As is appropriate to a year ending in 13, this was quite simply the worst year of my life. The. Worst.

The entire first half was dedicated to learning how to walk and function again. Now, at the end of the year, at least I’m walking again although my legs are weaker. And my right arm is fully functional.

Anything good that happened this year had to do with my daughters. Shana’s theater is succeeding; Ariel graduated college; and Gwen got married. So from a family POV, it’s all been good.

Here’s praying 2014 is more decent to me personally.

PAD

One year ago today, my life fell apart.

It started with my vision on the 27th. I was convinced that I was suffering from some sort of migraines as it became increasingly difficult for me to see. By evening it was getting worse. I figured I was tired. At 2:30 in the morning I got out of bed to go to the bathroom and my right leg was no longer functioning. Believe it or not, I just thought my knee was acting up and actually crawled around to get to the bathroom and back. It wasn’t until the morning when I went to the hospital and spiraled into my new reality: I’d had a stroke.

I spent the next two months relearning how to walk and since then have striven to return to what I used to be. A year later, my legs are still weak. My endurance is not remotely what it used to be. Once upon a time, if I went into New York City, I’d walk all over the place. Now after a few blocks I’m worn out.

And every morning I still have to test my legs to see if they’re functioning. There’s always the fear that I’m going to attempt to stand up and will hit the floor. Every day.

But I should be grateful. The fans have been almost unanimously supportive. Good wishes poured in from all over the world. Book sales skyrocketed for a little while (lately not so much; it’d be nice to see a resurgence. Just saying.) And I will never forget the ovation I received when I showed up at Farpoint convention a week after being released.

Kathleen kept everyone apprised of everything that was going on and without her continued support I know I could never hope to get back to what I was. Likewise my children and family have also been incredibly supportive. And just a few weeks ago I was back in Jacksonville where I was treated and went to lunch with Ali and Sarah, two of the women who were responsible for teaching me how to recover.

And at least I’ve had the opportunity to do so. The worst day of my recovery was the day I learned that retailer Gordon Lee had died…of a stroke. I was a mess that day, wondering what the point of my attempts to walk were. I was sure that a second stroke would come at me any time, and this one would be fatal.

Well, it’s been a year. An amazingly lousy year, but positive things have happened as well. And I’m still here. So that’s something.

PAD