In today’s “For Better Or For Worse” as it was run in New York Newsday, April and her aspiring musician friends are practicing in the school band room, only to discover school bully Jeremy seated outside the door. When April invites him in saying, “We need an audience,” Jeremy replies, “What you need is a giant vacuum, loser…” and walks off in the fourth panel announcing, “Your music stinks.”
Not much of a knee slapper? Lynn Johnston have an off day? Well, not really. A closer look at the last word reveals that the letters between “s” and “k” have been erased, and the letters “tin” have been jammed in by a different hand with a darker pen. That’s right: The original punchline was “Your music sucks.” Which itself isn’t the height of hilarity, but at least prompts a smile, makes sense, and sounds like something a kid would say. Instead, thanks to the (and I use the word loosely) edit, Jeremy comes across like “Biff” in “Back to the Future” saying, “Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here.”
“Zits” ran into all kinds of problems a few months ago when papers got their knickers in a twist over Jeremy exclaiming something sucked. This in turn provoked the Sunday strip wherein “sucks” was used repeatedly in all manner of utterly benign ways until the final panel that had Jeremy’s bellowing “This sucks!” obscured by black tape while his mother tsk-tsks over his language, rightly skewering the idiocy of banning this context from the comics pages. Apparently, though, it’s still a hot button issue. Or at least it’s a hot button issue when someone named “Jeremy” says it since that’s the moniker of both offending characters.
A quick check on line indicates that, indeed, the original punchline was “”Your music sucks.”
I’m not sure at what level this occurred. It’s hard to believe it transpired at syndicate level because, if Johnston had been told to change it, she could have at least rewritten Jeremy’s set-up line as well. “What you need is a giant skunk” or “a rotting body” or “air freshener” or *something* having to do with smell, so two strips could be provided in order to accommodate the faint of heart.
But in New York? We have faint of heart in New York? We’re usually the market that runs the strips everyone else in the country freaks out about. I’m just hoping this didn’t occur at the newspaper level and some schmuck in the Newsday editorial department took it upon himself to change Johnston’s dialogue. Because that would, y’know…suck. And possibly also blow.
Perhaps all the comic strip artists should get together and coordinate it so “that sucks” appears in every single comic strip. April 1, maybe. Or maybe March 15, the Ides of March. Call it “Suckfest 2004.”
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