Top Ten Rejected Names for the New Pope

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

10) Pope George Ringo
9) Pope Alexander
8) Pope Carmelita
7) Pope On a Rope
6) Pope Sicle
5) Pope Skippy
4) Pope Tevye
3) Pope Bush Sucks
2) Pope Doggy Dog
1) Pope Peil Pocket Fisherman

83 comments on “Top Ten Rejected Names for the New Pope”

  1. I like Buddy Pope…or Pope Buddy. But the one I thought of as I waited to see if it would be yet one more old white dude or someone of color…

    Pope Bob.

    Michael J Norton

  3. I was hoping he’d take the name Pope Maria Conchita Alonso. I don’t know why I was hoping that, I just was.

    Benedict? Sorry, I can’t hear Benedict without thinking of a certain Mr. Arnold. I give the name thumbs down based on this flimsy excuse.

  4. What I was wondering was if one of their “top secret” voting methods didn’t involve a pair of dice, imprinted with the names of top candidates, and sealed under a clear glass dome which, when pressed down, snapped a mechanism beneath the dice, causing them to rattle around and determine the names to vote for…

    You know, a sort of Pope-O-Matic…

    Wildcat

  5. RoboPope209

    Seriously, how cool would that be?

    “Recieve the body and blood of Christ. You have ten seconds to comply.”

  6. I’m dismayed that he didn’t take Pope Lando II. If I ever become pope (you know, if they kill the Catholic requirement), I’m going to take that name to honour the first (and last) pope to keep his given name.

    Pope Cerebus I would also be a good choice. “One less mouth to feed is one less mouth to feed.”

  8. 1You know the Bishop of West Virginia was also in the running, but he told people that he:
    1. Would call himself Pope Bubba 5.
    2. Change the holy wine to Jack Dannels.
    3. Both for Dale Sr.’s saint hood.

  12. For some odd reason I had the TV on when the announcement was made. Not much you can do with Ratzinger.
    I thought he was John Ratzenberger. Pope Cliff?
    I was disappointed with “Benedict” – I was hoping he’d just stay with Pope Joe.
    And I know making fun of how someone looks is the lowest form of schoolyard bully comedy, but in between the frown lines, the teeth and the dark bags under his eyes, could this guy possibly look any more like a James Bond villain?
    I know, don’t be mean and stay with the funny. Okay. Surprised no one came up with
    Pope Le Pew.

  13. Pope-O-Licious. “Finger Lickin’ Good.”

    I looooooove Pope-Y-Power!!

    And Pope-Eye 🙂

  15. No, Benedict’s a fine name.

    And he’ll have to hang with the Jesuits.

    Then we have Poe Benny & the Jets. (works better when you say it)

  16. I’d wager that if he was called “Pope Dawg”, it would go along way to bringing some youth back to Catholisim. Hëll, if his track record is any indication, he’ll probably need it.

    Why, didn’t Catholism-wow & Buddy Christ work? It would explain why Cardinal Glick got passed over.

    Also, earlier on CNN today, discussing unifying the church a viewer suggested Margarita communions.

  17. Pope Corky IX.

    Y’know, George Carlin’s choice for a pope name…

    Or, if by some incredible off-chance Muhammad Ali got elected, Pope-a-Dope…

  18. This has nothing to do with the topic per se, but I thought it was funny and am passing it along. Thanks to Ravenwald for it:

    Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.

    After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent. In 1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rites to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye. The high silver content in the mine’s air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.

    Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy. No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.

    PAD

  19. I still think he should end one of his homilies with, “I don’t love you, I just want all your money.”

    Comic geeks would rejoice, and all others would be scandalized.

  20. Pope Ned Flanders
    Pope OJ
    Pope Malcolm In The Middle
    Robopope Papalbot (prototype)
    and just for PAD…
    POPE POOKIE101

  21. Think they’ll be having Pope-’em Fresh Dough in Rome? Or can anyone imagine Edgar Allen Pope? (Sorry, the horror writer in me MADE me do it…)But then, of course, the new hymn in the missalette….
    THE HOKEY POPEY!
    (Sorry, the DJ in me MADE me do it….)
    (I got WAAAAAY too many people in my head. But they’re so much FUN!)

  25. No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.

    Ow. Ow ow OW.

    Well done.

    (And a couple of years ago, I brought a thousand-milliliter beaker filled with the lavender marshmallow Peeps into class [a purple Peep-liter], so it’s not like I’ve got any grounds to complain too much…)

    TWL

  26. Pope Funky
    Pope Quiz
    Pope Wonka
    Pope Q
    Pope Ali G
    Pope Einstein
    Pope Gallager
    Pope Baba Ganoush
    The Pope of Steel
    Pope Bono

    (on a side note, rumor has it that Benadict will have an MTV series called “POP’D”)

  31. After just reading the eBay thread, I can’t help but suggest…

    Auction Pope, the Paypal leader.

    (Not in the face!)

  32. Pope goes your moms cherry
    X-Zibit says “You’ve officially been Poped!”

Comments are closed.