muties!” for someone to say “My kid is a mutant … he has Down syndrome … are you going to kill him, too?” and pull their little kid to the front of the crowd to put it in perspective. Maybe with a little follow-up dialogue that point out that anyone with a genetic based disease is technically a mutant.”
Actually, they’re technically not, for the most part–they inherited the genes for that disease, they just weren’t expressed in the previous generation (or they didn’t express themselves until after the parent had already reproduced, as in Alzheimer’s.) A “mutant” is someone who has experienced a transcription error in their DNA, which isn’t the case for most genetic diseases.
You could, though, make a convincing argument that yes, by Marvel’s standards, people who are born with Down syndrome are, in fact, mutants. But I think that it’d be hard to pull off such a scene in a sensitive and sympathetic manner. (It’s like playing a symphony on a piano that’s been bøøbÿ-ŧráppëd with dynamite…one wrong move, and you’ll never hear the end of it.)
The Bond idea is awesome. Wish they’d do it.
Would also like to see:
a.) A “Deep Space Nine” movie
b.) An “Angel” movie
c.) Eliza Dushku as “Elektra”
d.) Catherine Zeta-Jones as Wonder Woman
e.) Lynda Carter as Hippolyta
f.) PAD writing a Hulk screenplay
g.) Geoff Johns writing a “Green Lantern” screenplay
h.) Barbi Benton (or out) of anything
A Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. set in the early 1960’s and based on the Stan Lee/John Severin run in Strange Tales. The movie would deal with the formation of the agency and its early battle with Hydra.
The sequel would be based on the Steranko period and have the Yellow Claw or Baron Strucker as the villain.
I would like to see…
…the the Joker NOT be killed off at the end of the next Batman movie.
…A Superman movie with somebody OTHER than Lex Luthor as the primary villain.
…A live action World’s Finest with the current actors.
-Rex Hondo-
Isn’t it time somebody promoted Captain Picard?
I wasn’t really sure about this whole multiple Bonds idea. But I like the above proposal. In any case, having a movie with Connry exploring the whole idea and persona of Bond would be interesting. Bond is a very underdeveloped character. The formula has worked for years reasonably well, but Lorin’s ideas open up some interesting posibilities.
I’ve always felt Liam Neeson should play Dr. Syn / The Scarecrow. Rush had never occurred to me. Of course, since Geoffrey Rush can play just about anyone/thing I can’t help but believe he could really do it justice.
Adrian Brody as The Shadow? hmmmmm. I’ll have to think about that one. I will say that he’s right for it physically (he’s got the nose and the build, but he needs to come across as physically stronger) and he’s certainly got the acting chops, but I’ve yet to see him pull off the “wealthy, young man-about-town” persona. I’m not opposed to it. Just need to think about it.
I’ve always felt Liam Neeson should play Dr. Syn / The Scarecrow. Rush had never occurred to me. Of course, since Geoffrey Rush can play just about anyone/thing I can’t help but believe he could really do it justice.
Hmm… Liam Neeson… Not a bad choice. As long as it isn’t Andrew Vosloo.
How about Tim Roth or Nick Cage for Solomon Kane?
Not that he’s a well known character, but between him and Dark Agnes, their my favorite REH characters.
-T
err… make that they’re my favorite REH characters.
And I wanted to be an editor… sheesh.
-T
A sequel to “The Saint” where Val Kilmer is taken aside and told by Roger Moore that he’s no Simon Templar.
“I’ve always felt Liam Neeson should play Dr. Syn / The Scarecrow. Rush had never occurred to me. Of course, since Geoffrey Rush can play just about anyone/thing I can’t help but believe he could really do it justice.”
Neeson could do it if you want to go for classically handsome hero. The reason I like Rush is that he can come across as so calm and mannered. But then he can crank it up. The thing that sold me on him for the Scarecrow was listening to his laugh as Barbossa.
PAD