A STERN WARNING

Years and years and years ago, I listened to Howard Stern on the radio. He was funny. Really funny.

And then, over a period of months, he shifted emphasis. The material became more raunchy, more of what would come to be called the “Shock Jock” mentality. It annoyed me. He seemed better than this type of material. As if doing real humor was too hard, and he was going for cheap gags about flatulence and breasts. Plus the major problem with shock humor is that you have to keep upping the ante, until it’s all about the gross out rather than anything approaching wit.

So I started listening to other stuff.

It’s now years later and Stern is saying that the show will probably be folding its tent altogether as the Clear Channel dumps it from major markets and the FCC issues bug bucks fines for indecency.

What I’d like to know is this:

When in the intervening twenty-plus years since I last listened to Howard Stern were station selection controls removed from radios?

Have they become overly complicated? Have people lost the ability to manipulate them? Is every radio in the world locked in to the stations carrying his show so that people have no choice but to listen?

I mean, I don’t understand why this isn’t a no-brainer. I don’t think Howard Stern is funny. So I don’t listen to him. What the hëll kind of mentality are we living in where it’s decided that Howard Stern isn’t funny and he must be punished for it or driven off the air or both? This makes zero sense to me. Am I that much smarter, better, niftier than so many others that I just say, “I don’t think that’s funny, I’m not going to listen anymore?” and then do that? I’m unclear on why everyone can’t do that, rather than decide on behalf of those people who *do* like Howard Stern that they shouldn’t be allowed to hear it.

PAD

BACK IN TOWN

I was out on the left coast for a few days. It was a blink-and-you-miss-me gig, meeting with various folks about a variety of topics, including a new creative endeavor currently under way (more about it later as I see how it shapes up.) Got together with Mark Evanier, a genial and accommodating host if ever there was one. Also spent time with Marv Wolfman and Len Wein, two industry giants (and by the way, why the HÊLL is the industry not hiring them more?). And I swung by to see Harlan and Susan as well, which is always exciting.

My current airline of choice, by the way, is Jetblue. I didn’t know for sure I was LA bound until about four days beforehand. Jetblue roundtrip was a little over $300, which sure ain’t bad for four day’s notice. The leather seats are extremely comfortable, and they have cable TV at every seat. The bad news is, they don’t have much in the way of airline food. The good news is, they don’t have much in the way of airline food.

I was out of town for Super Tuesday, but that’s okay. I hadn’t one hundred percent made up my mind between Kerry and Edwards, so at least I didn’t have to make that decision.

PAD

Oddball search engine requests…

Some folks end up here with the strangest searches… let me show you what’s in the logs:

the bachlorette spoilers: Yes, we were sworn to secrecy, but the world needs to know– she’s a guy.

jonathan taylor thomas naked: Okay…

eliza duchku: Close, try again.

bad living conditions of late 1940 s chicago: No idea.

teen titans naked: Ooooookay…

what endangers the american aligator: I know we engage in sewer talk around here, but other than that, I don’t see the connection.

eliza kushdu: Closer, at least this time you have all the right letters…

naked aerobics: This is turning into a trend, isn’t it?

jews are evil: What’s amazing to me is that there were 14 searches on that term that ended up here.

eliza dukashu: It’s Dushku! Dushku! Can’t people spell anymore?

keira knighly: Guess not…

ian somerhalder naked: ..unless you’re looking for naked pictures. I guess it helps somehow…

general wesley clark shirtless: …and it makes you politically active?

Come back next time, when we gaze into the abyss and do this all over again.