Category: Potato Moon

“So what are the three tasks I must complete?” Woeisme asked in a trembling voice. This wasn’t the way things were supposed to happen. Her mother had won over her father by smelling florally and then brooding over her inherent unworthiness for three straight books. Actually doing something in a non-passive, pro-active style really wasn’t in Woeisme’s blood çûm venom.
But for Fig, she would do anything. As long as it wasn’t too hard or involving active effort.

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 56: “The First Task” by Pamela R. Bodziock” →

Hollywood film producer Marty Cowen slapped Bela’s script onto his desk like a dead fish onto a newspaper. He breathed a tired sigh and massaged his eyeballs with his thumb and forefinger, in a futile bid to exorcise his stupidity-inspired migraine.

“Let me get this straight,” he said to the borderline-illiterate emo-Goth sitting on the other side of his desk. “You’re just giving up on the whole ‘One Onion Ring’ story arc? Now? And veering off on some kind of lame, YA-romance subplot when you oughtta be setting up your act-three resolution?”

Bela shifted uncomfortably in her seat, the way she might on a hot summer day when her underwear got all scrunched up. “I’m just writing it the way it happened,” she protested.

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 55: “The Pitch Meeting” by The Other David Mack” →

“Hi there,” greeted the smartly-dressed young man.

Woeisme scrunched her eyebrows in confusion and glanced at her parents. Bela had a warm smile on her face, while Edwood’s stoic expression seemed to signify a quiet annoyance. Something and Jakob were on the verge of tears for slightly different reasons.

Woeisme turned back to her escort. She nervously looked at her feet as her lips let slip a soft, nearly inaudible greeting: “Hi.”

My name’s Fig,” identified the young man. He grinned, displaying the considerable charm that all Mary Sue characters are intended to possess.

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 53: “Date at the Door” by Elliot Campos” →

Note From PAD:  I have to say, considering the challenge thrown down to Elizabeth, I think she responded brilliantly. I think the two most recent chapters have raised the bar, folks.

“You are the very models of performing mediocrities.
I’d summon executioners to poison you like Socrates
But wouldn’t waste the hemlock on such talentless nonentities:
I leave you to the vengeance of the musical Eumenides.
I’ve never sat through anything that was quite such a droning bore.
You couldn’t find the key if it was sticking in your own inn door,
Your phrasing and your pitch are so ear-twistingly inaccurate
If you were my apprentices, I’d give you all the sack, you rats.

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 52 by Elizabeth Graham” →

NOTE FROM PAD:  Brett’s entry is nearly 2400 words, but I’m letting it run at its full length because something this unhinged and that involved this much work shouldn’t be curtailed.

Woeisme sighed.  Aunt Alesse had been drinking again.  Apparently it was a weekday.  That didn’t mean her visions weren’t within the realm of possibility, though.  The notion that a dangerous new player might enter their chaotic lives spurred the girl to action.  Gathering Something in her slipstream—deeply relieved that Something Else was no more than a Wild Turkey feather—Woeisme departed Sullen Manor.  She and her brother needed to find their parents immediately.

Doing so proved ridiculously simple.  This part of faux-Washington State was potato country—distinct from nuclear reactor country and magic castle country, of course.  Everybody knew that Stephen Colbert, the One True Potato, kept a cottage in the area.  Guided tours were available for a bear pelt per adult; children toured for free.  Edwood and Bela were there, like, all the time, and bears were becoming scarce.

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 51: “Once More, With Peeling” by Brett Hudgins” →