Ariel Needs Help on a Paper for College

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

And I figure you guys are the sort who will take up this challenge. Here it is:

What are the best reasons for a girl to date a guy who’s an SF/Comic Geek?

PAD

67 comments on “Ariel Needs Help on a Paper for College”

  1. From my perspective, the best reason to date a geek is that he doesn’t make fun of my OWN geekdom, he’ll go to conventions with me, and of course he bought all those issues of Fallen Angel I needed to read. ^_^

    Seriously, though, I’ve found that geeky guys tend, on the whole, to be sensitive, intelligent and creative, all very valuable traits in a partner.

  3. Well, this could be good and bad, but he will certainly be attached to you. Geeks tend to REALLY like girls.

  4. Jeez… That’s actually a tough one. When you start thinking up ideas you realize that you’re making broad brush generalizations and that you can find exceptions to those generalizations within geek fandom.
    .
    But, generalizing a bit…
    .
    Depending on the genre interests of the geek he may be more likely to be the type of guy who has no issues with treating a woman as an equal in a relationship. There’s a good chunk of SF and fantasy that has always had the dynamic of men and women being equal. It used to be that you noticed that attitude a bit more in some geek circles. These days it’s not quite as noticeable as a defining difference since the idea itself has become a bit more of a societal norm.
    .
    If you’re a left leaning or progressive woman I would think the odds of finding a like minded boyfriend would be improved by looking at geek circles. Yeah, there are conservatives and even extreme right conservatives in fandom, but most of the individuals I encounter in SF and fantasy circles range from slightly left of center to bed wetting libs. That certainly seems more true in the Trek circles since so much of the Trek mindset is about accepting diversity in all it’s many forms.
    .
    Some level of intelligence is guaranteed depending on the favorite reading and viewing materials of the geek in question. A lot of good SF and fantasy is political and historical matters from the real world disguised in alien skins. The geeks that really like to get into their stuff will sometimes study and learn (even if initially by accident) this stuff and actually become more aware of real world geopolitical and socio political matters.
    .
    I’d like to think that we’re better conversationalists.
    .
    Ðámņ. I’m actually stumped beyond that right now. Like I said, for every generalization you can think of that’s a plus, you can think of geeks out there that are the exact opposite. Add in the fact that society itself has become a bit more progressive and things that would have stuck out in stark contrast when comparing geekdom as a whole to “normal” society for me 25 years ago are less different these days. Well, that and, as a straight guy, I’m not really sure what makes other guys attractive as potential mates. Maybe I should get my wife working on this one.
    .
    Oh, wait! There is also the really old geek stereotype to point to. He’ll be less likely to dump you for another girl because he’s just so dámņëd grateful you gave him a tumble in the first place.
    .
    🙂
    .
    Not sure that’s a really great one for a paper though…

  5. Cheap date. Just pop in a DVD season set of your sci-fi show du jour and you’re set for at least 4 or 5 dates.

  6. Huh. You want the ones I give? Beware, these aren’t generalizations of fandom, since we all know some “extreme” cases, just some of the good examples.

    1) We generally have a decent sense of humor about ourselves, especially the Britcom geeks. (Unless they quibble over the terms “Trekkie” and “Trekker”, in which case, stay away!)

    2) We tend to be more well-read and open minded.

    3) Our vocabularies usually entail more than “Go Steelers!” and “Make me a sammich”

    4) We’re usually so darned happy, amazed and appreciative when we find a girl than can appreciate, understand, tolerate, and/or join in our quirks that we devote massive amounts of time demonstrating just how lucky we are to have them in our lives, making ridiculously silly romantic gestures here and there.

    5) You may even land one who goes a step further and lavishes praise and declarations of love upon you in any media he writes, and on his open-forum blog every chance he gets. (Of course, this last example may cause daughters to gag comically at the dinner table)

  7. Do I have to send you to youtube to watch the scene with Betty Childs and Louis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds (part 1) in the funhouse?? I mean REALLY! It’s self evident. 😉

  8. http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/womens/5c8f/

    In general, we’re smart, which is a big plus. We often make good salaries. There’s a higher percentage of men who realize women are fellow humans and treat them with respect, rather than pleasure and cooked meal factories. (Alas, I’ve still met counterexamples.) We have a strong sense of fun and humor.

    Plus, if the woman is geeky too, the guy will know what a treasure he has. I’m pretty comfortable saying that geek guys cheat less (again, alas, not never), and appreciate what they’ve got more.

    We’re also, as a culture, open to diversity, generally more liberal than average, less racist, less anti-gay – the only real sin in geek culture is to be boring. It’s also a remarkably consistent culture; I just moved from Seattle to Fairfax, Virginia, and the people I work with are exactly the same (despite the larger culture of Seattle and Virginia being not the same at all.)

    Plus, we’ll always fix your computer.

  10. Yes…Wife of Jerry Chandler

    Well for me the number one thing is the listening factor. Geeks actually “listen”, with their ears, hearts and minds. I don’t mean the nod their heads and make you feel like they’re listening, but the listens so well that later on they show up (may be an hour may be 3 weeks) with exactly what you needed (sometimes you didn’t even know you needed it).

    Geeks tend not to be as sensitive about you “threatening their manhood”. As in: geeks tend to be smarter, but are not threatened if you are smarter then they are or at least hide it really well.

    Due in a large part to SF artist like Frazetta, geeks tend to appreciate a real woman more than your average hollywood actress/model. Most SF guys I’ve been around prefer a woman with curves and you frankly can’t have good curves without a healthy bit of flesh on you. Let’s face it…you don’t have a butt if your anorexic.

    And yes…geeks are much more willing to put up with your collections and interests because of their own. Poor Jerry has to put up with yards of fabric everywhere because I’m a quilter.

    Oh…and the most important for long term happiness…they are better lovers. I mean in the sense that they want to please you and know that it means a lot more than the time you spend in bed. It means all the romancing before you even get close to the bedroom. The candle light dinners, evening of pampering and flowers.

    1. Don’t quit now, Jenn! Eventually all the fabric will resemble something useful like a teddy bear or a tablecloth or a quilt—

      Oh, you said “quilter” and not “quitter”? Oh. Well, don’t put “reading comprehension” on the list of geekvantages.

      Rampant punning, on the other hand, and the willingness to make yourself look silly for a laugh, those stay on.

  11. 1. He’ll make you laugh. Good enough for Jessica rabbit.

    2. He’ll put up with your nuttiest friends. Geeks have a high tolerance for eccentricities. Glass houses and all.

    3. You are unlikely to become a football widow.

    4. Will not get in a snit if you want a night out with the girls–will take advantage of this opportunity to sneak in a night of D&D with the boys.

    5. Sees himself as the hero of his own story. Exposure to heroic fiction has given him a sense of right and wrong. Won’t cheat on you. Even if he gets the opportunity. Which he won’t.

    6. Sticks around when hard times come. Not a fair weather friend.

    7. Long term–makes an excellent dad.

    8. Probably has 3 or 4 excellent zombie plans. Oh sure, they laugh now, but what do you think is going to happen to that girlfriend of yours who’s dating the lawyer? Is he going to negotiate with the living dead? Get a restraining order?

    1. Three or four? Bill, remind me not to let THIS guy into our stronghold. I come up with three or four ways to dispose of zombies while I eat breakfast. But, then, I DO work in television…

  12. It’s a pretty weird question, though, in that it sounds to me like it only makes sense in a context of “despite what you may think”. I mean, you never head anybody ask the question “what are the best reasons to date someone rich and attractive?”

    (Also, is it “the best reason to seek one out” or “the best reason not to reject one out of hand”?)

  13. I’ve found them to be markedly less arrogant than more “ordinary” guys. Usually have a better sense of humor, too. I’m having a bit of trouble answering this one, as I’M the geek and my HUSBAND’S the ordinary guy. 🙂

    Truthfully, though, geeks tend to be more passionate about life. When you have a hobby that you’re really, really into, you’re more interesting. You have this thing that makes you happy and you want to share it with others, and most geeks I know are generous, funny, smart and generally very trustworthy. And DEFINITELY loyal to a fault.

  15. Sci Fi geeks make great boyfriends because they tend to be intelligent, creative and good people. Sci fi usually requires the first two traits, and the goodness comes from being slightly different and being more sensitive to others. They are usually interested in learning and are people with a lot of interesting things to say.

  17. I’m going to chime in with agreement on the good conversation/good listener points. Another good reason to date a geek is that when geeks play games, they’re computer games, role playing games or that sort of thing instead of the destructive and manipulative ‘games people play’ you get from non-geeks.

  18. I would have to agree that geeks tend to be more intelligent as a rule. In addition they usually have a great sense of humor. Since many geeks were teased mercilessly in high school, they tend to be more down to earth, sensitive, and humble. And best of all… at least for me, my inner child tends to run the place. For someone to be into sci fi, you definately have to have a sense of wimsy and a very active inner child, so that’s a good match for me! My neices used to describe me as “not an adult, but rather a big kid who can drive”. My husband, a fan, is exactly the same way.

  19. While it varies based on both on the area of geekdom (comics, sci-fi, anime, gaming) and degree of intensity (“I enjoy STAR TREK” vs. “I can name every key grip from every TREK series and movie”), I’d say one of the biggest advantages is creativity. Someone who can articulate why a speed force is so common, or how trans-lightspeed travel would affect exploration of space, is probably more interesting than the usual “My favorite [band/sports franchise/political party] rocks!” Plus if the geek is male, the gratitude factor is ENORMOUS!

    Incidentally, are you *sure* this is for a paper, PAD, or is it possible Ariel is considering dating a geek (or considering promoting herself as a datable geek, if applicable)?

  20. He probably will have had very few opportunities to have picked up any sexually transmitted diseases.

    Demographically (and yes, of course I have data and charts, although they’re a bit dated– look, a pun) they earn more.

  21. Only one reason huh?
    Are differentiating between the various shades of geeks, or just lumping us all together?

    Because, if we’re talking moderate geeks – the ones who can make it through college & hold down a 9-5 (or 7-6) – lets go with intelligence. If you’re into brains (and self control – because, let’s face it, balance is tough), go with a geek.

    If we’re talking the other kind – the lives in the basement of a relative kind (yes, they DO exist) – then there really isn’t a good reason.

  23. Being a comic book geek (and a bit of a sci-fi geek), here are some valid (and some not so valid) reasons…

    1) By definition, geeks tend to be smart about things. A lot of things. That information can be at your fingertips… well, or whatever part of the anatomy you use to communicate.
    2) Geeks can be very understanding about doing things a different way – so if you want to try something new, you may have a shot here.
    3) Not too often are geeks demanding and insistent. As opposed to your standard jock: “We’re going to the bar to watch the game, and then my buddies will be coming back to your place. So you have to have food ready, and plenty of beer too.”
    4) Geek quote: “Vampire movie? COOL!”
    5) Knowing that we are not the “high end” product makes us much more grateful and generous. (Well, provided we make the money…)
    6) We make the money. IT guys – BIG salaries. Warehouse workers – not so big salaries.

    Hope this helps!

    I remain,
    Sincerely,
    Eric L. Sofer
    x<]:o){
    The Bad Clown

  24. A couple of classics:

    Girl’s Guide To Geek Boys: http://www.completeevil.com/geek.html

    Guy’s Guide to Geek Girls: http://cs.wheatoncollege.edu/~lmichaud/pathways/humor/GuideToGeekGirls.html

    So far unmentioned is “Because they have books/comics/DVDs/whatever in their collection I’ve not read/seen yet”.

    On the other hand, there’s the classic line dating back to when MIT was predominantly male that supposedly circulated among women at neighboring schools; “The odds are good, but the goods are odd”.

  28. I’ll second a lot of the things that have already been mentioned: they tend to be more intelligent, open-minded/tolerant, and appreciative of women with normal bodies (although that doesn’t necessarily stop them from gawking at the costumed babes at cons…*ahem*). By and large, I would have to say that the sci-fi/comic geeks are more likely to love a woman for who she is rather than how she looks, dresses, or what she does for a living. There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but from my experience, these guys are far more likely to form and maintain a relationship based on a real, personal connection than their “regular” peers.

    For me personally, I finally had someone to talk to about the things that I like and enjoy in comics and sci-fi…someone who could didn’t make fun of my love of The Tick, who could relate 100% to the fact that my first imaginary friends were Peter Parker and Spider-man (I carried them in my pocket), and didn’t mind that I was raised on a steady diet of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, old Tarzan movies, Full Moon Entertainment productions, Doctor Who, Star Trek, and MST3K. The fact that I have access to all of his comics as well as my own is a bonus!

  30. To answer your question it’s for my Effective Communications class AKA Public Speaking. This is our second speech my first was on a word from the dictionary or our choosing, I chose normal. It was awesome and I was called a “character.” This one should be a little more fun it’s persuasive on why our plan/idea about the opposite sex is best.

    Thank you so much everyone!! Its actually helping alot.

    1. Isn’t college all kinds of awesome? I have 3 kids in school right now and it’s wonderful to see them exploring new ideas and expanding their talents.
      .
      Treasure the time. They had to drag me from college kicking and screaming, my fingers leaving comical little ditches in the concrete.

  31. Reluctant as I am to acknowledge that PAD has a family (He disapproves of it…except when he doesn’t: This has been discussed elsewhere), the best reasons to date a comics geek are two: He’s reading SOMETHING, which many people do not; and he is exercising his imagination, which hardly any at all do. It’s not enough to read just comics, but it’s probably a baseless canard to suggest that is the case with comics geeks. Date the right kind. No one characteristic is enough.

  33. there are levels of geekdom

    and some of us delude ourselves by believing

    that in the land of the blind,the one eyed man is king

  34. “What are the best reasons for a girl to date a guy who’s an SF/Comic Geek?”

    1. Usually of above average intelligence

    2. Plenty to discuss with them

    3. Probably won’t force you to watch sporting events on TV

    4. More accepting of your own weird interests/habits

    5. May eventually become a famous writer

  35. They typically think with their heads instead of their belowdecks. They’re usually fairly inexperienced (moldable!) and pressure-free, which parents instinctively know and instantly like. They care about their ladies and would do anything for them. They are also quite grateful. Oh, and brilliant. Typically quite smart. And (wink) they know what Space Cases is, sometimes, which is definitely a seller for me (I’m marrying another SC fan next summer).

  36. I’ve resolved to only ever date geeks after my last few geek boyfriends. The biggest advantage I’ve found is in the fact that, even if it doesn’t work and you break up, a geeky guy will still want to be your friend. All of the nerds I’ve dated I’m still in touch with, hëll, I even live with one of my exes. Because we have shared interests and both are reasonable people, despite the fact that we used to see each other in the nude, we get along about 95% of the time and tolerate each other enough to live together. If you date a geek it’s likely that he’ll want to keep you in his life, in whatever capacity, because chances are he isn’t all about drama bûllšhìŧ that it seems like so many other guys are.

  37. Having dated both geeks and non-geeks, I’d pick a geek anytime!

    Geeks (most but not all) tend to be caring and intelligent guys. They’re always reading or watching or building something of interest. I’ve been on first dates where we run out of things to talk about in 5 minutes, but this has never happened with a nerd. Also, they tend to know what it is like to have your feelings squashed, and they are more sensitive to others.

    Also, this is kind of feeding into a stereotype, but nerd boys are grateful, and they are interested in a “real” woman over a supermodel. I would consider myself a pretty average girl, but I was at a convention in Denver last weekend where I was hit on by at least 6 guys while just walking around. My boyfriend could not stop laughing after the fourth time it happened on Saturday.

    Also, nerd boys will agree to do things with you that others just won’t. My boyfriend has gone with me to Drag Queen shows, art museums, the symphony, clothes shopping, etc., all of which is stuff I could never get some others to do. Although, you must remember that these things come around when he wants to go to the comic book store in a new town in case the selection is better (come to think of it, I dropped $30 at MileHiComics and I don’t think he bought anything!)

    All in all, I’ve found geeks to be caring, intelligent men who care about who you are as a person over outer appearances. Although I might be biased as I am a total nerd girl.

  38. Bill, I always liked a comment made by noted hacker Richard Stallman: (from memory) “Harvard has a very strange policy. If you pass too many classes, they kick you out.”

    1. Yeah, what up with that? I was a GREAT college student. Why could THAT not have been a valid career choice?

      1. Hey, for some people it is! I went to the same college as both my sisters, though not at the same time. My last year there I was in a class and a club as a guy that my oldest sister was in college with.

        Oh, and she went to that college twelve years before I did, did I not mention that?

  39. Wow, some pretty deep stuff, I was gonna say there’s always something to read in the bathroom.

  40. I suppose those are all good reasons. I know they are valid because people who are SF/Comic geeks wrote them.

    So the only thing I can add to that is that given the fact that SF/Comic storylines, concepts and themes are related to things that aren’t proven reality those who are interested in such things are also more likely to be open minded about such concepts as well as more open in general.

    I have found that my geek friends have always been more tolerant of others and as you have to accept people of other planetary backgrounds to be a geek how could you manage to be racist in real life.

  41. I agree with virtually everything that’s been said so far, in spades. I would also add, all from personal experience:

    — when your significant other is a geek, he/she won’t object when you want to have “The Rainbow Connection” and the MST3K love theme as your wedding recessional music.

    — when your significant other is a geek, there are never complaints about the other person having too many books. Teasing about paying to move a box of rocks, yes; complaining about books, no.

    — They’ll buy you great accessories (ties, in my case) that you can use in the workplace to demonstrate your geekitude.

    — Exceedingly geeky offspring.

    TWL

    1. Good point there too.. My wife loves Disney and as we walked down the aisle to leave the church after our wedding ceremony we played When you Wish Upon a Star which then blended into the very toonish Steamboat Willie music.

      and furthermore she wore a Lord of the Rings Arwen Evenstar pendant with matching earings and I wore Decepticon cufflinks. It was awesome.

      1. We walked down the aisle to both an Alice Cooper instrumental and the two little girl singers from Mothra. Our Wedding cake had Godzilla wearing a top hat and Mothra holding a bouquet. It was held at a Chinese restaurant and the cake would make the Godzilla roar whenever anyone walked by it. All of this was HER idea. I love her lots.

  43. I guess Geeks are good because they’re almost never macho jerks. Sometimes they might be other types of jerks, but at least they’re not macho.

    But if Ariel is looking for a reason why SHE should date a Geek, it’s because he would be so in awe of who her Dad is that he would do anything to please her (and by pleasing her, please her Dad).
    But this wouldn’t apply to the typical girl dating a Geek.

  44. Ariel is Peter’s daughter, right? I’m still new here, and I’m not certain I have all the facts about who’s who.

    1. Welcome, Mary Warner! For a quick rundown of who’s who here, let’s see…

      ARIEL is a ninja whose battle with the cyborg wombats of Yuggoth led to her going back in time and inadvertently changing the name of the star of Disney’s THE LITTLE MERMAID from Klumpwutz.

      PETER DAVID is the evil clone of David Peter and he (Peter David, not Peter, David) loves bowling, hates hatred, and dances surprisingly well.

      IOWA JIM is probably from Iowa. And he may be named Jim.

      KATHLEEN (poorly-chosen codename “Kath”) plays with puppets and is proud of it.

      Any other information will be delivered by carrier pigeon. Carried by a slightly larger carrier pigeon.

      1. Bill Myers and Bill Mulligan are the same person, which makes “their” claims of friendship so terribly sad. Ditto James and Tim Lynch, only he couldn’t even come up with a different last name. Pathetic, really. Jerry Chandler is an auburn haired super hot 18 year old female who pretends to be a middle aged guy from Chicago with a basement that smells strongly of quicklime. Micha is an anagram for Ahcim, an Arab seller of rare spices on the Israel/Lebanon border. Sean Scullian is an old fashioned girl who likes to cook and sew. Tallestfanever is actually 5’2″ but he’s really hung up about it so keep that on the down low. Eric L. Sofer, the Bad Clown, is not allowed within 100 feet of a school or playground, make of that what you will.
        .
        Basically just another typical cross section of America.

  45. Not to toot out own horn, but we’re generally smarter.

    Also, we’re very, very easy when it comes to gifts. Just figure out what we’re fans of, and you’re set for life.

  46. It’s pretty simple … The Science Fiction & Comicbook fan has all the info any human needs. We know that with great power comes great responsibility, we know the value of family, we know how to strike a killer pose when needed. We know exactly how to prepare for an alien invasion, and who else knows the outcome of being caught in a Gamma bomb blast.
    We know what BAMF and Snikt mean.
    We know just how far we are allowed to go over to the Dark Side.

    and face it, most of us have read Imzadi.

    We have had some of the greatest teachers known to man Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Gene Rodenberry, George Lucas, Harlan Ellison, Philip K. Ðìçk, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Ray Bradbury, Chris Claremont, Peter David and so many others.

    and yeah we probably are the people who are most prepared for the zombies

  47. Geeks in general tend to be better read, better informed, and better educated. Even those without formal education (ie. degrees) know a lot about a diverse set of topics.
    .
    We also tend to be more accepting of others. My weekly gaming group, for example, includes: a doctor of engineering, a home nurse, an accountant, a computer programmer, a high school drop out, a military retiree, an “office peon,” and myself. We literally span the range of formal education and yet we respect each others opinions and can carry on informed conversations all night long even if the game master doesn’t show up.
    .
    Geeks also tend to provide their own entertainment. If the first date is boring, it isn’t because he is boring. It is because he is intimidated and afraid that you’ll make fun of his hobby.
    .
    But, most importantly, geeks have (in my observation) a stronger sense of right and wrong than the average person. Objects of fandom such as Star Trek, Star Wars, Spider-Man, Batman, etc. do more than entertain, they also educate. As was mentioned, we know that “with great power comes great responsibility,” and to beware the dark side.
    .
    Theno

  48. Speaking for myself, in addition to the intelligent/sense of humor/listens when you talk/not a sports junkie thing, I’d add “has a steady job,” “owns his own home,” “has money in the bank” and “willing to participate in activities YOU enjoy.”

  49. Because we’re so happen to have someone interested in us romantically, we’ll treat you like we were Frodo and you were Galadriel.

    Example, from a letter to an advice column some years ago: The woman writing the letter said that she and some of her girlfriends had all been through rough breakups, and they decided to find some men they thought were “losers”, date them, string them along, and then dump them hard.

    The letter writer picked, for lack of better words, a fat geek. And danged if she didn’t really fall for him. He treated her like a queen, he was kind, sweet, smart, and she came to see his weight as “huggable”.

    Her question was “should I tell him the truth about why I was first interested in him?”

    The columnists reply was to the effect of, “yes, and you’d better pray to whatever gods you worship that he is far more forgiving than you deserve.”

    I’m a gay geek, and my boyfriend and I have been together nearly ten years. He’s got a few geek tendencies, but not like me. He’s developed coping skills for my geekier moments. And I can tell when he’s tuning me out.

    And…. holy cow. Ariel David is in college now? I can remember PAD proudly announcing her birth in CBG. I feel old.

  50. What are the best reasons for a girl to date a guy who’s an SF/Comic Geek?

    The best reason? She likes him.

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