Category: Cowboy Pete’s TV Roundup

Obviously the Cowboy is particularly interested in this season since Supergirl is slated to show up. Spoilers below:

Continue Reading “COWBOY PETE SADDLES UP: SMALLVILLE” →

I didn’t think it was possible for any version of Flash Gordon to bore the living crap out of me, but the Sci-Fi Channel managed it.

When BSG was reimagined, Ron Moore removed all the kitschy and campy aspects but replaced it with adult drama and sex. In the case of Flash, the producers likewise removed all the kitschy and campy elements from Flash Gordon, but replaced it with blandness. How colorless was Doctor Zarkov? How staggeringly dull was Ming the Merciless, no longer an evil, vaguely Asian guy but instead an unimposing Caucasian with the amazing ability to convey a total lack of threat. Were the producers REALLY that concerned about protests from Asian groups if they’d portrayed this decades-old iconic character in the classic manner?

And, hey…there was a REASON that Whitney was written out of Smallville: He was colorless and dull. So using him to anchor the series here only succeeds in that, like an anchor, he weighs things down and slows them to a halt.

I wanted to love this series, I really did. I mean, they had me with the prospect of evil aliens invading a bowling alley. (Which I have to think is a tactical mistake on the part of the aliens. If evil aliens showed up on league night standing at the far end of the lanes at my local bowling alley, we’d all just start chucking fifteen pound bowling balls at them.) But the flat writing, miscasting, and non-existent budget sank the pilot episode and I have, frankly, very little hope for subsequent outings.

Is it possible to do a tongue-in-cheek space opera for today’s audience? Sure. The producers of “The Adventures of Captain Zoom,” an underrated cable gem not even available on home video, accomplished that, featuring a lunkheaded hero, a hilariously offhand villain outing by Ron Perlman, a bewildered-looking Nichelle Nichols who didn’t quite seem to understand how she’d wound up there, and a budget of what looked to be $1.79. “Flash Gordon” from those folks would have killed. What we got instead was simply something that killed time, and even that, not very well.

PAD

I think it’s no secret that the old Cowboy isn’t exactly the biggest fan of George W. Bush. So it was with some anticipation that I was looking forward to Comedy Central’s “Lil’ Bush.”

Granted, I was annoyed since I really thought the proper abbreviation is “Li’l.” And I had some trepidation over the notion of taking a cartoon series that was designed as a series of shorts and expanding it into a half hour series. Then again, I was dubious over the prospect of expanding the four foul-mouthed kids from the Santa versus Jesus short making the rounds in Hollywood into “South Park,” and I was wrong about that. So I was willing to give this one a shot.

In “Silence of the Lambs” (yes, this segue is actually relevant) Hannibal Lecter, in giving Clarice a clue about Buffalo Bill’s killing patterns, says, “Doesn’t it seem desperately random to you?”

Watching “Lil’ Bush” for two straight weeks reminds me of that in that it is isn’t simply not funny. It’s desperately not funny. Watching the writers of “Lil’ Bush” go for laughs is like watching a drunk midget in a batting cage swinging at a high fastball: The misses are so wide that the only amusing thing about it is the endeavor, and even then it’s kind of winceworthy.

Out of date before it even got on the air (Lil’ Rumsfeld?), bewildering in its own concept and continuity (George HW Bush is president, but we’re toppling Hussein, there’s an adult Condy Rice and Ðìçk Cheney co-existing with the kid counterparts), tasteless beyond the pale (Lil’ Ðìçk Cheney has sex with Barbara Bush, winds up taking refuge in her uterus and has to be delivered via abortion…yes, you read that right), all I can wonder is: If a Bush-despising liberal who doesn’t mind jokes in poor taste considers it unwatchable, who the hëll is the intended audience for this thing?

PAD

Four major series wrap-up their seasons. Spoilers below. I mean it: Real spoilers. No way to discuss the shows in any meaningful way otherwise.

Continue Reading “COWBOY PETE’S FINALE ROUND-UP: HEROES, LOST, SMALLVILLE, AMERICAN IDOL” →

A serialized drama that’s a genuine quadruple threat: Great writing, great acting, great directing, and it’s not on Fox.

If any of you ever wondered what one of the X-Men films would have been like if they’d adapted “Days of Future Past,” last night’s episode answers that. Spoilers below…

Continue Reading “COWBOY PETE’S TV ROUND-UP: HEROES” →

The most compelling two hours of television in recent memory was Monday from 8 to 10 PM: “Drive” and “Heroes.”

“Drive” literally hit the ground running and didn’t slow down. Incredibly compelling, expertly directed, confidently written, well-acted, Kath and I were immediately pulled in. I mean, sure, the fanboy in me loved the notion that Captain Malcolm Reynolds was married to Winifred Berkel, but there was way more to the series than. WAY more.

By the third episode, I knew. I knew beyond question:

Fox would cancel it.

Why?

Because it’s Fox, the network that wouldn’t recognize a quality show with both hands and a flashlight. If Fox were airing “Heroes,” they would have canceled it by the fourth episode.

After the third episode, I turned to Kath and said, “You realize Fox is going to dump it and we’re never going to find out how any of it ends.”

Sure enough, they just dumped it. One more episode will air next Monday, and two more already in the can will never be broadcast.

They’re idiots. It’s that simple: Idiots.

PAD

Comments on the latest BSG below…

Continue Reading “COWBOY PETE’S “2008?! MOTHERFRAKKER!” EDITION” →