So yes, because Ariel loves it so, I’ve been watching the opening episodes of “American Idol.” And boy oh boy, fans of “Star Wars” must have been cringing.
First there was a guy who showed up in–swear to God–Princess Leia’s slave outfit. Nowadays Carrie Fisher wouldn’t look good in it, but this guy, easily seventy, eighty pounds overweight and fairly hirstute, was just achingly awful to look upon. Paula Abdul suggested that he get his chest hair removed and, if he did, promised he’d have the chance to audition that his ensemble was precluding. To her subsequent shock, he returned after having his entire torso waxed. Did he then launch into a surprisingly, achingly heartfelt love ballad and turn the tide? Of course not. He started gyrating while singing a Spice Girls number which Simon mercifully cut short after less than two bars. Actually Cowell was probably tempted to hit a couple of bars just to blur the memory.
So who showed up later? A self-proclaimed geek who was wearing her hair in the Princess Leia buns. She didn’t make the cut either, which she promptly blamed on the fact that she was, in fact, a geek, and therefore that was the reason she was turned down. Well, no, the truth was that her voice was marginal at best, and her deportment merely served to be the final straw. But she set herself up to lose so she could blame the world for her own shortcomings. I think we all know plenty of people like this.
Don’t fans have enough of a reputation as fools and freaks without stuff like this contributing to it?
At least the creepy guy who advanced on Abdul while singing a song about stalking her (her body language–arms folded, legs crossed–conveyed just how freaked she was by him, and I can’t blame her) wasn’t wearing a Darth Vader outfit.
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