Terrorist representatives today announced they were abandoning further retaliatory plans against allies of the US-led war on Iraq when a nine year old girl pointed out to them that–had terrorists not destroyed the World Trade Center–George W. Bush would never have been able to muster the support to attack Iraq in the first place.
“Yeah, that lapse in clear thinking was our bad,” said terrorist spokesman Abu Al Bumen. “If 9/11 hadn’t happened, Bush could never had ridden a wave of fear and anger right into the middle of Baghdad. I mean, the kid had it right. She didn’t really leave us a lot of wiggle room, y’know?”
The startling turnabout began when nine year old Terri Schwindenhamer of Tulsa, OK, wrote a letter to the editor that appeared in the Tuesday New York Times. Young Schwindenhamer, whose letter was headlined “Could Someone Explain This To me,” pointed out in part, “I don’t understand why the terrorists are hurting people over stuff the terrorists themselves helped to happen.”
Al Bunem, in a taped interview airing on the Spike Network, stated, “We just hadn’t considered it that we…I mean, we were blowing up innocent people over events that we initiated. Frankly, I don’t know what the hëll we were thinking. Bottom line is, we pretty much screwed the pooch on this whole revenge thing. So, y’know, we’re reconsidering our options.”
“Actually, we’re thinking of getting into management of national political campaigns. Turns out we’re pretty good at that.”
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