Let’s Get “Smash”-ed

Since it’s not exactly genre, we haven’t discussed the new series “SMASH” which will be wrapping up this coming Monday. So I figure, What the hëll. Let’s do that.

First of all, I’m kind of astounded that the series got on the air in the first place. It’s a show for which Kathleen and I are the target audience, and that’s NEVER a promising endeavor. The ratings for the Tonys indicate that the vast majority of America doesn’t give a dámņ about real Broadway, so why in the world would they be captivated by a TV series about made-up Broadway? If they want to see something on TV about performers struggling for their shot, they’ll put on “The Voice” (the show’s lead-in) or “American Idol” where it’s involving real people, or at least nominally real. Judging by the ratings, viewers more or less haven’t embraced the show, for those reasons and others, and yet NBC has given it a second season pick-up. Which is good, because we’ve been enjoying the hëll out of what has been remarkably schizoid ride. And I mean that in a good way.

Online Identities, Part 1

digresssmlOriginally published April 11, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1221

Once upon a time, one had to be face to face in order to have social intercourse. (Remember, kids, be careful when having social intercourse: When you talk to a person, it’s as if you’re talking to everyone that person ever spoke to.) Now, however, you have the solitude of computer terminals, and are able to hide behind fake names and even fake locations.

And yet the anonymity can have curious and fascinating spin-offs. Herewith an intriguing anecdote of the new age of Isolinear Isolation. However I have changed the names of those involved, either to protect them from further public embarrassment, or else because they’re so obnoxious that I don’t want to give them more of the notoriety that their conduct clearly indicates they crave.

It’s About Bloody Time

I’ve been saying for ages that I didn’t buy for a minute the notion that President Obama had any problems with gay marriage. Not for a moment did I think that a guy whose parents, less than half a century ago, would not have been allowed to marry in some states, would believe that legally keeping people apart who love each other was an acceptable way of doing things. But I think that he was concerned about the political backlash. Me, I think he should have said screw the backlash and just been honest. Then again, that’s easy for me to say, because I wouldn’t have had to worry about going all-in on my political ambitions with this issue. He probably felt he needed to save his political capital for health care, which we all know is rock solid steady and couldn’t possibly be overturned or set aside.

In any event, whether Joe Biden’s honest answer to the question was a trial balloon or simply forced Obama’s hand, it was obvious that his foot-dragging toward an inevitable “reversal” of his “evolving” opinion was going to have to happen sooner rather than later. Based on surveys, the GOP is (once again) on the wrong side of this issue, and the people who pointlessly hate the idea of gay marriage were likely not voting for Obama anyway. So in theory nothing is lost and some good will is gained. The other bit of timing that I liked was that it came in conjunction with North Carolina’s obscenity of an anti-marriage, anti-civil union amendment (which also impacts heterosexuals, so brilliant move there.) North Carolina comes across as so stupid, you’d almost want to joke that it should marry Arizona, except of course that would be illegal. One North Carolina politico claimed that they hoped this would send a message to the rest of the country. Well, I think the President of these United States sent a message right back: everyone who voted for it was wrong.

My one regret is that Obama basically said that it’s still a state issue. I mean, yeah…he’s right. But so was slavery, once upon a time. I wouldn’t have minded him putting forward a case for possibly taking it to the national level. I don’t pretend to understand these things, but I wonder if a class action suit in North Carolina by disenfranchised gays AND straights would be the ticket to a Supreme Court ruling.

PAD

Skippy the Jedi Droid

digresssmlOriginally published March 28, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1219

And now, in celebration of the 20-year anniversary of Star Wars, we present the untold story (well, untold until now) of the single most important individual in the entire trilogy. The individual upon whom the whole story has hinged. And yet, his praises have gone unsung. There are no books about him, no background on him, no notice of him whatsoever in any description of the main points of Star Wars. Hearken to the following tale (a commentary on the series—which is ®, TM, and © Lucasfilm Ltd. and not confirmed by anyone in that organization):

A Long Time Ago… in a Galaxy Far, Far Away…

I Hear This All the Time

That creators shouldn’t get worked up over Internet piracy because, hey, it enables people to sample the work and, by gosh, they will start buying it. And you’ll find plenty of people who will attest to doing just that.

But then there’s the guy who J.K. Woodward–sitting at the adjacent table right now at the Wildpig convention in New Jersey–told me about, who came up to him at the New York Comic Con. The fan was waxing effusively about J.K.’s work on FALLEN ANGEL, and how much he enjoyed his work…and then felt constrained to add, “I don’t actually buy it. I download it. But it’s great!”

You wonder how someone can be that clueless. Well, it’s easy: the massive sense of entitlement amongst some Internet denizens. People who would never think of shoplifting a comic book from a store do not hesitate to take advantage of stolen goods. Why should they feel any kind of shame when it does not occur to them that they are screwing the publisher and creators out of money? They cannot distinguish between, say, free online content provided by newspapers and pirate sites where they can browse through illegal downloads.

And it’s only going to get worse. Because the current generation of users has witnessed the rise of pirate sites and makes use of them without the slightest intention of providing remuneration for the creators, rationalizing it all the way. The next generation is going to grow up with theft as the norm. No excuses necessary. And if you don’t think that’s going to have a long-term negative impact on publishing, you are quite simply kidding yourself.

Because for every nimrod who’s shameless enough to tell creators point blank, “I love getting your work for free,” I’ll wager there’s plenty who are doing the same thing and just keeping their mouths shut. Because they know what they’re doing is wrong. And they do it anyway.

PAD

The Best Comics Fangasm Movie Ever (Pretty much spoiler free)

“What’s the best superhero” film ever made is a question endlessly debated with no concrete answer. There’s too many subcategories. You want fealty to the spirit of the source material? “Spider-Man.” You want the best performance of an iconic hero? Chris Reeves’ “Superman.” Comic strips? “The Phantom.” Most street cred with the Academy? “Dark Knight.” And so on.

But for pure fangasm…for a comic book superhero film that will not leave a dry seat in the house (metaphorically, one hopes)…you simply cannot beat “The Avengers.”

Star Wars plot holes

digresssmlOriginally published March 21, 1997, in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1218

[Editor’s note: Last week, Peter David, writer of stuff, pointed out that there’s a plot concept missing in Star Wars that, as he wrote, “didn’t even exist when the film came out two decades ago.”]

Consider, if you will, the universe of Star Wars.

They have spaceships.

They have faster-than-light drive.

They have blasters.

They have lightsabers.

They have satellites capable of reducing an entire planet to rubble instantly.

They have land speeders. They have All-Terrain Armored Transports (AT-ATs). They have robots in a variety of shapes and sizes, capable of independent thought and action—basically, artificial intelligence. They have laser crossbows. They have cities in the clouds. They have suspended animation capability wherein they can put you to sleep inside carbonite, thaw you out, and you’re none the worse for wear except for the shakes and blurred vision. They have force fields, holographic chess, and high-speed air bikes.

What haven’t they got?