Year: 2012

The Muppet Tour

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

digresssmlOriginally published January 23, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1262

It was a perfectly nondescript townhouse in New York City.

I stood there and scanned it carefully for a moment, to see if I was missing anything. Perhaps there was something small and hidden, something I wasn’t seeing. A flipper mark, perhaps, or a stained glass window with a bear in it. But there was absolutely nothing. It was quiet, understated, no markings of any kind whatsoever. You could have stared at it for hours and garnered nothing about the inside by the exterior.

Continue Reading “The Muppet Tour” →

The Most Awards 1997

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

digresssmlOriginally published January 16, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1261

Yes, it’s that time of year again. The time when we here (okay, me here) at BID issue—The Most Awards. Yes, named for no particular reason after Donny Most (Ralph on Happy Days), The Most Awards are a sort of stream-of-consciousness commentary on whatever caught my fancy or whatever I think is worth making a snide remark about that I somehow missed. May I have the envelopes, please?

Continue Reading “The Most Awards 1997” →

Insane Doctor Who Scenario

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

I’m not marking this as a spoiler because it’s just me doing totally nuts speculation.

The Doctor and River Song actually produce a child. The child is a foundling and adopted in the late 1980s by Mr. and Mrs. Pond. They name her “Amy” and raise her as their own. Amy, in a story development that Heinlein would approve of, grows up and gives birth to her own mother. And in her final appearance, on the verge of death (via accident or perhaps simply old age) Amy Pond regenerates into the Doctor’s new companion.

I’m sure it’s not remotely right, but it’s fun to think about.

PAD

Where Man Josh

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

digresssmlOriginally published January 9, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1260

And now, we present: Peter’s True Horror Stories of Publishing.

Before I became the full-time and eminently competent writer I are now, I spent time toiling in the field of book publishing. One of my varied duties in that endeavor was to deal with the public and go through the material that found its way onto what is cheerfully known as the slush pile. This is the term for unsolicited material, over-the-transom stuff that comes in, and no one knows quite what to do with it.

Continue Reading “Where Man Josh” →

The Ultimate Reason to Vote Against Romney

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

In the year 2000, Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital took over KB Toys, a company that has made children happy since 1922.

In no time flat, Mitt Romney and his associates saddled KB with massive debt and drove it into bankruptcy while pocketing $83 million dollars for themselves.

The ramifications of this are obvious:

Mitt Romney doesn’t care about making children happy.

Mitt Romney doesn’t care about toys.

If Mitt Romney doesn’t care about making children happy and Mitt Romney doesn’t care about toys…

It means Mitt Romney doesn’t care about Santa.

And if Mitt Romney doesn’t care about Santa, then Mitt Romney doesn’t care about Christmas.

And if Mitt Romney doesn’t care about Christmas, then that means he’s part of the war against Christmas.

Don’t join the war against Christmas.

Vote Obama.

Thank you.

PAD

The Last Dinosaur Extinction

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

digresssmlOriginally published January 2, 1998, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1259

Give way to your imagination, and see the prehistory of man. See our ancestors in the hunt, pursuing some great beast whose remains can only be viewed now as a wired together skeleton at the Museum of Natural History.

The beast struggles, trying to flee from its oppressors. It is large and mighty, and they are small and puny. But there are many of them, and they swarm all over him. He wonders in the back of his primitive, peanut-sized brain what he could possibly have done to offend them, and perhaps he even tries to determine what he might have done to deserve this. He was minding his own business, and suddenly they were upon him, bringing him down, howling and cackling while onlookers cheered.

It is a primitive, awful spectacle, and we can only pat ourselves on the back and be cheered over how far we’ve come since then…

Continue Reading “The Last Dinosaur Extinction” →

A brilliant safety measure for con attendees w/children

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

As my nine year old daughter gets older, she craves more freedom at conventions. Even large ones like Dragon*Con. If she needs to go to the rest room and it’s across the hall, she doesn’t want to feel she needs to be escorted. If I’ve a table in artist’s alley, which is a completely contained area with guards at the exits, she wants to be able to walk around without my holding her hand. Think of it as monitored independence.

But she thinks ahead.

When we were getting her her badge for Dragon*Con, she insisted on a name other than her own on the badge. Not a gaming or character name, but just a simple, ordinary girl’s name that wasn’t hers.

“Why?” said my wife.

“Because,” replied my daughter, “if I’m walking around and someone runs up to me and tells me you sent them, and they call me by the fake name on the badge, I know they’re bad people.”

I think that’s freaking brilliant for ANY parent who has a youngster of any age at the convention. The broader rule is that dressing your kids in clothing that has their name on it is a risky proposition. But convention badges is another good place to avoid ID’ing your child or, even better, mis-IDing her to red flag anyone with bad intentions.

PAD