I knew there was a reason I detested Doctor Phil

Understand, I’ve never seen his program. The times that I’ve seen him on talk shows or such, there was something about him that just annoyed the crap out of me…and it’s not just because every time I see him I can’t tell if it’s him or actor Jeffrey Tambor.

But now I know why.

The big headline in the “Daily News” is that Phil “Quick Draw” McGraw was summoned by Britney Spears’ parents for help, and that he escorted their tormented daughter from the hospital where she was quite rightly dispatched. Frankly I think the intended three days couldn’t have hurt, but she departed with McGraw after a day. As I read the article, I thought, “Okay, well…maybe I was too hard on the guy. He’s reaching out to a high-profile mentally collapsing patient and perhaps–“

Then I got to the part where he’s planning filming a TV special about her which will doubtless land him huge ratings if he can get her to cooperate.

What a slimeball. What a total scuzz. What an opportunistic creeping bag of pustulence is Doctor Phil McGraw. Craig Ferguson memorably gave a monologue as to why he had no intention of making Britney Spears jokes that was by turns honest, painful and hilarious, and in the end he absolutely nailed it: This is a woman having a public mental breakdown and she needs genuine help. Ferguson, a recovering alcoholic, understood that. McGraw understands ratings and keeping his own name out there.

If McGraw said he was taking a month off from his program to try and spend time setting Spears on the road to recovery, that I could respect. But seeking merely to exploit her in order to score ratings…well, frankly, one has to wonder about the parents who sent the call out to him. If they knew that was his intent, it’s little wonder Spears is as screwed up as she is.

PAD