Originally published April 5, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1481
Maggie Thompson. A thousand issues of Comics Buyer’s Guide. Whoa. What can be said, I wonder, about Maggie Thompson, that hasn’t already been scribbled on bathroom walls?
Where to begin? The beginning, of course.
So playing at our local movie theater was “The Wizard of Oz” courtesy of TCM. We went to the 2 PM showing.
Featuring an intro and outro by Robert Osborn, it’s always fun to spend a couple of hours with Dorothy and company. But here’s the thing I found most interesting.
Kids were freaking terrified of the witch.
It was remarkably evident that for quite a few viewers, this was the first time they were seeing the movie, and I heard genuine sobbing and whimpers of absolute terror as the witch threatened and menaced Dorothy. When she flipped over the hour glass several kids came close to screaming, managing to choke it off at the last second.
I found that absolutely amazing. With the level of scary things kids are confronted with these days, ranging from TV shows to video games to films to, hëll, the news: Margaret Hamilton in green makeup was still able to reduce kids to tears seventy five years later. Ten years of “Wicked” hasn’t made a dent in the sheer terror that that woman could summon.
I think she’d be thrilled.
That and I STILL think Glinda is a psycho. Why not tell Dorothy the shoes would take her home? “She wouldn’t have believe me. She had to find out for herself.” YES SHE WOULD HAVE BELIEVED YOU, YOU ÃSSHØLÊ.
Jesus.
PAD
Originally published March 29, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1480
AN OPEN LETTER TO BILL JEMAS AND JOE QUESADA:
Well, I gotta tell you guys: Reading that Captain Marvel was going up in price to $2.75, along with other critical favorites/fan snubs Spider-Girl and Black Panther, just gave me a warm, squishy feeling in the pit of my stomach; and that’s a considerable amount of pit.
I know, I know, I could have just called you and discussed this privately. But on the suggestion of a fan, you raised the prices without calling and discussing it with me. So I’m just going to follow your lead and air my thoughts on the matter publicly. And hey, Joe, when you challenged Todd McFarlane, you didn’t do it in a friendly phone call or a telegram. You did it on the Internet. So if Marvel’s leaders have opened the door to handling publishing affairs publicly, then I’m going to follow that lead right through the same door. And yes, at the end of this letter, there will be a challenge, so keep reading.
Originally published March 22, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1479
It is not easy working in a field that is treated by many with unadulterated disdain. A field that is, in fact, often blamed for the deterioration of literary quality across the board, and believed to be bringing ruin and dámņáŧìøņ to us all.
No, surprisingly enough, I’m not talking about comic books. I am speaking instead of media-related novels.
Originally published March 15, 2002, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1478
With Al Gore pointedly re-entering the stage of American politics, we are awash in memories of the extended civics lesson this country received over a year ago. You remember: The one in which we discovered that Your Vote Doesn’t Really Count. You may have thought you were voting for our nation’s leader, but you were wrong, because votes carry little to no force of law. In the words of Doctor Peter Venkman, “It’s actually more of a guideline.”
Now we all know we’re not allowed to complain. We’re at war, after all. Not a declared war, but a war nevertheless. And at such times, we’re not supposed to make the slightest whispered mention of dissatisfaction with the way that the government leaders fighting the war took office (and I do mean “took.”)
So instead, let us focus our energies into a positive direction. A fun, uplifting direction.
You say you feel that one-man, one-vote no longer applies? You say you still have bile in your mouth? You say you want to know that your contribution means something and that casting a vote still counts? You say you want to have direct influence on the destiny of a superteam?
Well, I don’t know why’d you’d be saying that last one, but as it so happens:
YOU’RE IN LUCK!
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