Poo poo poo

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

See, I want to write all this effusive stuff about Kathleen because it’s our wedding anniversary today. We’ve been together eleven years and I want to write about how much she means to me and how I wouldn’t be able to get through days without her, and how my life only makes sense when I’m with her.

But I’m having real trouble doing so and for a while I wasn’t sure why. I mean, normally writing about stuff isn’t difficult for me at all. It’s kind of, y’know…my thing. But I found myself stymied, and especially after reading her lengthy testament to me over on her own blog. Why would I have trouble with writer’s block over something like this?

After giving it some thought, I think I’ve determined why.

I think it’s because I’m Jewish.

See, here’s the thing: as one would expect from a people whose biggest holiday involves spending three hours in synagogue apologizing for sins while not eating, and whose country has been under siege pretty much non-stop from the day they hung up the “Open For Business” sign, we have a knee-jerk tendency to (as Mel Brooks notably wrote) hope for the best but expect the worst. This is so ingrained that if someone shows off their newborn infant, and you say “What a beautiful baby” within earshot of your great grandmother, she will immediately say “Poo poo poo.” Complimenting a baby, according to tradition, risks attracting the attention of the Evil Eye,which abominates beautiful children and will do horrible things, up to and including taking the child in its sleep. So either you say, “What an ugly baby” to make sure the Evil Eye doesn’t notice, or else–if someone should thoughtlessly say something flattering, say “poo poo poo” to ward off the Evil Eye. (Hence the lasting popularity of A.A. Milne’s work in Jewish families.)

So I now realize the reason I internally flinch at the prospect of talking about how happy I am, and how wonderful and patient and loving and caring and giving Kathleen is. How wonderful she has been not only as a constant, dependable and steady maternal presence for my three older girls, but also how much joy I feel for the beautiful (poo poo poo) youngest daughter she gave me nine years ago. Because if I talk about all that, I can’t shake the fear that the Evil Eye will be reading this blog and say, “Challenge accepted!”

So instead I will simply confine myself to saying that I love her and can’t imagine life without her.

Poo poo poo.

PAD

28 comments on “Poo poo poo”

  2. One school of Jewish thought certainly works that way. Another is somewhat the opposite – it says that if you complain that things are rough, The Lord says “If you think -that- was rough, I’ll show you rough!” and things get rougher; so also if you say “Things are wonderful!” The Lord says “You think -that’s- wonderful? I’ll show you wonderful!” and things get, well, wonderfuller.

    I’m sure you’re shocked that a fellow Jew had an opinion on the topic.

  4. The evil eye is an utter luddite and does not use the internet. Happy anniversary. See you in a few!

    1. Your great grandmother was the incarnation of the superstition. She went thermonuclear when she found out your name was going to be “Shana” (which, for those who don’t know, means “pretty.”) She was convinced that the Evil Eye would come gunning for you with both barrels because you had such a boastful name.

      PAD

  5. Kinehora!!

    I’ll go Welsh this year!

    Wishing you a house full of sunshine, hearts full of cheer, love that grows deeper each day of the year.

  6. May your miserable life continue to be fraught with pain and hate, and all your ugly, misshapen progeny remain the disappointing, simpering morons you deservedly spawned!
    (There! That oughta fool ol’ EE!) 😉 Congratulations!

  10. Congrats on your anniversary, wonderful family, and conquest of your writer’s block. (And as an agnostic, I’m iffy that this will bring bad luck on y’all.)

  12. Well, I’m not Jewish…
    However if I understand the tradition correctly, and please tell me if I got it wrong, you’ll understand my intent by expressing my wishes in the following manner:

    Yup.

    Mitch Evans

  15. I thought the Black Knight destroyed the Evil Eye.

    Seriously, I’m glad to know your fairy tale is still having its happily every after.

  16. Congratulations to the whole clan and, as others have written, wishes for many more of the same.

    However, it’s true,. one doesn’t have to be Jewish …

    Michel ‘Greg’ Regnier is one of my favourite comic writer/artists, his ACHILLE TALON strip having caused hours of hilarity over the decades and in one, the titular character is having an uncharacteristically good day but, as he’s walking down the street, he’s being spied on by a rather unhealthy-looking elderly gentleman (if that’s the word) garbed in a white robe and looking down at him with a small telescope from up in the clouds, cackling “This one’s mine” as the writer (Greg) notes “Fate isn’t as blind as people make him out to be.” And yes, calamity ensues soon after.

  22. Mr. and Mrs. David,

    Please allow me to add my belated well-wishes to the others here. I tend to check your site at the office and was out on the actual day. I hope that the two of you, as well as the rest of the family, see much happiness in the years to come.

    Technical Evil Eye question: is expressing wishes that things will be good in the future supposed to attract the Eye or is it only expressing happiness that things have been good up to the present?

  23. To quote an old toast I’d heard years ago at a Ren Faire:

    “May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.”

    Mazel tov!

  24. Funny, from the moment I read the headline, I knew where this one was headed….

  25. Soooooo…. why 3 movies, couldn’t Gandalf or Elrond say “poo poo poo” and save us 7-9 hrs.? 8)

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