Kath and I went to see Beowulf yesterday.
Basically I thought the script (co-written by Neil Gaiman) and performances were rock solid. But I had the same problem I had with it as I did with “Polar Express” (although this is technically far superior): The animation creates an emotional wall between the viewer and the performers. Mostly it’s the eyes, I think. They just look sort of dead, not reflecting light properly. Which is fine in animation where humans are caricatured and eyes can be made oversized to compensate (witness “Incredibles.”) But when you’re watching re-creations of humans going through computer generated paces, well…Kathleen said it best. She felt as if she should have a remote control joystick in her hand to be putting the characters through their paces.
I wish this had been live action instead.
Still, I kept coming up with variations on the title:
You loved him as Chachi. Now Scott Baio is: Baiowulf
Winnie the Pooh is: Silly old Bearwulf.
From the pen of Uncle Reumus, meet: B’rerwulf
Are you lupine? Do you have a headache? Try: Bayerwulf
It’s Oktoberfest! Drink: Beerwulf
Any others?
PAD
• 
Forever and always, they’ll be there: Beowatch.
The inevitable pørņø title will be either Babewulf or Blowwulf.
Harry Belefonte signs DAY-O-Wulf?
Sorry, got nothing.
I wish they’d done it like 300–live action enhanced with CGI. The Uncanny Valley has not yet been crossed.
Ah, the Uncanny Valley problem. Having worked in video games for years, I know it well.
I think the first movie to really hit this problem was Final Fantasy: Spirits Within. They were so proud of the fact that they’d made characters that looked almost human. It never quite occurred to them that “almost human” is another way of saying “second rate humans”. Yeah, you can have a character with the voice of your favorite 70 year old actor and the body of a 20 year old action hero. But it’s not worth it, it’ll always look a little bit wrong.
Near photo-realistic animation will probably be like rotoscoping. Every few decades some version of it will pop up and people will ‘ooh’ and ‘aw’ at the neatness of the technique. Then they’ll get used to it enough to realise that it doesn’t actually look good and it will go away for awhile.
Oh, and…
Where no Klingon has gone before: Beoworf.
Then of course, there’s always…
“Therewulf. There castle.”
“Why are you talking that way?”
“I thought you wanted to.”
“No.”
“Suit yourself. I’m easy.”
PAD
The tale of an ancient Norse warrior, transposed to the Louisiana swamplands: Bayouwulf
He’s the ghost with the most: Beetlewulf!
When Neil was originally working on the script 10 years ago, he was in Los Angeles and was frequently asked what he was working on. He’s reply, ‘Beowulf’. Almost invariably the person who asked would reply, ‘Baywatch?’ So, Neil did the only sensible thing to do, wrote a short story of Beowulf as an episode of Baywatch. The name of the short story, found in Smoke and Mirrors, is:
Baywolf.
There’s something in the woods: Blairwulf.
Curse you PAD! You took my Mel Brooks one right off the top!
Okay, don’t really curse you, (gesundheit!) already.
How about where the Norse do their shipping–Bay O’ Wulf.
OR
For a whole Oliver and Co. Theme–Strayowulf.
The Bob Barker Edition–Spayowulf. (OUCH!)
That’s all for now. Have no fear, I won’t put up the alternative lifestyle one, leave that to someone else.
In a post apocalyptic world, a lone outpost of mankind is terrorized by the radioactive, genetically mutated freaks that mankind has created. Chief among them is Goredel, the Night Slayer. Then, a legendary warrior of the wastelands comes to their aid to face these beasts and free them from terror of their lives.
He is Biowolf, Warrior of the Wastelands.
Sci-Fi Saturday Nights, here I come!!!
Don’t leave out that classic Irish werewolf tale:
Bay-O’-Wolf! Blue moon, crimson blood and green clovers!
B.O.Wolf. The stinky animated feature.
Beowulf II: Desperate Beowife. After her son busts up your husband’s drinking hall, she busts up your royal marriage.
@ Jerry Chandler:
I’m pretty sure Christopher Lambert already did that one.
When I went to see it with my fiancee (and I liked the movie, a lot, except for the frame-rate issues), a guy in front of us wanted tickets to “Bo-woof”. Canine of the Danes!
Okay, I couldn’t stop myself.
New GSN Show for single warriors–Dateowulf.
For the inevitable Broadway production–Playowulf.
For when they talk about it on the news–Beowulf Blitzer.(Also works for the NFL Channel.)
For when Dr. Venkman sees Grendel leaving a trail of slime into a ballroom–Come in, Rayowulf.
Leading, obviously, to the Energizer Bunny Competition–Rayovacwulf.
For the Robin And Marion-esque sequel with Mr. Connery emerging from retirement–Greyowulf.
It being a lusty month, there’s always Mayowulf.
At least, that’s what I heard from that old Nordic DJ, Beowulfman Jack.
He thought he’d be greeted as a liberator after destroying Grendel, but BeoWolfowitz found out otherwise.
Done for now.
TWL
I wrote Animaniacs comics for DC several years ago, and did “Brainwulf.” His sidekick was Pinknarf.
Okay, Norse Hero with a lot of patience and time for crocheting–Bideowulf.
There’s lycanthrope hiding in my head somewhere, I just have to find it.
Bideowulf? Better than Bidetowulf, I suppose…
TWL
And let’s not forget the spin-off mystery series with Beowulf’s fiddle-playing cousin: Nerowulf.
Few know that the time travel sequence for First Contact originally went further back.
The working title? Borgwolf
Umm.. that was Borgwulf… Dang typos
Of course there was always the fabulous Andrew Sisters song: Boogie Woogie Buglewulf of Company B
He battles against bad food, bad accommodations and bad vacations!!! He is — Burtowulf!!!!
From that famous sitcom carton, the Wulfs.
“I’m Bartwulf, who the hëll are you?”
and from the Frank Miller comic:
“What Are You Dense? Are You Retarded Or Something? Who The Hëll Do You Think I Am? I’M THE GØÐÐÃMN BATWULF.”
Beowulf’s Pottsylvanian descendant, Boris Badenulf, is often portrayed as one of History’s great disappointments, failing to recover jet fuel formula from Moose & Grendel.
Enroll now to start your training for an exciting career in Beo-Tech.
When a sword isn’t enough the warrior hops in a souped up helicopter and faces Grendel as Airwulf.
Or…
Master Chief falls to the Covenant forces and Earth revives a champion from an age long ago…
Halowulf.
When a sword isn’t enough the warrior hops in a souped up helicopter and faces Grendel as Airwulf.
Or…
Master Chief falls to the Covenant forces and Earth revives a champion from an age long ago…
Halowulf.
I remarked on this as far back as my SFPA review of The Dark Crystal, and again in reviewing Labyrinth – the characters with the most “human” faces in the Henson films are the least successful visually – Jed, Kira and Hoggle all look human enough that we expect human levels of expressiveness from them, and don’t get it.
Monster House is 100% motion-capture, and, while i haven’t watched it all the way through, seems to pretty well avoid the problem by going for a “cartoony” style.
(There’s an end-credit on Ratatouille that proudly asserts that it is “100% animated” – that no motion capture or other shortcuts were used.)
The winner of alot of auctions: Ebaywulf or buyerwulf.
@Christine, wouldn’t a Norse battle with the Borg be Beowulf 359?
What’s that howling? Oh no- it’s Weowulf!
He’s the ultimate mercenary: Payawulf.
The hero who’s also a condiment: Mayowulf
The hero who really gets around with the ladies: Playawulf.
Keanu Reaves is: Neowulf.
Currently being tested: Betawulf.
The Canadian legend: Baconwulf.
He’s got the rhythm: Bossawulf.
Ought to get Beo-Wolf Blitzer from CNN to interview Zemeckis.
Spaghettios from Chef Boyarwulf?
I was watching a program on video games on Discover Channel. They said one problem with near realistic people on video is that humans seem to an innate replusion to near-human faces.
Surprisingly, I don’t have anything to add to this shtick, but I did want to say that I enjoyed Beowulf, although I didn’t really like the changes to the story with Grendel’s mother tempting him and him taking it.
Was anyone else creeped out by Grendel? Man, to me, Grendel was one of the scariest, creepiest things I’ve seen in movies in a long time. I mean, his screaming along was bad, but the way he looked, just topped it off.
Did anyone else feel that way? My friend disagreed with me.
How to Be-A-Wolf in 10 Easy Lessons!
While watching Beowulf, I couldn’t help but think that, while it could be said that we are in the middle of a renaissance in animation, this is not necessarily a good thing. After all, the actual Renaissance was marked by people painting in a photo-realistic style and everyone being really impressed by that. It was only in later centuries that people realized that it’s actually more impressive to depart from reality and paint something that only exists in the mind or the soul. So it’s like these new advances in animation technology have made us regress rather than progress, simply because it’s so new that we basically have to relearn what art is really all about. What’s the point of using computers to recreate something that already exists in reality? I just kept staring at Beowulf’s facial stubble, because it looked so real, and yet I was mentally laughing at it at the same time, because it seemed so absurd to slavishly recreate facial stubble with a computer to make it look like the real thing.
I felt the same way about Ratatouille, which actually had foreground objects that were out of focus, like a live-action movie. In other words, it was even recreating the limitations of another medium, which reminded me of the fluted columns that so irked Howard Rourke in The Fountainhead. Why emulate another medium, when you can use the medium for its own sake, in ways that are unique to it? I look forward to the day when filmmakers realize this.
Akeelah and The Beowulf?
David Hasselhoff stars in Beowulf Nights
Jerry Seinfeld in Beeowulf Movie
The Adventures of Rocky and Beowulf
Strangely, I thought the characters looked more “real” in the closeups as opposed to the wide shots. Still, I think its a very neat flick with alot of action, and the mo-cap style gives it a distinctive flair with CGI being able to pull of camera tricks and various whizz-bang feats that you can’t do in live action. While I don’t think EVERY action flick should be mo-cap animation, I do think there is a real cool genre emerging and Beowulf is a good example of how you can do it.
As for animated movies that straddled that line between “real” and “unreal and scary” I thought Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children worked best because the character models weren’t 100% modeled on “real” people (unlike the pervious Final Fantasy movie). With Advent Children, the physical and facial features were exaggerated *just* enough (bigger anime-ish eyes, for example) so that when you’re watching it, you know that you aren’t watching live action, you’re watching animation and that makes it okay. Also, the movie was just jaw-droppingly pretty.
Oh, and as for the puns:
Beowulf and Bûŧŧ-hëád
Joel Schumacher returns to the franchise that destroyed his credibility with Beowulf and Robin Part II: It’s Nipple Time!
You got ripped off when you bought your widget set? Eh, you know what they say, “Beowulf beware.”
Ugh, awful.
I felt the same way about Ratatouille, which actually had foreground objects that were out of focus, like a live-action movie. In other words, it was even recreating the limitations of another medium,
That’s not a limitation; that’s a useful tool. Otherwise, agreed.
My thoughts went in a different direction:
And the Geat goes on.
We got the Geat.
Just Geat it.
Character from To Kill A Mockingbird=Boowulf
Yogi Bear and Boo-Boowulf
He’s got to find you first . . .
braillewulf.
That’s a second Mike, who perhaps felt the need to make his joke-repeat indistinguishable from my series of posts. If he’s going to keep doing this, I’m going to have no reservation against emphasizing how this demonstrates the excellence of my humor.