Watch the short film above. Then come back here.
Done? Okay, good. So you know that because we literally don’t have anything better to do, we are putting together an anthology entitled “They Keep Killing Glenn.” Glenn has cheerfully agreed to go along with this, so now it’s just a matter of putting the dámņëd thing together.
Now, you may wonder who’s going to be contributing to this thing. The answer is twofold. First, you can count on all the usual idiots from Crazy 8 Press to kill Glenn in all manner of interesting ways.
Secondly, three names: Stephen King. Neil Gaiman. David Gerrold.
I’ve written to all three of them and none of them replied.
So we’re moving on to the B-list, which is pretty much every other writer out there.
If you are a writer–and by that I mean you’ve had something published that you were paid for–then you are welcome to contribute. Here’s how you do it:
1) Write to my co-editor, Kathleen, on this: t.k.k.glenn@gmail.com.
2) Pitch your method of how you plan to dispatch him. We don’t want to have overlaps.
These are the current means we have of killing Glenn that already are good to go: Drag queen; electricity; comic book boxes; elevator shaft; straight up poison; Sherlock Holmes; defenestration; killed at college; killed at a convention, poker game, comet, stack of books, Groundhog Day, time travel, Garrote, Tesla (person not the car), mythological bed of Procrustes, Flu, Netflix marathon, Wacom Pencil, Tiger, Tesla (car), Motorcycle, Facebook.
Now, you may be wondering how we’re going to pay for this sucker. Where, you wonder, is the inevitable Kickstarter program?
Not gonna do that this time. It was only a year ago that I came to the fans, hat in hand, asking for money to get me out of my snarl with the IRS, and you guys came through.
So not on this occasion. Let’s just say that I will have sufficient money in my pocket to cover the payments and publishing costs.
What are the payments? We are looking for stories from 3000 to 5000 words, for which you will get a princely .04 cents a word.
As of this point, “They Keep Killing Glenn” will make its publishing debut at the Shore Leave convention in July. So if you want to come on board, your story must be delivered by March 31.
Get writing.
PAD
(Get help for me. Please. —GH)
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