75 comments on “The last word on Johnny Cochran, as he himself might have put it:”
The leader of perhaps the greatest and most expensive legal team ever assembled.
My MSN name is: “If the glove don’t fit, I’m fûçkìņg dead”
Yours is actually, you know, witty.
“If the heart doth quit, you must write an obit.”
Ok, that was bad.
You know, I bet OJ was pìššëd when he saw how little Robert Blake had to pay to beat the rap.
I bet the the dude who played Columbo has a few people he would like to snuff out.
Dude – poor taste.
You know I bet Peter Falk (Columbo) who smoke five or six people and get away with it.
Lee Majors could go on a bonafide killing spree. He played the stuntman detective Colt Severs on the television show The FallGuy and he played the six million dollar man.
Does anyone remeber the TV show “Simon and Simon”? Those guys would get one murder between them.
Sadly, the dude who played “Remington Steele” doesn’t get any free murders, ditto for the cast of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.Kane”
Dude – poor taste.
You don’t see the humor
In a man’s brain tumor?
Tumor in your head?
Man, soon you’ll be dead.
Actually, this is sad. Without Johnny’s wisdom, how will we ever find Nicole’s killer? OJ’s searching the golf courses high and low, but justice hasn’t been satisfied yet…
I think this event, and the epitaph, should get the seriousness and somberness it deserves.
You know, I don’t think that there is an jury capable of handing down a guilty verdict where Lee Majors is concerned.
Sadly, the dude who played “Remington Steele” doesn’t get any free murders, ditto for the cast of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.Kane”
First off, by your logic, the dude who played “Remington Steele”, James Bond’s Pierce Brosnan, would get plenty of free murders. Secondly, if the star of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.King” killed his wife, he would be killing the beloved “Laura Ingalls-Wilder” and there is no way that he would get away with that!
Sadly, the dude who played “Remington Steele” doesn’t get any free murders
Actually, he got a license to kill.
Does Pierce Brosnan live in America? You kind of have to live in America for this to work.
I wonder how many people that dude who played Jim Rockford could murder? I think his name was James Garner right?
Holy Crap, Farrah Faucet could commit genocide and get away with it.
Yeah, but just thimk of all the dámņëd souls in Hëll that could use a good lawyer.
On second thought, the place is probably full of lawyers.
Man, William Shatner could really go to town.
Harlen Ellison should be able to get away with a few.
If he hasn’t already >;)
LMAO Brunner 🙂
Hey guys, was it true that the OJ murders kick started Jay Leno’s Tonight Show reign? I heard David Letterman refused to do OJ jokes. Leno on the other hand dived right in and Letterman started doing OJ jokes after he saw the success that Leno was having with them.
Secondly, if the star of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.King” killed his wife, he would be killing the beloved “Laura Ingalls-Wilder” and there is no way that he would get away with that!
Ah, but John Sheridan has ALREADY killed Anna Sheridan and gotten away with it…
TWL
“Ah, but John Sheridan has ALREADY killed Anna Sheridan and gotten away with it…”
not only that he used the logic from aliens; Nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure!
JAC
“Hey guys, was it true that the OJ murders kick started Jay Leno’s Tonight Show reign?”
No, but they pulled him out of ratings hëll and saved his career, such as it is.
Hey guys if you turn on the news there’s a tumour driving a ford bronco on the freeway.
there’s a tumour driving a ford bronco on the freeway.
Heh. I think its less the reference and more the visual imagery of that line that made me laugh. Also, I keep picturing the tumour wearing a fake beard, and AC Cowlings is in the background, screaming into the cellphone “YOU KNOW WHO I AM, DAMMIT!!!”
If the death knells chime, then it’s your time!
If the man expires, you’ll hear heavenly choirs!
If Death reaps, you leave for keeps!
. . . okay, I gotta stop now. This is far too much fun to be legal.
Best one I’ve seen so far is “If the body don’t stir, you must inter.”
Excellent observation about the “Aliens” motif, Jeff but Sheridan didn’t nuke the Shadows from orbit. He brought the nuke right down on top of himself. Nuking from orbit woulda been the sensible thing, but noooooo…
J.
I dig graveyard humor myself.
Y’know how deaths come in threes? Rev. Falwell doesn’t look too good, and the Pope and Prince Ranier seem to be in a race between Church and State to expire first. And of course, Terri Schiavo is due any day now.
So which two out of four belong in a set with Cochran?
No, I don’t think this is in bad taste. My plans for a Chia Terri Schiavo, *those* are in bad taste.
My initial comment was “OJ better not kill anybody else!”. In the trial most people know him for, Cochran really did seem like a complete ášš. If you read the obits, though, it seems the man did most of his work getting justice for the victims of police abuse.
All of this was in really bad taste.
Except for the William Shatner remark, which for some reason I found hysterical…
Harlan Ellison would not get away with one murder. This has nothing to do with celebrity status – once Harlan got in the courtroom he’d spout off and manage to pìšš øff the majority of the jury. If he had a smart lawyer, he’d avoid the death penalty.
//likes Ellison, just sayin’
Imagine William Shatner, AND Leonard Nimoy, AND Patrick Stewart, on a killing spree? I’m thinking L.A. would be emptied in about 12 hours.
If the my heart don’t beat, cover me with a sheet!
When my brain explodes, it’s time for my final repose…
If you help a double murderer
Heaven’s a whole lot furtherer
You know, usually this kind of vileness is reserved for Republicans and other scum.
Oh, wait, Cochran is the type that would be out to make Hitler as innocent as Mother Teresa.
So… I can’t say I really care one way or the other.
Now, Jerry Falwell, on the other hand. If there’s a Hëll, this guy already has his ticket stamped for a one-way ride, imo.
once Harlan got in the courtroom he’d spout off and manage to pìšš øff the majority of the jury.
Probably right, given the precedent of Socrates; before his oral defense he was probably going to get a slap on the wrist but so brilliant was his oratory that when it was over they made him drink hemlock.
It is sometimes possible to be too smart for your own good.
A quick comment about “the dude who played Remington Steel”.
There was NO Remington Steele. Mr Steele was a fiction created by Laura Holt (played by Stephanie Zimbalist) to put clients more at ease. She believed that potential clients would accept her authority to investigate if the boss, “Mr Steele”, was too busy to actually meet with the clients.
Pierce Brosnan (whose character’s real name was never revealed if I recall correctly) played a thief who somehow discovered Ms Holt’s little gimmick and took advantage of the situation. Brosnan’s character was called Remington Steele from the first episode, but he was NOT “Remington Steele”. (The gimmick recalled the old Thin Man movie series. Nick Charles, played by William Powell, was often called “the thin man” by moviegoers, which led to the film series using the “Thin Man” title, the only time there was a “thin man” was in the first film, when the character was played by Edward Ellis.)
Sorry for the nitpick–it’s just something that always irks me when Pierce Brosnan is described as “the actor who played Remington Steele”. More accurately, Brosnan is the actor who played a character who assumed the identity of Remington Steele. (I thoroughly loved the show during its first season. The tension between Laura Holt and “Remington Steele” was always great. The second season, though, saw that tense interaction wither to almost nothing as the two became too chummy and Laura actually seemed to become the employee she’d pretended to be according to the show’s initial premise.)
It’s not much different than people who believe Elsa Lanchester played the “Bride of Frankenstein”. She played the Creature’s mate (and Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley) but the real “Bride of Frankenstein” was played by Valerie Hobson.
I know this is a bit off-topic, but, PAD, what is this I hear about some upcoming issues of “Hulk” tying in with the upcoming “House of M” storyline?
I’m not looking for any spoilers about the “secret” of “House of M”, but if you’re the ongoing writer for “Hulk” (as I understood you to be), it just strikes me a bit odd that within a year of taking on a major Marvel title, that title is included as part of a major Marvel crossover storyline.
“I’m not looking for any spoilers about the “secret” of “House of M”, but if you’re the ongoing writer for “Hulk” (as I understood you to be), it just strikes me a bit odd that within a year of taking on a major Marvel title, that title is included as part of a major Marvel crossover storyline.”
Why would that strike you as odd? You said it yourself: Hulk is a major Marvel title. So if they’re doing a major Marvel crossover, well…
Remember, the thing that drove me nuts with (and eventually off) “X-Factor” was that every time I had a storyline going, I had to stop everything in order to accommodate yet another crossover. With “Hulk,” the first storyline is complete in five, and the next issue is a done-in-one. So since I hadn’t yet started a new storyline, when I was asked about “House of M,” I said, “Sure, why not.”
PAD
I guess that’s one upside of Marvel insisting stories fit into trades. It’s a lot harder to have them disrupted.
I keep thinking of the version of Cochrane that showed up in the adaptation of “Joker’s Millions” on B:TAS…
“If he’s filled with glee, he must go free!”
To be fair to the late Mr. Cochran, he did accomplish more in life other than the O.J. Simpson trial. Just ask Reginald Denny, the guy who got dragged out of his truck and beaten on live TV during the L.A. Riots, or Geronimo Pratt, who was imprisoned 27 years for a murder he didn’t commit.
–R.J.
“All of this was in really bad taste.”
I agree. I’m am really suprised by this thread. The man’s job was to defend his client to the max and the balance should come from the prosecution prosecuting to the max.
“I agree. I’m am really suprised by this thread. The man’s job was to defend his client to the max and the balance should come from the prosecution prosecuting to the max.”
That’s as may be. But the simple truth is that the OJ case was his major claim to fame, and the line about the glove was deliberately designed by Cochran to be a memorable sound bite. To my mind, announcing his passing using a twist on his most famous line is no different than newspaper headlines about the passing of Margaret Hamilton announcing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” (which was, by the way, the headline she specifically requested for her obit, and a number of newspapers indeed honored her wishes.)
PAD
So since I hadn’t yet started a new storyline, when I was asked about “House of M,” I said, “Sure, why not.”
PAD
Quick question: Not a huge crossover fan here, but I am a huge PAD Hulk fan. On a scale of one to 10, how does the House of M arc stand on its own, as opposed to running around & picking up all the HoM books.
“Quick question: Not a huge crossover fan here, but I am a huge PAD Hulk fan. On a scale of one to 10, how does the House of M arc stand on its own, as opposed to running around & picking up all the HoM books.”
If you’re asking whether Hulk #83-#86 stands on its own, yes, it does. This isn’t like “X-Cutioner’s Song” or somesuch in which Hulk #83 is merely a middle chapter in a four issue-arc through three other titles that month.
Do I think you should pick up House of M to fully appreciate the full scope of the overall arc? All I can tell you is that *I’m* planning to (I haven’t been on the Marvel comp list in years.)
PAD
Peter David wrote: To my mind, announcing his passing using a twist on his most famous line is no different than newspaper headlines about the passing of Margaret Hamilton announcing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” (which was, by the way, the headline she specifically requested for her obit, and a number of newspapers indeed honored her wishes.)
Peter…you’ve just pointed out how very different it is. Hamilton requested the headline.
Terrible news about Hulk and House of M. Terrible because I now have to pick up the mini. I was hoping to let this one pass, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. (Might as well pick up the Spidey mini while I’m at it.)
I’m glad see PAD’s not ticked about the crossover. I am a little concerned, though. If PAD only gets one year on Hulk, then spending four issues or so as a tie-in to another event seems like a waste. Hopefully he’ll have another good, long run with the character.
If the book’s a tie-in, gotta do more buyin’.
Oh well.
once Harlan got in the courtroom he’d spout off and manage to pìšš øff the majority of the jury.
Yeah. Can’t you just see his opening line now….
“Now, if all you simple minded bøøbš in the jury box had half the brains to understand what was done and why……”
You actually think he would get out with his life?
Personally, what I thought was in poor taste was my own impulse to start a punk band and call it “Schiavo’s Feeding Tube”…
1st rule Comedy it is not funny untill the dental records are back. Jezze wait till ole Johnny is buried. What if a person started making Terri Shavio jokes or some lil Conner petersen dittys.
What if a person started making Terri Shavio jokes
(old joke, but it’s worth repeating)
Q) What’s the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A) Chewing the feeding tube.
• 
The leader of perhaps the greatest and most expensive legal team ever assembled.
My MSN name is: “If the glove don’t fit, I’m fûçkìņg dead”
Yours is actually, you know, witty.
“If the heart doth quit, you must write an obit.”
Ok, that was bad.
You know, I bet OJ was pìššëd when he saw how little Robert Blake had to pay to beat the rap.
I bet the the dude who played Columbo has a few people he would like to snuff out.
Dude – poor taste.
You know I bet Peter Falk (Columbo) who smoke five or six people and get away with it.
Lee Majors could go on a bonafide killing spree. He played the stuntman detective Colt Severs on the television show The FallGuy and he played the six million dollar man.
Does anyone remeber the TV show “Simon and Simon”? Those guys would get one murder between them.
Sadly, the dude who played “Remington Steele” doesn’t get any free murders, ditto for the cast of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.Kane”
Dude – poor taste.
You don’t see the humor
In a man’s brain tumor?
Tumor in your head?
Man, soon you’ll be dead.
Actually, this is sad. Without Johnny’s wisdom, how will we ever find Nicole’s killer? OJ’s searching the golf courses high and low, but justice hasn’t been satisfied yet…
I think this event, and the epitaph, should get the seriousness and somberness it deserves.
*deep breath*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Whew! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
You know, I don’t think that there is an jury capable of handing down a guilty verdict where Lee Majors is concerned.
Sadly, the dude who played “Remington Steele” doesn’t get any free murders, ditto for the cast of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.Kane”
First off, by your logic, the dude who played “Remington Steele”, James Bond’s Pierce Brosnan, would get plenty of free murders. Secondly, if the star of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.King” killed his wife, he would be killing the beloved “Laura Ingalls-Wilder” and there is no way that he would get away with that!
Sadly, the dude who played “Remington Steele” doesn’t get any free murders
Actually, he got a license to kill.
Does Pierce Brosnan live in America? You kind of have to live in America for this to work.
I wonder how many people that dude who played Jim Rockford could murder? I think his name was James Garner right?
Holy Crap, Farrah Faucet could commit genocide and get away with it.
Yeah, but just thimk of all the dámņëd souls in Hëll that could use a good lawyer.
On second thought, the place is probably full of lawyers.
Man, William Shatner could really go to town.
Harlen Ellison should be able to get away with a few.
If he hasn’t already >;)
LMAO Brunner 🙂
Hey guys, was it true that the OJ murders kick started Jay Leno’s Tonight Show reign? I heard David Letterman refused to do OJ jokes. Leno on the other hand dived right in and Letterman started doing OJ jokes after he saw the success that Leno was having with them.
Secondly, if the star of “The Scarecrow and Mrs.King” killed his wife, he would be killing the beloved “Laura Ingalls-Wilder” and there is no way that he would get away with that!
Ah, but John Sheridan has ALREADY killed Anna Sheridan and gotten away with it…
TWL
“Ah, but John Sheridan has ALREADY killed Anna Sheridan and gotten away with it…”
not only that he used the logic from aliens; Nuke the site from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure!
JAC
“Hey guys, was it true that the OJ murders kick started Jay Leno’s Tonight Show reign?”
No, but they pulled him out of ratings hëll and saved his career, such as it is.
Hey guys if you turn on the news there’s a tumour driving a ford bronco on the freeway.
there’s a tumour driving a ford bronco on the freeway.
Heh. I think its less the reference and more the visual imagery of that line that made me laugh. Also, I keep picturing the tumour wearing a fake beard, and AC Cowlings is in the background, screaming into the cellphone “YOU KNOW WHO I AM, DAMMIT!!!”
If the death knells chime, then it’s your time!
If the man expires, you’ll hear heavenly choirs!
If Death reaps, you leave for keeps!
. . . okay, I gotta stop now. This is far too much fun to be legal.
Best one I’ve seen so far is “If the body don’t stir, you must inter.”
Excellent observation about the “Aliens” motif, Jeff but Sheridan didn’t nuke the Shadows from orbit. He brought the nuke right down on top of himself. Nuking from orbit woulda been the sensible thing, but noooooo…
J.
I dig graveyard humor myself.
Y’know how deaths come in threes? Rev. Falwell doesn’t look too good, and the Pope and Prince Ranier seem to be in a race between Church and State to expire first. And of course, Terri Schiavo is due any day now.
So which two out of four belong in a set with Cochran?
No, I don’t think this is in bad taste. My plans for a Chia Terri Schiavo, *those* are in bad taste.
My initial comment was “OJ better not kill anybody else!”. In the trial most people know him for, Cochran really did seem like a complete ášš. If you read the obits, though, it seems the man did most of his work getting justice for the victims of police abuse.
All of this was in really bad taste.
Except for the William Shatner remark, which for some reason I found hysterical…
Harlan Ellison would not get away with one murder. This has nothing to do with celebrity status – once Harlan got in the courtroom he’d spout off and manage to pìšš øff the majority of the jury. If he had a smart lawyer, he’d avoid the death penalty.
//likes Ellison, just sayin’
Imagine William Shatner, AND Leonard Nimoy, AND Patrick Stewart, on a killing spree? I’m thinking L.A. would be emptied in about 12 hours.
If the my heart don’t beat, cover me with a sheet!
When my brain explodes, it’s time for my final repose…
If you help a double murderer
Heaven’s a whole lot furtherer
You know, usually this kind of vileness is reserved for Republicans and other scum.
Oh, wait, Cochran is the type that would be out to make Hitler as innocent as Mother Teresa.
So… I can’t say I really care one way or the other.
Now, Jerry Falwell, on the other hand. If there’s a Hëll, this guy already has his ticket stamped for a one-way ride, imo.
once Harlan got in the courtroom he’d spout off and manage to pìšš øff the majority of the jury.
Probably right, given the precedent of Socrates; before his oral defense he was probably going to get a slap on the wrist but so brilliant was his oratory that when it was over they made him drink hemlock.
It is sometimes possible to be too smart for your own good.
A quick comment about “the dude who played Remington Steel”.
There was NO Remington Steele. Mr Steele was a fiction created by Laura Holt (played by Stephanie Zimbalist) to put clients more at ease. She believed that potential clients would accept her authority to investigate if the boss, “Mr Steele”, was too busy to actually meet with the clients.
Pierce Brosnan (whose character’s real name was never revealed if I recall correctly) played a thief who somehow discovered Ms Holt’s little gimmick and took advantage of the situation. Brosnan’s character was called Remington Steele from the first episode, but he was NOT “Remington Steele”. (The gimmick recalled the old Thin Man movie series. Nick Charles, played by William Powell, was often called “the thin man” by moviegoers, which led to the film series using the “Thin Man” title, the only time there was a “thin man” was in the first film, when the character was played by Edward Ellis.)
Sorry for the nitpick–it’s just something that always irks me when Pierce Brosnan is described as “the actor who played Remington Steele”. More accurately, Brosnan is the actor who played a character who assumed the identity of Remington Steele. (I thoroughly loved the show during its first season. The tension between Laura Holt and “Remington Steele” was always great. The second season, though, saw that tense interaction wither to almost nothing as the two became too chummy and Laura actually seemed to become the employee she’d pretended to be according to the show’s initial premise.)
It’s not much different than people who believe Elsa Lanchester played the “Bride of Frankenstein”. She played the Creature’s mate (and Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley) but the real “Bride of Frankenstein” was played by Valerie Hobson.
I know this is a bit off-topic, but, PAD, what is this I hear about some upcoming issues of “Hulk” tying in with the upcoming “House of M” storyline?
I’m not looking for any spoilers about the “secret” of “House of M”, but if you’re the ongoing writer for “Hulk” (as I understood you to be), it just strikes me a bit odd that within a year of taking on a major Marvel title, that title is included as part of a major Marvel crossover storyline.
“I’m not looking for any spoilers about the “secret” of “House of M”, but if you’re the ongoing writer for “Hulk” (as I understood you to be), it just strikes me a bit odd that within a year of taking on a major Marvel title, that title is included as part of a major Marvel crossover storyline.”
Why would that strike you as odd? You said it yourself: Hulk is a major Marvel title. So if they’re doing a major Marvel crossover, well…
Remember, the thing that drove me nuts with (and eventually off) “X-Factor” was that every time I had a storyline going, I had to stop everything in order to accommodate yet another crossover. With “Hulk,” the first storyline is complete in five, and the next issue is a done-in-one. So since I hadn’t yet started a new storyline, when I was asked about “House of M,” I said, “Sure, why not.”
PAD
I guess that’s one upside of Marvel insisting stories fit into trades. It’s a lot harder to have them disrupted.
I keep thinking of the version of Cochrane that showed up in the adaptation of “Joker’s Millions” on B:TAS…
“If he’s filled with glee, he must go free!”
To be fair to the late Mr. Cochran, he did accomplish more in life other than the O.J. Simpson trial. Just ask Reginald Denny, the guy who got dragged out of his truck and beaten on live TV during the L.A. Riots, or Geronimo Pratt, who was imprisoned 27 years for a murder he didn’t commit.
–R.J.
“All of this was in really bad taste.”
I agree. I’m am really suprised by this thread. The man’s job was to defend his client to the max and the balance should come from the prosecution prosecuting to the max.
“I agree. I’m am really suprised by this thread. The man’s job was to defend his client to the max and the balance should come from the prosecution prosecuting to the max.”
That’s as may be. But the simple truth is that the OJ case was his major claim to fame, and the line about the glove was deliberately designed by Cochran to be a memorable sound bite. To my mind, announcing his passing using a twist on his most famous line is no different than newspaper headlines about the passing of Margaret Hamilton announcing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” (which was, by the way, the headline she specifically requested for her obit, and a number of newspapers indeed honored her wishes.)
PAD
So since I hadn’t yet started a new storyline, when I was asked about “House of M,” I said, “Sure, why not.”
PAD
Quick question: Not a huge crossover fan here, but I am a huge PAD Hulk fan. On a scale of one to 10, how does the House of M arc stand on its own, as opposed to running around & picking up all the HoM books.
“Quick question: Not a huge crossover fan here, but I am a huge PAD Hulk fan. On a scale of one to 10, how does the House of M arc stand on its own, as opposed to running around & picking up all the HoM books.”
If you’re asking whether Hulk #83-#86 stands on its own, yes, it does. This isn’t like “X-Cutioner’s Song” or somesuch in which Hulk #83 is merely a middle chapter in a four issue-arc through three other titles that month.
Do I think you should pick up House of M to fully appreciate the full scope of the overall arc? All I can tell you is that *I’m* planning to (I haven’t been on the Marvel comp list in years.)
PAD
Peter David wrote: To my mind, announcing his passing using a twist on his most famous line is no different than newspaper headlines about the passing of Margaret Hamilton announcing “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” (which was, by the way, the headline she specifically requested for her obit, and a number of newspapers indeed honored her wishes.)
Peter…you’ve just pointed out how very different it is. Hamilton requested the headline.
Terrible news about Hulk and House of M. Terrible because I now have to pick up the mini. I was hoping to let this one pass, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. (Might as well pick up the Spidey mini while I’m at it.)
I’m glad see PAD’s not ticked about the crossover. I am a little concerned, though. If PAD only gets one year on Hulk, then spending four issues or so as a tie-in to another event seems like a waste. Hopefully he’ll have another good, long run with the character.
If the book’s a tie-in, gotta do more buyin’.
Oh well.
once Harlan got in the courtroom he’d spout off and manage to pìšš øff the majority of the jury.
Yeah. Can’t you just see his opening line now….
“Now, if all you simple minded bøøbš in the jury box had half the brains to understand what was done and why……”
You actually think he would get out with his life?
Personally, what I thought was in poor taste was my own impulse to start a punk band and call it “Schiavo’s Feeding Tube”…
1st rule Comedy it is not funny untill the dental records are back. Jezze wait till ole Johnny is buried. What if a person started making Terri Shavio jokes or some lil Conner petersen dittys.
What if a person started making Terri Shavio jokes
(old joke, but it’s worth repeating)
Q) What’s the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A) Chewing the feeding tube.