1) I’d like to see a James Bond movie where it’s revealed that his parents survived the ski accident in which they allegedly died and are running an evil spy organization, and his parents are played by Sean Connery and Diana Rigg.
2) I’d like to see a rumor started that Adrian Brody will be starring as “The Shadow,” just so we see if we can actually make it come about.
3) I’d like to see James Cameron’s “Aquaman.”
4) I’d like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called “Snakes on a Plane” set to the tune of “Band on the Run.” (Admit it: You’re already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn’t it.)
5) I’d like to see in the next “Pirates” movie that Jack Sparrow got his hat from his dad (Keith Richards.)
6) I’d like to see George W. Bush as a guest on “The Daily Show.”
7) I’d like to see Jack Black playing Blackjack.
8) I’d like to see Geoffrey Rush starring as Doctor Syn in a remake of Disney’s “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.”
PAD
• 
“Weird” Al does have a new CD coming out in September, so that “Snakes On A Plane” parody could be a reality!
On the subject of novelty performers: PAD, as a friend of Bill Mumy, do you know if there are any new plans for a “Barnes and Barnes” CD, or are they officially split up?
Matthew Hawes
COMICS UNLIMITED
http://www.ComicsUnlimited.biz
Matt buddy, how are you? (Rob from bynerobotics). Hope your store is doing ok after this Civil War debacle.
Blast you David!!!!
You’ve discovered a new method for the transmition of viruses. Now I want to see almost every one of those things. I can see Connery doing it now: “Bond, James Bond…Senior.” Get Harrison Ford to play Bond and then….naaaah.
I would love to see Peter Jackson do ERB’s first three Mars books.
Hi Rob (Hewitt?),
I’m fine! I hope all is going well for you, too.
The “Civil War” thing is a mess, but it’s something I almost expected would happen, given how publishers don’t seem to care about late books anymore.
PAD, what’s your take on the matter?
Matthew Hawes
COMICS UNLIMITED
http://www.ComicsUnlimited.biz
Bush on the Daily Show? That would rule.
Bush would never go on the Daily Show! He’s afraid of getting pruned!
HA! I kill me.
And now, Peter, thanks to you, I’m going to be singing Snakes on a Plane for at LEAST a week. And as for Cameron’s Aquaman, I can only see one thing.
“I’m the King of the Seas!”
Hate to say it, but the only way Bush would appear on THE DAILY SHOW is if his scheduling is being handled by the same person who booked Stephen Colbert for the Bush roast. And I suspect that person has been transferred to Iraq.
#8 would rule.
I’d like to see a reference to Calhoun in the next Movie – Anyone got JJ Abrahms phone number ??
Obviously … thats the next star trek movie
Also obviously … its a link to New Frontier
And on the subjects of links … When is the next new frontier due out ?? C’mon PAD we’re dying here .. give us some crumbs.
You hinted a while ago (OCT 03 in questions thread) that you were looking a kirk/calhoun time travel story – or perhaps calhoun in the mirror universe — Any news please ?!?
I like them all, except the first one should be George Lazenby instead of Connery.
And maybe the Scarecrow movie can be based on Tom Mandrake’s new work http://www.comicscommunity.com/boards/tommandrake/
And just to add in my own – I’d like to see a buddy cop movie with
David Keith and
Keith David
Hmmm. Next year there is going to be a two volume collection of Mirror Universe stories from the different eras of Star Trek. Peter is listed as the writer for one of them.
As for Bush appearing on THE DAILY SHOW, forget that, I would love to see him on THE COLBERT REPORT.
As for what I want to see… a movie adaption of the Belgariad, a Star Trek New Frontier tv series
and a healthy Robert Jordan.
I always thought it would make a great Bond movie to have the latest actor decide to retire, and have him shipped off to an island, (yes like The Prisoner,) only to meet up with Connery and Bond who team up to escape.
I meant Connery and Moore of course.
With Casino Royale re-booting the whole franchise and starting over its too late now but it would have ALSO been kinda nice if ‘M’ would have explained to whoever the current BOND would have been (and also filling the audience in during this brief explenation) “That as you know Bond, only the best of the best get to become a Double O agent. We have only seven slots available at any time and the very best agent of course takes on the name of James Bond. He must absorb all previous agents histories and the official biography of James Bond, thus becoming James Bond for however long he is able to.
Your previous namesakes were all quite good in their day but of course they have all chosen to retire and so now it is YOUR turn to become the next James Bond. You seem up to the challenge.”
She would then hand him a manila folder…..
He of course would take it and the camera would then move in for a close up and introduce us to the new face for the next four or seven films in the franchise and the new actor would look at “M” of course and say something like./…
“I am ready M. I’ll make you and the Her Majesty proud.”
M would then say, “No heroics Bond. Just do your job.”
Or SOME form of dialogue like that so that all the differant faces with the same name these past forty odd years would be easily explained within the universe OF the whole film franchise…
But then- as I said- too late now-
But Bond WILL return……
9) Paramount actually offering to adapt New Frontier into a new tv series, or at least a series of miniseries.
10) Editors no longer censoring or canceling good books simply to suit their personal visions or for the marketing of animated versions of the characters (which seems like putting the cart before the horse).
11) Filmmakers actually making good adaptations of comic book properties consistently.
Bond is a Gallfreyan?
(Yes, Who-vians, I’m sure I mangled the spelling)
Maybe cable networks who have one or two set times for commercial spots so that watching the movie is more enjoyable
not enough space for them all? Why not have less commercials but charge them more for the priviledge of airing…
who the heck watches the stupid stuff anyhow–
I’m watching Jaws for Gosh sakes—(yes- for the hundredth time- but STILL-) I want less commercial breaks and I wanna specific time WHEN they’ll be on during the film so I know when to go potty or grab a sandwhich.
ALSO—-
How about monitors in the hallway of a movie theater—so when I am waiting in line for the next showing of a film i ALREADY PAID 10 bucks to see-(twenty if i have a date AND overpriced popcorn and drinks—)I will have something to watch and maybe I wont MIND seeing a commercial IN THE HALLWAY as long as once I sit in my cushy theater seat all I need to do is watch the dámņ movie and not suffer thru TWENTY MINUTES of commercials and info commercials and pleas for benefits and the occassional movie trailer—-
totally unreasonable the way they get us into the seats we PAID for and then force us to watch endless commercials. I mean- they are ALREADY getting extra money FROM the commercial which SHOULD go to paying for the teenage lazy staff and the rent and the electricity so why not have the commercials in the hallway (all the bills are paid and if anyone wishes to stand there and watch all the stuff they can see at home for free they can feel free to do so) but once I am in my PAID FOR seat I expect one or two trailers and then the dámņ movie!!!!
And you’d think they would get a clue as to WHY nobody is GOING to the movies—-
we ALL KNOW your making big bucks on the commercials and yet it STILL costs 50 bucks or more for a family to see a movie!!!! DUH!!!!!
12) A THE PRISONER movie with Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, MacNee, and Rigg among the residents of the Village. McGoohan would, of course, be Number 2.
I’ve long wanted to get a country music duet between Garth Brooks and Holly Dunn.
Well the bond movie I would like to see is a take off on princess bride wher you find out james bond s like the Dread Pirate Roberts, and there actually have been several “Bonds”.
This movie would have 2 key scenes…. 1) every one stares at Lazenby wondering who the hëll he is… and 2) more importantly Connery punching out Dalton.
I figure the story could revolve around M getting kidnapped and all the “Bonds” comming out of retirement to save her.
ohh also forgot would love to see firefly get another shot…lol
Well since I just finished rereading Alias Dr. Syn (the scarecrow), I never thought of Geoffry Rush, but I think he could do it.
Mind you, I liked Disney’s interpretation of it, I could see Michael Bay get áhøld of it and totally destroy it (or Brett Ratner)…
It needs an even handed director… The big names… actually, I think Stephen Frears could do it justice.
And on the Shadow. Come on. If they make it, he needs to actually use his guns, and don’t get Russel Mulcahay to direct it.
Please.
With no word of Alec Baldwin.
-T
I dunno, I think Brett Ratner is okay. Red Dragon and X-Men showed that he can handle adaptations of other properties fairly well.
I’d like to see a DVD of “Who Wants to be a Superhero?”–with a commentary track by me:
“Oh, gee, one of them is a spy working for Stan. Gee, could it possibly be the guy with the word “TRAITOR” written backwards across his chest in four-inch-high letters?”
“He’s out because he wanted to make action figures of himself? I’d have shitcanned him because he clearly doesn’t know what his codename means…”
“Superheroes don’t lie? Right, except when they LIE ALL THE ÐÃMN TIME. ‘See, Lois, I’m not Superman–here’s a picture of us together!’ ‘How do you get all these Spider-Man pictures, Parker? Oh, just lucky, I guess.’ ‘May I remind you again that I am NOT Daredevil?'”
And so on.
1Well the bond movie I would like to see is a take off on princess bride wher you find out james bond s like the Dread Pirate Roberts, and there actually have been several “Bonds”.
This movie would have 2 key scenes…. 1) every one stares at Lazenby wondering who the hëll he is… and 2) more importantly Connery punching out Dalton.
I figure the story could revolve around M getting kidnapped and all the “Bonds” comming out of retirement to save her.
*****
I’ve been saying that for years. Have all 5 Bonds (well no six I guess) in the movie. The new guy gets kidnapped and the 5 previous guys have to be called out of retirement or something. Or the 5 previous Bonds one by one get kidnapped. James Bond is the name and history they give to their top 00 agent who
Actually, I’m parodying “Fly On A Plane” –
“I’m a snake on a plane,
I’m slith’rin’ all around.
I got on in Honolulu
Now I’m L-A bound.”
“The “Civil War” thing is a mess, but it’s something I almost expected would happen, given how publishers don’t seem to care about late books anymore.
PAD, what’s your take on the matter?”
I more or less expected it, really. One of the reasons that I tied in early on.
PAD
I would love to see whoever conceived “Galactica 1980” strung up by the short hairs and fed inch by inch to a heard of angry chihuahuas. I mean severely p.o’d rat dogs.
I’d like to see a decent film adaptation of ANY Heinlein novel, as well as the punishment above for anyone involved in the “Deep Space 90210” fiasco.
And, for anyone who gets the reference, I’d like to coyote catch the roadrunner, I’d like to see the Mounties take a hit, but i’d love to see Dolly Parton’s…well, whatever.
PAD said:
I more or less expected it, really. One of the reasons that I tied in early on.
Very wise move, in retrospect. Earlier I believe you said the reason you kept it short was because of fandom complaining about six months of tie-ins–right before you pointed out how all the tie-ins were flying off the shelves. Now they’re not even gonna make it to the shelves… but at least your books will. Funny how things work out. (A good length for tie-ins may very well be no more than half the length of the event.)
> I’d like to see a DVD of “Who Wants to be a
> Superhero?” — with a commentary track by me:
>
> “He’s out because he wanted to make action
> figures of himself? I’d have shitcanned him
> because he clearly doesn’t know what his
> codename means…”
I actually went along with that one: the cardinal sin in comics has always been trying to profit from your powers, with Peter Parker being the archetypical example of it blowing up in one’s face. Also look at all the crap Booster Gold got from other heroes for the same reason.
> “Superheroes don’t lie? Right, except when
> they LIE ALL THE ÐÃMN TIME. ‘See, Lois, I’m
> not Superman — here’s a picture of us
> together!’
> ‘How do you get all these Spider-Man pictures,
> Parker? Oh, just lucky, I guess.’
> ‘May I remind you again that I am NOT
> Daredevil?'”
I confess surprise that Stan Lee has forgotten so much of what he himself once wrote and pioneered. “Heroes don’t start out bad and turn good.” (Or words to that effect.) Excuse me? The Avengers: Hawkeye. Quicksilver. The Scarlet Witch. Which he himself wrote, if I recall correctly.
“Heroes don’t hurt people, they help people.” Well, Gerry Conway did create The Punisher after Mr. Lee was no longer writing and editing (and maybe not reading) comics on a regular basis….
“Spider-Man would never part with his mask.” Oh? Four words: “Spider Man No More!”
And while not wanting to get into an argument over whether Mr. Lee or Jack Kirby had more influence in the creation of the early Marvel Silver Age heroes, at least Mr. Kirby could have been acknowledged.
Forgot a few things:
Superman did take off his cape, every time he flew someone to the Fortress of Solitude during the Mort Weisinger era.
And how the hëll could he have said that super-heroes didn’t let their personal problems get in the way of their being super-heroes? Marvel was built on that idea!
Let’s see, what do I want to see?
A moratorium placed on referring to celebrities by their first names. Like they’re our friends. And no more crunching romantically connected celebrity names together, like Brangelina or Bennifer.
No more reality shows that involve singing, dancing, stand-up, losing weight or contrived romances. Survivor is okay, but from now on, whoever gets voted out is sacrificed to the island gods.
Mel Gibson should attend temple services for six months, possibly with a Holocaust survivor. I’m not making light of the situation; it would just be nice if the punishment fit the crime for a change.
No more crunching TV credits down to postage stamp size. If we can’t see them anyway, what’s the point? And while I’m on the subject, no more on-screen interactive promos. It’s not much fun watching a heavy-hitting drama only to have a tennis ball bounce across the screen in the middle of it.
Any director wishing to make a comic book-based film has to read every issue of the comic book ever published, going all the way back to issue one. Golden Age included.
And for those who have been watching Who Wants to Be A Superhero, more power to you guys! I got as far as the huge black woman festooned with donuts and I had to give it up. Side note to David Klaus: if there’s any lingering doubt about who was the real creative force behind most of Marvel’s greatest characters, I think Stan Lee’s involvement in this series pretty much proves that it was the late great Jack Kirby who came up with the goods. Otherwise we’d all be arguing about which side Monkey Woman would be fighting on in Civil War.
Tuttle wrote:
>”Your previous namesakes were all quite good in
>their day but of course they have all chosen to
>retire and so now it is YOUR turn to become the
>next James Bond. You seem up to the challenge.”
Heh. You could expand on this to explain other discrepancies in the 007 films:
“Oh, and another thing. You will be regularly associating with certain people in the agency — myself, Q, Miss Moneypenny, and your American counterpart, Felix Leiter. Like you, they are nameless agents who have been assigned to their various roles. It is very important that when you meet them, you act as if you’ve always known them, even if you’ve never seen them before in your life. Is that understood?”
“Completely, M.”
“Good. From time to time, those agents will also be replaced. If this occurs during your tenure, you must pretend to recognize the replacements, even if their ages, nationalities, races or genders change.”
“Ah, yes, I’d heard rumors that Felix used to be black, and that you were a man once. Does SPECTRE have a similar program?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Well, Ernst Stavro Blofeld…”
“Oh, yes, the whole scar-and-hair thing. Yes, SPECTRE has gone through a few Blofelds in their time, too.”
“Now I see why you weren’t bothered about me being blonde.”
“Blonde? James, you have *always* been blonde.”
(Yeah, you could have some fun with this…)
Wait a minute. James Bond’s parents died in a skiing accident. Yet, there’s a skiing scene in every James Bond movie whether it’s really needed or not. You’d think he’d like tempting fate.
Anyway:
1) I’d like to see a Young Justice animated series. That book felt like it was halfway to being a Saturday morning cartoon anyway. Though, it might seem redundant following on the heels of that Teen Titans ‘toon.
2) I’d like to see a series of movies based on The Chronicles of Prydain, just because they’re cool books.
3) I’d like to see someone write an “all-ages” comic that involves dinosaurs to a large extent. I mean, why hasn’t anyone else thought of that.
4) I’d like to see a Green Lantern movie with the character of Kyle Rayner as the lead (not likely at this point).
That’s all I have for now. I removed a couple that were too “gripe-y”.
I knew that the Bond franchise was in deep, deep trouble when I realized that the only two films that got me excited about Bond again were…not James Bond movies.
“The Rock.” Sean Connery plays an old, gray, stringy-haired British prisoner who was locked up by the US in the Sixties and then pretty much abandoned and forgotten about. His skills and resourcefulness are very, very special.
I’m there in the theater thinking “You know, if they forgot about Nicholas Cage and the whole Alcatraz thing, we wouldn’t even need to call it a Bond film.” We’re all smart enough to understand that Bond’s last case as 007 went very, very wrong, that the SIS disavowed all knowledge of their agent and passed his identity and license to kill to a new operative, and that Bond was far too much of a professional to break.
The other one was “The Incredibles.” After spending two hours with that design and art direction, I believe that the smartest thing that could possibly be done to the Bond franchise would be to have Pixar make the next film.
Set it in the “classic” Bond world. Connery as Bond. Cold War raging like liquid nitrogen. Madmen with fantastic plans and weapons, fantastic characters who’ll stop at nothing.
Bond doesn’t work if you try to make him into a “real” person who lives in “our” world. He’s Bond. He lives in James Bond’s world. And only Pixar — using a style of character design that’s more realistic than “The Incredibles” but more stylized than the people in “Shrek” — can really pull it off.
Yeah, I’m another “multi-Bond” guy. I’ve always wished the first movie with a new actor would open with the typical big action setpiece using the previous actor but have him get killed during it. Then, after the credits, the new actor walks into M’s office and is greeted “Hello, Mr. Bond” and is handed the folder.
As for something I’d like to see…
I’d like to see Adam West and Lee Majors guest-star on an episode of “Boston Legal.” Bonus points if they sing with Shatner.
Regarding Bond.
I’ve always thought a remake of “Casino Royale” with Connery as Sir James Bond would have been great.
For those unfamiliar, in the sixties, they made a Bond spoof where 007 is killed, and the original Bond has to come out of retirement to lead the SIS, or MI-6 or whatever.
I believe David Niven was Sir James. Woody Allen plays James Bond Jr.
Best part of the movie? Sir James first act is to rename everyone in the acency James Bond, and gives them all the 007 number. So all these people come to work, and say, “hello James” or “morning Mr. Bond”
Classic.
Matt
“Ah, yes, I’d heard rumors that Felix used to be black”
Wait, when was Felix black?
I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to explain the many faces of Bond (mostly because of what Scott wrote). You might as well try to explain the two Darrins on Bewitched, or the two Lt. Saaviks, or why Marty McFly retroactively got a brand new girlfriend with the same name as the old one, or… well, you get the picture.
And Adrian Brody as the Shadow? I don’t know, I’d kind of prefer it if he didn’t appear in any movie, ever again. Can’t stand him.
“12) A THE PRISONER movie with Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, MacNee, and Rigg among the residents of the Village. McGoohan would, of course, be Number 2.”
Oh…wow.
If only it would happen.
Even as a novel, PAD?
“Wait, when was Felix black?”
In ‘Never Say Never Again,’ he was played by Bernie Casey. (Granted, that wasn’t an “official” 007 movie, but it made my point… 🙂
Actually, I just discovered that in ‘Casino Royale,’ Felix is being played by Jeffrey Wright, who is also an African-American.
Some more stuff I’d like to see (in no paritcular order):
1) A movie version of I AM LEGEND starring Bruce Campbell.
2) Harlan Ellison’s version of I, ROBOT brought to the big screen, with Harlan given complete control.
3) Catherine Zeta-Jones as Wonder Woman.
4) More high-quality superhero pørņ. (Be honest: You want to see this too. Especially if you were, um, “excited” at the prospect of seeing Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman.)
5) The animated series of SCUD: THE DISPOSABLE ASSASSIN, with Jon Malkovich as the voice of Scud.
6) The real ending of the SCUD series. (What a weak cliffhanger to stop the book on!)
7) The winning lottery numbers for the grand prize on the ticket I bought.
1) Lynda Carter as Hippolyta in the upcoming Wonder Woman film.
2) More Bond movies with Pierce Brosnan but with interesting directors to tackle the franchise (Fincher, Scorcese, Tarantino, Gondry, etc.)
3) The cast of the 1994 film “The Shadow” as the cast of a 1994 film “The Batman”; Alec Baldwin – Batman/Bruce Wayne, Penelope Ann Miller – Julie Madison, Tim Curry – The Joker, Ian McKellen – Alfred
“For those unfamiliar, in the sixties, they made a Bond spoof where 007 is killed, and the original Bond has to come out of retirement to lead the SIS, or MI-6 or whatever.
I believe David Niven was Sir James. Woody Allen plays James Bond Jr.
Best part of the movie? Sir James first act is to rename everyone in the acency James Bond, and gives them all the 007 number. So all these people come to work, and say, “hello James” or “morning Mr. Bond””
That’s the spooky thing, this was long before the Bond franchise made even their first handoff of the role. So the joke of there being so many “Bonds” was a satire BEFORE the fact.
While I hadn’t thought of him playing Bond’s father, I’ve long wanted to see Sean Connery play a Bond Villain. I had thought of him being a former KGB agent who was still playing the Soviets vs America game.
“Snakes on a Plane! SNAAAKES ON A PLAAAAAAAAAANE!”
So Adrian Brody is play The Shadow? Cool! I’ll tell all my friends 🙂
Regarding what some people were saying about “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?” I’d like to see Major Victory say, “Stan, why are you so down on me being a former stripper? Every time you’re on camera, there’s a poster of “Stripperella” behind you.” And, “If it’s forbidden for super-heroes to remove parts of their costumes, how come Spider-Man removed his mask in front of a trainload of people in “Spider-Man 2?”
I admit I just scrollwed thru the comments before I call it a night, but I saw something about Mel. Do you think ‘they’ are out to get him? Would anyone care if I made the same comments–or EVEN worse?!@?
4) I’d like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called “Snakes on a Plane” set to the tune of “Band on the Run.” (Admit it: You’re already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn’t it.)
Weird al never takes suggestions for songs due to liability issues. That is an inviolable rule that is never broken. Except for the time that he did it when Madonna suggested “Like a Surgeon”. 🙂
1) Eh, sure, why not. Connery HAS to be in a Bond flick again as a villian before he kicks it. I do agree with that.
2) Hëll, no. Brody sucks. 3 hours of him in KONG is all I ever want to see for the rest of my life.
3) Christ, yes.
4) I’m going to see SoaP today on my b-day! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!
5) Nice bit, hope to see it too.
6) You, me, and every other liberal minded, Comedy Central watchin’ viewer on the planet.
7) The best thing Jack Black ever did (aside from that X-Files stint) was the song “Tribute” with his band Tenacious D. A) thier movie is going to f-ing rock and B) got and look up Tribute on http://www.youtube.com It is THE GREATEST SONG IN THE WORLD (but just a tribute)
8) Uhm. Okay.