Year: 2008

Glen brought this to my attention.

Fox today announced that, due to low ratings, they have canceled the World Series. The remaining games of the October classic will not be played and the Phillies will automatically be declared World Champions.

“We were as patient as we could be under the circumstances,” said Fox spokesman Don Germaine. “But the ratings for the second episode were the second lowest in World Series history. The public’s lack of interest was all too evident. Why wait for it to hit rock bottom? We felt we’d seen enough.”

“If it had been Boston versus Los Angeles, we likely wouldn’t have had this problem,” he added. “But what can you do? That’s baseball.”

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig expressed disappointment over Fox’s decision to end the series. “We’ve done everything the networks have ever wanted, including eliminating daytime play so that it could be a prime time event,” Selig said at a press conference. “It simply never occurred to us that we would then be held to the same standard as other network series, and that failure to deliver the ratings would result in our series being terminated.”

Baseball enthusiasts were enamored of the Series, mostly due to the Cinderella-esque drive by the Tampa Bay Rays who had seemed favored to win their first World Championship. Unfortunately an audience that only consisted of Philly fanatics, Floridians, and a handful of hardcore baseball fans was deemed inadequate to keep the Series alive.

“Obviously we’re disappointed in the decision to pull the plug,” said Rays manager Joe Maddon. “We were positive we were going to be able to bounce back. Sure, we lost last night’s game, but in our defense, once we got past midnight it was past the bedtime of over half the team. It was just bad luck.”

Phillies fans were overjoyed. “I was sure they were going to blow it,” said Phillies supporter Josh Langstrom. “God bless Fox.” Outside of Philadelphia and Florida, non-baseball fans expressed resounding indifference. “Were they still playing baseball?” said Chicago legal secretary Trish Piven. “I hadn’t heard anything about it.”

The presidential candidates weighed in on the decision. Barack Obama declared it a “disappointing decision. But in today’s economic environment, caused by eight years of the Bush administration’s disastrous policies, it was inevitable.” John McCain likewise expressed frustration, stating, “I was really hoping the Brooklyn Dodgers would pull this one out.”

Major League Baseball will be offering refunds for tickets on all unplayed games. Fox, in the meantime, will schedule marthon showings of the recently renewed “Sarah Connor Chronicles.” “Look, none of us here are pleased about the decision,” emphasized Germaine. “This is the fastest we’ve ever canceled a series that didn’t star Nathan Fillion.”

Fox today announced that, due to low ratings, they have canceled the World Series. The remaining games of the October classic will not be played and the Phillies will automatically be declared World Champions.

“We were as patient as we could be under the circumstances,” said Fox spokesman Don Germaine. “But the ratings for the second episode were the second lowest in World Series history. The public’s lack of interest was all too evident. Why wait for it to hit rock bottom? We felt we’d seen enough.”

“If it had been Boston versus Los Angeles, we likely wouldn’t have had this problem,” he added. “But what can you do? That’s baseball.”

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig expressed disappointment over Fox’s decision to end the series. “We’ve done everything the networks have ever wanted, including eliminating daytime play so that it could be a prime time event,” Selig said at a press conference. “It simply never occurred to us that we would then be held to the same standard as other network series, and that failure to deliver the ratings would result in our series being terminated.”

Baseball enthusiasts were enamored of the Series, mostly due to the Cinderella-esque drive by the Tampa Bay Rays who had seemed favored to win their first World Championship. Unfortunately an audience that only consisted of Philly fanatics, Floridians, and a handful of hardcore baseball fans was deemed inadequate to keep the Series alive.

“Obviously we’re disappointed in the decision to pull the plug,” said Rays manager Joe Maddon. “We were positive we were going to be able to bounce back. Sure, we lost last night’s game, but in our defense, once we got past midnight it was past the bedtime of over half the team. It was just bad luck.”

Phillies fans were overjoyed. “I was sure they were going to blow it,” said Phillies supporter Josh Langstrom. “God bless Fox.” Outside of Philadelphia and Florida, non-baseball fans expressed resounding indifference. “Were they still playing baseball?” said Chicago legal secretary Trish Piven. “I hadn’t heard anything about it.”

The presidential candidates weighed in on the decision. Barack Obama declared it a “disappointing decision. But in today’s economic environment, caused by eight years of the Bush administration’s disastrous policies, it was inevitable.” John McCain likewise expressed frustration, stating, “I was really hoping the Brooklyn Dodgers would pull this one out.”

Major League Baseball will be offering refunds for tickets on all unplayed games. Fox, in the meantime, will schedule marthon showings of the recently renewed “Sarah Connor Chronicles.” “Look, none of us here are pleased about the decision,” emphasized Germaine. “This is the fastest we’ve ever canceled a series that didn’t star Nathan Fillion.”

Long-time readers of this blog will remember that, during the writer’s strike I wound up chatting with Ron Howard for about an hour while walking the picket line (even gave him a newly minted galley copy of “Tigerheart.”) We didn’t discuss politics all that much, although he did make “Frost/Nixon” sound interesting (and the trailer I just saw the other day made it a must-see if it wasn’t already). Recently he put up an ad for Obama featuring him, Andy Griffith and a convention friend of the David family, Henry Winkler, that I thought was an absolute must-see. So see it.

PAD

Back in July, the David family had breakfast during Shore Leave convention with George Takei and Brad Altman, and naturally we discussed the upcoming wedding. They were talking about how they’d had to whittle the invite list from several thousand to two hundred. And I had to ask the question that I”m sure you would have asked: “Are you inviting Shatner?”

“Yes,” said Brad, nodding firmly, and George agreed, adding, “I think it’s time to let the past go.” They could not have been more definitive: the olive branch was being extended, bygones allowed to be bygones, hatchets being buried and every other cliche you’d care to roll out.

The result? The invite, which was sent to Shatner’s manager, was never forwarded to Shatner for whatever reason, and now a video Shatner released in which he excoriates George is getting all kinds of media play.

“George came out. Who cares?” asks Shatner in the video. The answer to that, of course, is the opponents of gay marriage who are circulating e-mails and fliers filled with baseless scare tactics in order to try and push through Proposition 8. A Proposition that would make sure joyous days such as the one Kath and I shared with George, Brad and a couple hundred guests–which could have included William Shatner–will never occur again for anyone who’s gay in California. Those bigots, those jerks, those killjoys…they’re the ones who care, Mr. Shatner.

So that answers your questions: The questions of why George Takei didn’t invite you (he did) and who cares that George is gay (those who want to push through Prop 8). So here’s my question to you:

What are you going to do about it?

PAD

John McCain was so punchy that he got up in front of a crowd in Western Pennsylvania and accidentally said that he agreed with comments allegedly put forward by others that Western Pennsylvania is filled with racists.

And all I could picture was the Doctor standing toward the back of the rally and saying quietly to reporters within earshot, “Don’t you think he looks tired?”

PAD

When I first posted my essay on “McCainism,” noting the McCarthyesque vibe from the McCain campaign, some folks here claimed that Jon Stewart’s likening McCain to Frankenstein–inadvertently unleashing a monster he couldn’t control–was far more apt.

On last night’s “Daily Show,” Jon Stewart drew parallels between the latest speeches and comments from the McCain campaign, not to mention a mid-West congresswoman, that had a definite McCarthyesque tint to it that didn’t even involve terrorism: instead it centered around real Americans versus, you know, people like me, who live in (or near) cities and aren’t voting for McCain. You know: unAmericans.

Now to be wholly fair, I watched the full video of the Congresswoman who stated that the media should launch an investigation into who in Congress might be, y’know, unAmerican. And I tend to blame her interviewer, Chris Matthews, who basically strung together stuff that she didn’t say, acted like she said it, and then hammered her until she blurted out something stupid. She was thrashing about in the deep end and Matthews tossed her an anvil for a flotation device. Still, McCain’s team seems to be moving beyond this whole notion that there are two Americas (Linda Ellerbe pointed out that red states/blue states is entirely a media construction) and floating the notion that those who aren’t with them aren’t part of “real America.”

Apparently I’m not a real American. And if you’re not voting for John McCain, why…neither are you.

Apparently the question has been asked and answered: No sense of decency at all.

PAD