POTATO MOON, Part 43: “That Which Directly Follows Part 42,” by Tayna Laubacher

potato_moonAs the madness unabashedly continued elsewhere in Washington state, two men sat a picnic table on a hill overlooking a quaint American town, that could have been anywhere in the nation. Accept that it was somewhere near the northwestern Pacific coast, which meant persistent clouds, chilled air and the vast majority of the days filled with rain.

Which, interestingly, never seemed to occur unless there needed to be thunder and/or lightning.

The picnic table was situated with several other of its kin near a small restaurant. The smell of overcooked allegedly beef patties on a grill that most likely hadn’t been cleaned since late last century. But the two men weren’t actually eating anything. They sat at the table with a game positioned on the tabletop. A square board was marked with a black and white checkerboard pattern. A dozen game pieces were still in play. Those which had been taken off the board had been tossed into a pile on one side.

One man was reading a book, the same book had been given to Woeisme some chapters ago. His eyes scanned the pages as he ignored his opponent who was rubbing his neck in not entirely teenage angst over what appeared to be a difficult decision. The man was taking the game far too seriously, in his expert opinion.

And his opinion had great merit. He was a doctor, after all.

POTATO MOON, Part 42: “The Douglas Adams Memorial Chapter” by Lynette Browning-Brock

potato_moonBela, newly empowered by her fluttering swarm of tiny mothlike friends, wheeled on the Potato King.  “You monster!  You knew this would happen!  You’ve made everything worse, and I can’t even figure out how that’s possible considering the storyline so far!”

“Don’t, darling,” Edwood soothed.  “You know you get those awful migraines when you try to figure things out.”

Bela immediately dropped to the ground, clutching her temples.  “Ooooh, you’re right! Why do I do this to myself?”

“Awk?” said the two penguins now representing Jakob, in a tone that suggested Hello?  Can we get back to me, please?

POTATO MOON, Part 41: “Questions Without Answers” by Miriam Rocke

potato_moonThe Potato King frowned.  “What are fanfiction writers?”

Jakob mooed, meaning either “How do you know so much about freaking
werecows but haven’t heard of fanfiction?” or else “ow ow ow can we
please get back to the POINT before I DIE.”

Edwood said, “Let me explain.  No, there’s too much.  Let me sum up.”

POTATO MOON, Part 40: “An Uncomfortable Situation” by Jason Andrew

potato_moonJakob mooed painfully.

Something was horribly wrong.  He tried to shift forms again, but agony shattered his concentration.  He was nevered that good at focusing his attention, except towards Bela, potatoes, and on occasion heartfelt teenage coming of ages movies he found late at night on Cinemax.

Edwood patted Jakob uncomfortably.  He liked Jakob much better as a werecow.  Something in his eyes reminded him of his great love.  Not the mirror or that spiffy hair gel but Bela.  Sweet Bela of the Cow Eyes.  “The burns will heal.”

POTATO MOON, Part 39: “Storming the Castle” by Chris Magnano

potato_moon“Who was that?” Yukon Gold asked as Edwood put his phone away.

“Moo?” Jakob seconded.

“Um, that was my step father.  I like him to keep tabs on me.  We have a rather special relationship.”  Edwood shrugged his shoulders the merest fraction of a centimeter to demonstrate his nonchalance.

POTATO MOON, Part 38: “Four Short of the Answer To It All, or Kevin Smith Plus One” by Arlene C. Harris

potato_moonMeanwhile back at stately Sullen Manner, Dr. Argyle Sullen was engrossed in the new game from Poptart Games, “Potatoes Vs. Werewolves” and he couldn’t get the catchy themesong “there’s a werewolf in my yard” out of his head. Not surprising since he was a 400 year old doctor and his head was so full of all the other little stuff he’d picked up in 400 years that once he caught an earworm it was hard to get it out. Only “It’s A Small World” or “Happy Trails” could dislodge a catchy tune and he was not yet desperate enough to attempt either one of those.

Just as the werewolf in the game fursploded, signaling a level up, the phone rang. Luckily for him he had a cheap Skype knockoff so he didn’t have to get out of his chair. He’d have bought the real thing but that would have cut into his videogame budget. “Is that you, Edwood?”

POTATO MOON, Part 37: “The Quest to Restore Oneself” by Daven

potato_moon“SANTORA” faded in the distance and Yukon Gold breathed a sigh of relief.  “Whew, that’s good.  I’d hate to be mashed by El Patata, my brother, since I have this quest to live for now.”

He rode Jakob-the-Holstein and they were making good time, well, good time for a cow, which was barely above a panicked snail’s pace.  Yukon bounced a bit in an attempt to get Jakob to go faster.