At least this one I had answers to.
Caroline’s female cat, Fig, is about eight months old. This morning Caroline came down to my office and said, “I’m worried about Fig.” I said, “Why?” She said, “Fig is making weird yowling sounds and lying on the floor with her front down and her butt in the air. Why is her butt in the air?”
One fifteen minute introduction to the concept of “in heat” later…
PAD
My eldest daughter, Shana, turns thirty today. Those of you who remember my carrying her around in an infant backpack at conventions can feel suitably old now.
PAD
Originally published February 17, 1995, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1109
I go to movies for any number of reasons—indeed, probably for the same reasons that you go.
Because it’s got someone in it I like.
Because the director or (in very rare instances) the writer is someone whose work I enjoy.
Because the subject matter is of interest.
Because the trailer looked good. (Here’s a general rule of thumb: If the trailer’s entertaining, you have a 50/50 shot at a good film. If the trailer’s lousy, you have almost zero chance of a worthwhile movie.)
Because it got good word of mouth.
Because someone I know is in it.
Because it’s there.
Because the kids wanted to see it.
Up until recently, that was pretty much all of them. But now I’ve got a brand new reason.
Social observation. Going to a film in order to watch, not the movie, but the audience reaction.
And it was because of the latter two reasons that I actually found myself at a local box office saying five words that I never thought I’d hear myself say:
“Two for Dumb and Dumber.”
By the time you’re raising your fourth child, you’d think that you’d be prepared for any question your child might toss at you.
Out of the blue today, Caroline–all of age eight–said, “Daddy? If a girl kicks a boy in the nuts, is that cliche or just awkward?”
I had no answer for that.
PAD
Originally published February 10, 1995, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1108
Long ago, in a industry far, far away…
Chapter 6:
…As the
Distributor
Alliance witnessed the
creation of the Death World and the
imminent collapse of the direct market, there
was—unbeknownst to anyone—something new waiting in the
wings. The Last of the Jepi Knights, young Loot Streetwalker, was
being trained by Jepi Master Coda in the ways of the Sales Force, not realizing
his imminent call to arms… .
When Republican Senator Jon Kyl asserted that ninety percent of Planned Parenthood’s activities centered around abortion, rather than the more accurate three percent, his office asserted that his statement was “not intended to be a factual statement.” My question is: How did they say that with a straight face? Did they really think that would justify such outrageous distortions to any but the most devoted, blindered right wing excuse-nik?
If Obama’s people claimed that the President had said something that was “not intended to be a factual statement,” it would define his presidency the way that, “It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is” defined Clinton’s.
Last I checked, something not intended to be a factual statement is typically referred to as a “lie.” This does, however, serve as a convenient excuse for any horndog who’s willing to say whatever it takes to nail a girl. “You said you loved me!” “Yes, but that was not intended to be a factual statement.”
PAD
Originally published February 3, 1995, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1107
Long ago, in an industry far, far away…
Chapter 5:
…On the run
from the machin-
ations of the Comic Empire
and its new weapon, The Death
World, the Distributor Alliance has been
Arguing in its secret base of Norleens over what
action it should take. In the midst of their debate with the
Rebel Retailers, members of the Alliance are alarmed to learn
that Comic Empire representative Marv Vader has arrived and will
show up at any moment… ..
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