Originally published May 9, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1225
Well, it’s time to announce the results of the little contest we had at “But I Digress,” namely the Super-bizarre fight and amalgam universe contest.
For those who came in late (as they always say in The Phantom), we decided to sponsor a little competition in which people could put forward the sort of match-ups that weren’t especially suited to the famed “Marvel vs. DC.” In addition, you were all invited to submit concepts for particularly odd Amalgams.
I learned, after the fact, that Tony Isabella had done something similar some months ago in his column. Whoops. Now, of course, I could have just scuttled the idea, but we got so many nifty entries that I felt it’d be a waste of effort on the part of all concerned if we did that.
So here’s a cross-section of some of the entries we received. Comments in italics are mine.
From: Krista M., Hyde Park NY:
Hans and J’onzz
From: Michael R., Vancouver, WA
1) Turok – Son of Flintstone vs. Tom and Jerry Lewis
2) Zane Greystoke vs. Tarzandar
3) Colt 45 Where are you? in The land of the Dell Giants
4)Tin Tin & Rin Tin Tin vs. Huckleberry Hound of the Baskervilles
5) Terry and the Pirates of Darkwater vs. Raggedy Ann and Andy Panda
6) George of the Jungle and Jim vs. Leave it to Binky Beaver
7) Mighty Mickey Mouse vs. Krazy Felix the Kat
8 ) Brer Oswald the Rabbit vs. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. Scrooge
From: Jeffrey P., St Charles, MO
Magnus Robot Fighter vs. The Robot from Lost in Space
From: Jack G., Bellevue, NE
1) Cry for Dondi vs. Queen of the West: Dale Avengelyne
2) Our Barney at War vs. The Captain and the Kids
From: Robertson, Des Moines, IA
1) Blue Beetle Bailey
2) Captain Atom Ant
3) Sgt. Rockey and Bullwinkle
4) News Boy Legion of Superheroes
5) Kid Flash Gordon
6) Incredible Hulk Hogan’s Heroes
From: Nelson J., Stamford, CT
Battles:
1) Sabrina vs. Witchblade
2) Concrete vs. Herculoids
3) Space Ghost vs. Ghostly Trio
4) E – Man vs. Mr. A
Bizarre Combos:
1) Sgt. Rocketeer
2) Plastic Mandrake
3) Gigan Thor
Real Weird:
1) Deepspace 9 ½ Weeks
2) Lobo Derek
3) ELVISION (Robot that walks like a king)
From: Thomas H., Tarzana, CA
1) Cosmo Kramer the merry Martian
2) Terry and the Pirates of the Caribbean
And, one of my personal favorites:
3) Betty and Verotika
From: Robert L., Norwich, CT
Aliens vs. X-Men
Actually, I think Marvel did that about ten years or so ago, except the aliens were called “The Brood” at the time. Still… one wonders why Marvel and Dark Horse doesn’t produce an official crossover. It’d be like printing money.
From: D. Ginsberg, Oak Park, IL
1) Vizarch Comics present Archie ½
2) Harvey Pekar fights censorship in My Tropic of Cancer Year
3) Jimmy Buffet takes on 2 tough girls in the 90’s in : Strange Cheeseburgers in Paradise
4) Powerful super heroes fighting cat shaped Nazi’s in WWII in Miracle Maus.
Brian M., Tampa, FL
1) The Flash vs. Speedy Gonzalez
2) Ghost riders vs. Casper & Nightmare
3) Mighty Mouse vs. Streaky the Supercat
4) The Demon vs. Hot Stuff
5) Archie & Jughead vs. Beavis & Bûŧŧhëád
(The Archie/Jughead/Beavis/Bûŧŧhëád one actually gives me chills.)
6) Swamp Thing vs. Pogo
7) Hawkman vs. Woody Woodpecker
8 ) Brother Power, The Geek vs. Raggedy Ann
9) Little Lotta vs. Jabba the Hutt (a battle more in the nature of a pie-eating contest)
Amalgamated Characters:
1) The Black Pink Panther vs. The Silver Smurfer
2) Blonde Phantom Stranger vs. Phantom Lady and the Tramp
3) Mr. Weatherbeetle Bailey vs. Miss Solomon Grundy
4) Fantastic Forever People vs. Dr. Doom Patrol
5) Ren & the Stimpsons vs. Josie and the Snagglepussycats
6) Howard the Daffy Duck vs. Fritz the Krazy Katwoman
From: Shawn S., Darien, IL
1) Strangers in Paradise Lost
2) Bio Booster Armor MacGuyver
3) Sin City Slickers
4) Man From Atlantis Chronicles
5) Gunsmith Cats (The Musical)
6) Box Office Poison Elves
7) Two Gun Kid Eternity
8 ) Hi and Lois Lane- Superman’s Girlfriend
9) Mister Miracle Worker
10) The Savage Dragon Ball Z
11) Lady Death of a Salesman
12) Stray Bullets Over Broadway
13) Road Warrior Nun Areala
Some of the above really wandered away from the notion of dealing with individuals (Stray Bullets Over Broadway, for instance) but they were loopy enough that I opted to include them.
From: Donald G., Springfield, VA
Team-ups
1) Whisper & Black Belt
2) Bullseye & The Target
3) Deadman & Lady Death
4) Ash & The Human Torch
5) Solitaire & Solo
6) Donald Duck & Howard the Duck
7) Badrock & Concrete
8 ) Tommy Tomorrow & the Eternal Warrior
9) Captain Carrot & Bugs Bunny
10) Dollman & Barbie
11) Vampirella & Elvira
12) Iceman & The Melter
13) Bart Simpson & Dennis the Menace
14) Claire Voyant & Prophet
15). Ren & Stimpy & Itchy & Scratchy
16) Razor & Blade the Vampire Hunter
17) Frank Castle & The Rook
18 ) Ex-Mutants & The X-Men
19) Uncle Scrooge & Richie Rich
20) Pinocchio & Woody Woodpecker
The silliness continues next week.
(Peter David, writer of stuff, can be written to at Second Age, Inc., PO Box 239, Bayport, NY 11705).
• 
Y’know, I would pay serious money to hear Elvis sing a song called “Even an Android Can Cry.”
*Watches as a pin (which he dropped a loooong time ago in another thread) finally hit the ground* Aaaahh, the wonders of cyberspace.
Further random information.
1 Vivaldi is not music, it is torture by notes.
2 Sambal is not food, it is a weapon of mass destruction. (If you don’t believe me, wait until the family dinner and spike the food with the stuff.)
3 Xerox machines are actually aliens from the planet Xe’rO X, an icy world in Sector 221-F. They are the real reason the Thallonian Empire fell. (They ate all the accountants, causing the Empire to go broke and collapse.)
The weird thing is that at least three of them really happened :
Aliens vs. X-Men
The Flash vs Speedy Gonzales (in Superman vs Bugs Bunny)
The Swamp Thing vs Pogo (sort of in Swamp Thing Saga by Alan Moore).
And in Tiny Titans/Little Archie we found that miss Solomon is married with Solomon Grundy.
“Swamp Thing vs. Pogo”
Not a vs, but they did have a crossover of sorts early in Moore’s run. Good issue.
I still have my drawing of Marvin the Martian Manhunter.
How about Disney’s Pluto meeting Sailor Pluto?
And, I know it isn’t quite the same thing, but ever since Disney bought Marvel, I’ve wanted to see a crossover between X-Men and Gargoyles.
For that matter, Gargoyles with Marvel ANYONE would drive me to weep tears of joy. Hëll, just give me more Gargoyles comics, please!
Agreed about Gargoyles! It remained the best-ever American animated series until the crown was finally taken by Avatar: The Last Airbender (the jury’s still out on The Legend of Korra for now, but it looks great so far). Better than the Batman Animated Series and its spinoffs (even Justice League Unlimited which was the best of those), Static Shock!, etc. (though I dearly miss Dwayne McDuffie).
Disney XD started the cycle back over in their wee-hours-of-the-morning showing a couple weeks ago, so I have my DVR set to grab them for me. It’s awesome to be able to watch the series from the beginning in order again. They just finished up the “City of Stone” four-parter, one of the best stories ever told in animation.
My own submission for the crossover contest which (IIRC) was sent to CBG but not in reply to PAD’s contest, was:
• Animal Man (as written by Grant Morrison) vs. She-Hulk (as written by John Byrne)
Why those two? Their powers are nothing alike, after all!
Because they were the only superheroes in their respective universes / continuities who were written to be aware that they were comic book characters! (DC did have a villain at the time with “comics awareness,” namely, the Psycho Pirate.)
Just imagine the banter between the two!
Actually, wasn’t there a character with “Comics Awareness” at the end of PAD’s run on Captain Marvel?