Originally published October 22, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1353

Shana really, really wanted to go to the Tori Amos concert. But it was an extremely small venue, and tickets were going to be absolutely impossible to come by. However, I figured I had one shot at accommodating her: Tori Amos, as everyone knows, is rather tight with Neil Gaiman. And, in the best spirit of six degrees of separation, I know Neil and therefore had (albiet) limited access to Amos.

So I called Neil and asked him if there was any way he could score a couple of tickets to the Tori Amos concert (apparently narrowly beating a deluge of other people asking him very much the same thing.) Neil said that he would see what he could do. And several days later, Neil called me back and told me that he had indeed managed to make some calls and it had been all arranged that Shana would be able to attend the sold-out concert.

“Neil, I really owe you,” I said.

And there was a pause at the other end of the line.

And then Neil said, very slowly, very deliberately, “Yes. I know.”

It was the single most terrifying, most sinister enunciation of those three relatively harmless words that I had ever heard.

Continue Reading “Regarding Neil” →

Originally published October 15, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1352

As I sit here in the shelter constructed for refugees, huddling to avoid the wrath of Hurricane Floyd, I wonder how I will find the strength to go on. Everything that we own, gone. Everything we…

Continue Reading “Mad Media and the Plane Truth” →

Originally published October 8, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1351

As of this writing, Hurricane Floyd is bearing down on my neck of the woods, so I’m not sure how much time I have to produce this column. Originally we had been assured that by the time it got here it would be downgraded to a tropical storm. Unfortunately, no one informed the hurricane of that.

Sometimes I truly wonder who’s more useless: weathermen who practice such an inexact science that they constantly get it wrong, or us because despite all the times they get it wrong, we still pay attention to them every time. It’s as if we all have terminal short-term memory problems.

So I’m going to try and be succinct and just do a few scattershot thoughts before running outside and battening down the garbage cans and barbeque…

Continue Reading “Elfquest case follow-up” →

Originally published October 1, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1350–Special Peter David-themed issue

When I was informed that I was the theme of this issue, my first thought was, “Good lord, why?” My second thought was that writing the column for this issue might seem like overkill. I mentioned this to my long-time friend and writing partner, Bill Mumy, and Bill immediately volunteered to fill in. With a disturbing lack of trepidation, I said, “Sure.” Twenty-four hours and half a bottle of wine later, Mumy produced the following:

* * *

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Originally published September 24, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1349

So we were busy last week ushering in the Marvel Age of non-coincidence, as espoused in the relaunches of mainstays such as Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk. It had been the humble suggestion of BID that Marvel obtain the rights to Classics Illustrated (which shouldn’t be much of a stress; after all, they used to publish Marvel Collector Items Classics) and put John Byrne in charge so that he could work his magic touch on all those annoying literary coincidences which have plagued various works. Coincidence, happenstance—these are antithetical to quality comics stories, and the new MCI would do away with such unlikely circumstances as:

Continue Reading “Coincidence in Fiction, Part 2” →

Originally published September 17, 1999, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1348

Happenstance vs. Conspiracies. Fate vs. Machinations. The Incredible Hulk Annual vs. Incredible Hulk #1. Save the first two for later, let’s look at the third.

Now, let’s be candid: You all know that I feel more of an emotional attachment to the Hulk than most other characters. And certainly John Byrne’s publicly expressed sentiments that my being forced from the title might be viewed as proof that “there is a God” didn’t exactly endear him to me. So the following is not exactly… how shall we say it… unbiased. Then again, it’s an opinion column, so what else is new? To say nothing of the fact that the title is burning up a considerable amount of bandwidth on the computer boards, so there must be something worth discussing here unmotivated by personal history.

Continue Reading “Coincidence in Fiction, Part 1” →