Skippy the Jedi Droid

digresssmlOriginally published March 28, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1219

And now, in celebration of the 20-year anniversary of Star Wars, we present the untold story (well, untold until now) of the single most important individual in the entire trilogy. The individual upon whom the whole story has hinged. And yet, his praises have gone unsung. There are no books about him, no background on him, no notice of him whatsoever in any description of the main points of Star Wars. Hearken to the following tale (a commentary on the series—which is ®, TM, and © Lucasfilm Ltd. and not confirmed by anyone in that organization):

A Long Time Ago… in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…

I Hear This All the Time

That creators shouldn’t get worked up over Internet piracy because, hey, it enables people to sample the work and, by gosh, they will start buying it. And you’ll find plenty of people who will attest to doing just that.

But then there’s the guy who J.K. Woodward–sitting at the adjacent table right now at the Wildpig convention in New Jersey–told me about, who came up to him at the New York Comic Con. The fan was waxing effusively about J.K.’s work on FALLEN ANGEL, and how much he enjoyed his work…and then felt constrained to add, “I don’t actually buy it. I download it. But it’s great!”

You wonder how someone can be that clueless. Well, it’s easy: the massive sense of entitlement amongst some Internet denizens. People who would never think of shoplifting a comic book from a store do not hesitate to take advantage of stolen goods. Why should they feel any kind of shame when it does not occur to them that they are screwing the publisher and creators out of money? They cannot distinguish between, say, free online content provided by newspapers and pirate sites where they can browse through illegal downloads.

And it’s only going to get worse. Because the current generation of users has witnessed the rise of pirate sites and makes use of them without the slightest intention of providing remuneration for the creators, rationalizing it all the way. The next generation is going to grow up with theft as the norm. No excuses necessary. And if you don’t think that’s going to have a long-term negative impact on publishing, you are quite simply kidding yourself.

Because for every nimrod who’s shameless enough to tell creators point blank, “I love getting your work for free,” I’ll wager there’s plenty who are doing the same thing and just keeping their mouths shut. Because they know what they’re doing is wrong. And they do it anyway.

PAD

The Best Comics Fangasm Movie Ever (Pretty much spoiler free)

“What’s the best superhero” film ever made is a question endlessly debated with no concrete answer. There’s too many subcategories. You want fealty to the spirit of the source material? “Spider-Man.” You want the best performance of an iconic hero? Chris Reeves’ “Superman.” Comic strips? “The Phantom.” Most street cred with the Academy? “Dark Knight.” And so on.

But for pure fangasm…for a comic book superhero film that will not leave a dry seat in the house (metaphorically, one hopes)…you simply cannot beat “The Avengers.”

Star Wars plot holes

digresssmlOriginally published March 21, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1218

[Editor’s note: Last week, Peter David, writer of stuff, pointed out that there’s a plot concept missing in Star Wars that, as he wrote, “didn’t even exist when the film came out two decades ago.”]

Consider, if you will, the universe of Star Wars.

They have spaceships.

They have faster-than-light drive.

They have blasters.

They have lightsabers.

They have satellites capable of reducing an entire planet to rubble instantly.

They have land speeders. They have All-Terrain Armored Transports (AT-ATs). They have robots in a variety of shapes and sizes, capable of independent thought and action—basically, artificial intelligence. They have laser crossbows. They have cities in the clouds. They have suspended animation capability wherein they can put you to sleep inside carbonite, thaw you out, and you’re none the worse for wear except for the shakes and blurred vision. They have force fields, holographic chess, and high-speed air bikes.

What haven’t they got?

Making my way across Canada

Been a busy week.

Flew up to Montreal on Monday and then, in a rental car, drove up to Quebec City to do work on a video game. The weather appears to have declared war. The entire drive up to QC it rained, except when it sleeted. Once in QC, whenever I was indoors, the weather was fine; when I set foot outside it started to rain.

Then I drove back down to Montreal on Wednesday afternoon, this time with only intermittent spitting from the skies. Thursday morning the weather I remained indoors so that the weather was clear and flew to Calgary, my current location, attending the Calgary Expo, which seems very well run and organized.

Friday went very well. Met a lot of enthusiastic fans, sold a ton of stuff (guess Canadians have spending money because they don’t have to worry about paying for health care; lucky devils). Had a lengthy chat with Ty Templeton about the fabled golden age hero, Hoverboy. Been trying to take it easy, but this morning I woke up at 4:30 and haven’t been able to fall back to sleep. So here we all are.

PAD

Working for a living

digresssmlOriginally published March 7, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1216

While Harlan Ellison was busy putting fans in their place, I was busy being put in mine.

Harlan started quite a stir during his opinion piece on the Sci-Fi Channels Sci-Fi Buzz. Ellison stated that writers “owe” fans nothing beyond their best endeavors at plying their craft. Writers who receive wide fan support do not owe the fans any sense of gratitude for “putting” the writers where they are; the writers owe their relative success entirely to their own efforts.