Guys…I decided to just add these late night codas to the blog because I thought it would be funny. Like these bizarre words of wisdom you used to see on some stations before they signed off. And the reason I don’t allow replies is because I was afraid that you folks would either analyze them to pieces or try to show how clever you are by one-upping them, thereby sucking what humor there was out of them until there was nothing left.
So instead you’re either doing it on other threads or deluging me with e-mail about them.
They’re random silly thoughts. Read them, ponder them, stick them in as sig. lines, but leave it at that, would’ja, please?
PAD
PS–THAT INCLUDES THE #*@* WEBMASTER!!
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I must admit, they did puzzle me when I first read them. What can I say, very clever idead of yours.
Sorta like Jon Stewart’s “Moment of Zen” bits. What’s really left to say after these?
Sigh.
Welcome to the internet, Peter. Welcome to the internet.
You know, after reading your profound last thoughts, it got me thinking my own deep thoughts. Like, what if the “Hokey Pokey” really IS what it’s all about…?!?
I thought it was either the pure, distilled randomness that circulates around your brain…
…or, lots and lots of alcohol. 😀
🙂
Well, can’t talk for anyone else, obviously, but I’m enjoying reading them…
And calling them “Last Thoughts of the Night” just signifies to me that they are the sort of thing that hits you just as you’re falling asleep.
I thought they were funny.
Can’t always be serious about everything. A little humor every now and then doesn’t hurt.
And here I was thinking the lack of sleep due to Caroline had finally hit home.
I can understand where these thoughts come from. I sometimes wonder, “Why do we call the place where we park a car a ‘driveway,’ and the road that we drive on the ‘parkway'”?
And why does the word “dictionary” actually appear in the dictionary? I mean, what’s the point? Who is this for? If you’re going through a dictionary, you pretty much know what one is, right? So if those reference editors have to select the most useful terms in the language to put in there, couldn’ they have left that one out?
🙂
When I saw the first one, my only response was going to be “My brain hurts.” There’s not much else that I felt needed to be said.
I’m crushed. I was collecting them as holy writ and was planning on starting a cult around them. Well, them and Bubba Ho-Tep. That was cool.
I liked ’em. I commented on the last one in another thread ’cause it illicited a response in my mind. What can I say, Peter? Even when you’re being silly, you can still make us think (though it was cheating for the webmaster to hijack the thread when the rest of us couldn’t respond directly). I understand why you would want us to leave them alone, but I think it’s a little impractical to try to get it. If you do another, though, I’ll abide by your wishes and let it stand.
Although his ‘Fair & Balanced’ Slogan at the top reminds me too much of Fox News Channel. heh.
It’s funny how so many people regurgatate the jokes of Steven Wright on topics like this.
“Why do we call the place where we park a car a ‘driveway,’ and the road that we drive on the ‘parkway'”?
First time I heard that one was on a Gallagher (sp?) album about 20 years ago.
From Gallagher (your spelling is correct, by the way), I preferred, “If ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’ then progress must be the opposite of Congress.”
Why do people say ATM machine. Don’t they realize they are saying Automatic Teller Machine Machine.
Also why do we say Hot Water Heater. Why would you need to heat hot water?
(I am not claiming these are orignal.)
“And why does the word “dictionary” actually appear in the dictionary? I mean, what’s the point? Who is this for? If you’re going through a dictionary, you pretty much know what one is, right? So if those reference editors have to select the most useful terms in the language to put in there, couldn’ they have left that one out?”
I recall this one being a Kevin Pollak routine.
Jason
“Why do people say ATM machine. Don’t they realize they are saying Automatic Teller Machine Machine.”
I’ve actually never heard this one, but I have had the thought many times. I always chide myself for a dunce when I call it an “ATM Machine.” I’m glad that you and whoever came up with that line (since you’re not claiming originality) agree with me.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=Google
See, that’s why I’m trying to do *my* last thoughts rather than just quote jokes (although, for the record, my favorite Wright line is, “Just remember, you can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”)
PAD
Just what the world needs:
Deep Thoughts by Peter David
And just how much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I’ve always wondered…
JSM
If you guys like Steven Wright, you should look up Mitch Hedburg. He’s just as funny and about 15 years younger. His one-liners are in pretty much the same vein (or is it veign?).
My favorite line of his, “One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here’s a picture of me when I am older. You son of a bìŧçh, how’d you pull that off? Let me see that camera…”
PAD: Was the Trojan Horse ribbed for her pleasure?
Think about it.
See, posting stuff like this and not letting the rest us play with it is just so mean… 🙂
Wait a minute… that came out wrong…
tOjb
PAD, about your last thoughts all I have to say is:
Ouchy. My brain thingy hurts.
JSM,
A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
PAD: Was the Trojan Horse ribbed for her pleasure?
Think about it.
My question is: Why would teasing the horse bring pleasure to a woman?
**PAD: Was the Trojan Horse ribbed for her pleasure?
Think about it.
My question is: Why would teasing the horse bring pleasure to a woman?**
Oh, come ON. I’m a virgin and I STILL got that one.
Then again, I’m a pervert, so it sort of balances out. 😛
This board needs an edit function.
Someone once suggested, during Johnny Carson’s run on “The Tonight Show,” a way that Carson could perform a slight service for literacy and thought. Instead of simply saying goodnight at the end of the show, it was suggested that he offer a quote from some literary source – the Bible, the works of Shakespere, from the noble Bartlett, someone. Give the audience something to think about before they trundled off to bed.
Nothing came of it, of course. Carson was known to be a grouch who couldn’t wait to get the hëll out of the studio at the end of a show, and once the cameras were off treated his guests like they were invisible.
Nice to see that you, Mr. David, have tried to institute something that Johnny Carson wouldn’t.
“PAD: Was the Trojan Horse ribbed for her pleasure?
Think about it.
My question is: Why would teasing the horse bring pleasure to a woman?**
Oh, come ON. I’m a virgin and I STILL got that one.”
I think I was making a comment about the kind of strange woman who would delight in an animal be harassed or abused. Sorry it wasn’t clear enough.
Alan Coil