Shooter in the Foot

digresssmlOriginally published June 18, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1022

From the first BID collection:

As of this writing, the first issue of Defiant’s new line, Warriors of Plasm, has hit the stands. I haven’t quite been able to slog through it yet; then again, with dialogue like “He must have sensed my nodes tweaking! Stand ready, Zom! I wish to be dripping with splatter gore for my lust-mate!” being delivered by a female with breasts alternating between cantaloupe and watermelon size, it could take a while.

Nevertheless, I did not enjoy writing the following column. Some of that should be self-evident. I’ll explain the rest at the end.

Barf Bag Hand Puppets, Part 4

digresssmlOriginally published June 11, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1021

Previous installments: Part 1Part 2Part 3

Well, I tried.

I had a really good story for “Useless Stories” to run, but I’ve gone through my files and I can’t find the blasted thing. It’s around here somewhere.

For those who came in late: I’m not here. By that I mean even more not here than usual—namely, I’m in Romania involved with a film shoot (albeit, hopefully, not with the police or something equally cheerful). So I’ve pounded out several BIDs in a row in order not to leave gaps. But I’m running out of time and my head is starting to hurt. In fact—I’m feeling sort of sick. Nauseated, even. Why, it makes me want to reach for a…

Yes, that’s right. It’s the return of the Barf Bag hand puppets.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day

digresssmlOriginally published May 28, 1993, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1019

My Day on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”

By Michelle Weizel

4th Grade

Mrs. Rosetti

April 29, 1993

For “Take Your Daughter to Work Day,” my dad took me to where he works with the American Justice Alliance. That is where my dad works because my dad is a super-hero. He has been a super-hero for a very very very very long time.