Year: 2007

First of a four part story. Whad’ja think?

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An irregular feature for this blog that I’m instituting here: As someone who had a name that high schoolers thought was hysterically funny for some dámņëd reason, I will occasionally take note of individuals who probably suffered more in high school than I did.

The first winner:

HUNTER PENCE.

A rookie outfielder for the Houston Astros, I think we can surmise that this is someone who never wanted to enter the armed forces, the police force, or become a commercial airline pilot, for fear of achieving the rank of “Captain.” Because that would make him (say it out loud) Captain Hunter Pence.

What the hëll were his parents thinking? Of all first names to link to a name like Pence. What, “Tup’ Pence was taken? How many times did this poor devil get called “Underpants” throughout his school career? We’ll probably never know. He may well have become an athlete just so he’d be big and strong enough to beat the crap out of kids who made fun of him.

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Investigations are apace into the blackmailing of Miss New Jersey, Amy Palumbo. When one is dealing with a scheme designed to make a beauty queen give up her crown, the obvious culprit (at least insofar as the inevitable episode of “Law and Order” will play it) would be the runner up, and that’s where police investigations are now turned. Personally, if I were a cop, I wouldn’t be grilling the runner up; I’d be talking to her friends and boyfriends. This whole thing has the stink of some chowderheaded guy who thinks he’s doing his girl friend or girlfriend a favor by setting up a situation so that she can take over the crown. Apparently the saga of a skater named Ms. Harding didn’t leave an impression as to how such schemes typically turn out.

I very much suspect that Ms. Palumbo will not be forced to resign. Why let the terrorists win? However, if she were, it wouldn’t be the worst fate. Quick, name the Miss America some years back who was forced to resign in disgrace. Right: Vanessa Williams. Now, just as quick, name the woman who took over the crown in her place. Ummm….

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Kath and I went to see “Transformers” this afternoon.

Now I was a bit old for the animated series when it first aired, so I have no particular attachment to the characters or concepts. I’m not going to get my knickers in a knot because character designs were changed or liberties were taken. I’m much more interested in the simple concept of whether I was entertained or not.

Answer: Most definitely.

Mild spoilers below…

Continue Reading “Car Toon” →

Received the following missive from Andy Schmidt, the editor who basically willed both the Madrox LS and “X-Factor” into existence:

“I’m pleased to announce that Alix and I had a son on Sunday, July 1st, 2007. His name is Cale Richard Schmidt, he weighed in at 7 lbs, 11 oz, and is purely awesome.”

Naturally I was hoping for (a) multiple births or (b) that the kid would be named Jamie. But, hey, a happy event is a happy event.

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First of a three parter guest-starring Billy Tucci’s “Shi,” with Billy contributing eleven pages of art and a flip book cover. Whad’ja think?

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Let us pause a moment to consider the patriots who founded this country, the immortal document that put forward their sentiments in words so plain and firm as to command the world’s assent, and the fact that not a single one of them felt the need to sign a fake name to it. It just wouldn’t have been the same if John Hancock had, in lieu of the moniker that would launch a thousand insurance offices, written “BEANEATER1776” large enough so fat George in England could read it without his glasses.

Happy Fourth everybody.

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