Fox today announced that, due to low ratings, they have canceled the World Series. The remaining games of the October classic will not be played and the Phillies will automatically be declared World Champions.
“We were as patient as we could be under the circumstances,” said Fox spokesman Don Germaine. “But the ratings for the second episode were the second lowest in World Series history. The public’s lack of interest was all too evident. Why wait for it to hit rock bottom? We felt we’d seen enough.”
“If it had been Boston versus Los Angeles, we likely wouldn’t have had this problem,” he added. “But what can you do? That’s baseball.”
Baseball commissioner Bud Selig expressed disappointment over Fox’s decision to end the series. “We’ve done everything the networks have ever wanted, including eliminating daytime play so that it could be a prime time event,” Selig said at a press conference. “It simply never occurred to us that we would then be held to the same standard as other network series, and that failure to deliver the ratings would result in our series being terminated.”
Baseball enthusiasts were enamored of the Series, mostly due to the Cinderella-esque drive by the Tampa Bay Rays who had seemed favored to win their first World Championship. Unfortunately an audience that only consisted of Philly fanatics, Floridians, and a handful of hardcore baseball fans was deemed inadequate to keep the Series alive.
“Obviously we’re disappointed in the decision to pull the plug,” said Rays manager Joe Maddon. “We were positive we were going to be able to bounce back. Sure, we lost last night’s game, but in our defense, once we got past midnight it was past the bedtime of over half the team. It was just bad luck.”
Phillies fans were overjoyed. “I was sure they were going to blow it,” said Phillies supporter Josh Langstrom. “God bless Fox.” Outside of Philadelphia and Florida, non-baseball fans expressed resounding indifference. “Were they still playing baseball?” said Chicago legal secretary Trish Piven. “I hadn’t heard anything about it.”
The presidential candidates weighed in on the decision. Barack Obama declared it a “disappointing decision. But in today’s economic environment, caused by eight years of the Bush administration’s disastrous policies, it was inevitable.” John McCain likewise expressed frustration, stating, “I was really hoping the Brooklyn Dodgers would pull this one out.”
Major League Baseball will be offering refunds for tickets on all unplayed games. Fox, in the meantime, will schedule marthon showings of the recently renewed “Sarah Connor Chronicles.” “Look, none of us here are pleased about the decision,” emphasized Germaine. “This is the fastest we’ve ever canceled a series that didn’t star Nathan Fillion.”
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You forgot the big news for genre fans, Peter: building on their one major success this season and use the vacated time slot to launch their two new Fringe spin-offs, Beyond the Fringe (actually a recap of the day’s major Fox News stories) and Fringe Benefits, a new reality show produced by Simon Cowell and starring various American Idol contestants crossing the country in search of heart-tugging human interest stories that could also create song lyrics for the next season of American Idol. In a related story, Dollhouse creator Joss Whedon has re-named his mid-season replacement series, Fringe Dollhouse.
That’s not to mention all the games they showed out of order. Showing the last game before the first one just killed most people’s interest.
Now, now, didn’t they cancel New Amsterdam before it even aired? Though that guy did sort of look like Nathan Fillion, except without the personality.
“Fox today announced that, due to low ratings, they have canceled the World Series. The remaining games of the October classic will not be played and the Phillies will automatically be declared World Champions.
{…}
“The presidential candidates weighed in on the decision. Barack Obama declared it a ‘disappointing decision. But in today’s economic environment, caused by eight years of the Bush administration’s disastrous policies, it was inevitable.’ John McCain likewise expressed frustration, stating, ‘I was really hoping the Brooklyn Dodgers would pull this one out.'”
Bad Man.
In so may ways.
Actually Peter, you’re giving Selig too much credit: I don’t think he knows what the word “standard” means.
Funny
I find this years series a welcome change from the New York teams.
The one thing in the whole piece that was accurate was that the second game really WAS the second lowest rated game in the history of the World Series. So it’s certainly a “change” from the NY teams; I doubt Fox sees it as “welcome,” though.
PAD
Has there been any word on whether FOX decided to delay game 6 so that they could broadcast Obama’s infomercial? Keith Olberman mentioned they were considering it because they wanted the money, but I haven’t heard anything since. I don’t even know if they can really do that or not.
The World Series? That’s started already??? Huh. It would have been nice if they advertised it a little more or a little better. Oh well, too late now. Maybe I’ll catch it when it comes out on DVD early next year. At least I can see it in the proper order that way.
It’s low ratings like this for major sporting events why many people think the NBA attempts to fix games to get major market teams in the finals.
Isn’t it funny though how it just doesn’t matter who is in the Super Bowl? Ratings are always high (with fluctuation, but still always high) regardless.
Great, now I want to know what the LOWEST rated game was.
Lowest rated series was the first game of 2006’s Cards/Tigers match-up.
PAD
,i>Isn’t it funny though how it just doesn’t matter who is in the Super Bowl? Ratings are always high (with fluctuation, but still always high) regardless.
Better ads
What were they thinking?
Proposed 10pm start time?
I know that sometimes sports events start at stupid times, but the game was delayed 90 minutes due to rain.
I see PAD had the funny going on today!
I think I speak for the Body of Phillies fans.
It’s the Red Hour! (Phillies Red, that is).
FESTIVAL!!!!FESTIVAL!!!!FESTIVAL!!!!
Mets Fans- NOT OF THE BODY!!! LAWGIVERS!!!!!
Ack! I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting out in laughter-I’ve a friend sleeping on the couch who (or is it whom?) I didn’t want to wake up.
This was hilarious, and very welcome at the end of a long day.
Thanks PAD!
The presidential candidates weighed in on the decision. Barack Obama declared it a ‘disappointing decision. But in today’s economic environment, caused by eight years of the Bush administration’s disastrous policies, it was inevitable.
Funny, but you are forgetting FOX’s other bad habit: their inability to let shows die after they have nothing else to offer.
We all know about FOX’s love for killing new shows in their infancy (remember Peter Griffin’s litany of dead FOX shows on Family Guy’s first return episode?) but the shows that do survive are forced to drag on until they are shadows of their former selves. X-Files was on 5 years too long, Married With Children was on for what seems like 40 years and The Simpsons (while still good) isn’t as quotable as it was 10 years ago (“The Frogurt is also cursed”).
With that in mind, what will the favored shows of FOX’s lineup look like in their final seasons; the 20th Season of Prison Break, the 37th season of 24, or the centennial season of American Idol?
At the risk of thread drift,
Prison Break, while initially silly but entertaining fun, ALREADY feels like it’s run about a year and a half past its “sell by” date.
This just in, Fox is hoping for a dramatic ratings spike with the surprising return of Kristen Bell as the villainous Elle to the short-stop position for Tampa Bay. Comments Heroes showrunner Tim Kring, “Well, if that ain’t gonna work for my ratings dive, how the hëll is it going to work for the World Series?” When asked for comment, Tampa Bay tersely responded, “Yeah, well, at least the quality of ball is still relatively good. Did you SEE that second season of Heroes? I mean, Jesus Christ!!”
In other Fox Broadcasting News, Seth McFarlane just got a development deal for 5 more spin-offs of Family Guy. Joy.
I think my Yanks should be given the championship since we are the entitled team !
Well, game 2 was on Thursday and it was up against CSI (I think) the #1 watched show on TV. And the game didn’t start till almost 9PM. If these games started at a reasonable time..
PAD,
Looks like you’re not the only one to come up with this idea.
From the Huffington post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/world-series-cancelled-fo_b_138429.html
In my opinion, the World Series hasn’t been “can’t miss TV” since Babe Ruth left. The show just hasn’t been the same without him.
Rick
I’m just thinking… it would be rather interesting if “Proud to be your Bud Selig”, after deciding that the game had to be a tie, and that the weather wasn’t bad enough UNTIL it was a tie, and changing baseball’s rules arbitrarily and without owner approval, if he decides that this has gone on long enough and the Phillies need to win tonight, and tells the umpires to make it happen.
The only issue that I see causing a problem with that is the revenues from advertising on Fox – and I think that their viewership drops so low after 10:00 local time that it’s not that big a concern to them.
Expect the Phillies to win on another series of unusual umpiring calls tonight. Not that I think there’s cheating in professional sports, of course… [/sarcasm off]
I remain,
Sincerely,
Eric L. Sofer
The Silver Age Fogey
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