I Think This Needs to be said to Herman Cain

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

I was holding back while all the charges about sexual harassment were being made, but now that Cain is supposedly out of the running, there’s something fairly candid that I believe needs to be said:

Your pizza sucks.

I tried it a few years ago and it was inedible. Harassment? Your pizza harassed my taste buds. It should change its name from “Godfather’s Pizza” to “Godawful Pizza.”

Seriously.

PAD

55 comments on “I Think This Needs to be said to Herman Cain”

  1. .
    True, but the same could be said for Pizza Hut, Dominos, Little Caesars, Papa John’s and just about any other chain pizza joint. The only really good pizza joints I’ve ever been in were hole in the wall places where the owner or the cook still spoke broken English or just Italian.

    1. I’m the opposite, Jerry. I like franchise pizza better. Then again, mom ‘n pop pizza is more affordable.

      1. I’m not sure about all Little Caesars (because no matter what they say I think it still depends on the cook), but the Little Caesars around here is REALLY good. Oh man. I love that pizza. And its only FIVE BUCKS! A pizza for five bucks?! Come on! Thats a great price. And we not talking about a small pizza here. These pizzas are pretty good sized. And their lunch deal during the week is great. One very big slice of pizza, a soda, a cookie, and crazy bread for THREE dollars. Great lunch.

        Haven’t had Godfathers in forever. It was OK. Not great. Pizza Hut has mostly gone down hill. Haven’t tried Dominos since they’ve changed & Papa Johns was way too greasy last time I had it.

        So I’ll go with Little Caesars. Haven’t run into a good hole in the wall place around here…(and even if I did, I’m sure they couldn’t beat the $5 price).

      2. Someone named LUIGI likes franchise pizza better?
        .
        Fairly certainly that’s one of the warning signs of the apocalypse.
        .
        As for Cain, my favorite headline so far has been “Herman Cain suspends campaign to spend more time with your wife.”

    2. I’ve always said – “There’s nothing like the smell of a good pizzeria. And Domino’s smells nothing like a good pizzeria.”

    3. Pizza Hut and Papa John’s are delicious. I haven’t had decent pizza in almost a year. I wouldn’t kill for it, but I’m getting to the point where I’d slap someone around a little for some Pizza Hut pizza.

      1. Y’know, I just had a feeling that people would harp on me because of my ethnic heritage after I said that, and I had to go and say it anyway.
        .
        .
        Racists. All of ya.
        .
        I wonder if you’d say that same thing to a Latino who claimed to like Taco Bell.
        .
        .
        🙂

      2. .
        Taco Bell? You’re a sick man, [Hypothetical Latino Person,] a very, very sick man…

  2. Godfather’s hasn’t really been Godfather’s for a long time. In the early 80s it was the best chain out there. Basically, it started going downhill right around the time Cain entered the picture.

    1. .
      “In the early 80s it was the best chain out there.”
      .
      Which really isn’t saying a lot in and of itself. Besides, I remember the 80s. It was above average, but nothing special.

  3. I’d agree with Jerry: Most pizza chains are fairly weak when it comes to pizza, while more personal places make much better pizza.

    And, of course, PAD lives in NY, which probably has the best pizza outside of Italy.

    1. No,no. The best NY pizza still isn’t anywhere near as satisfying as a good Chicago deep dish.

      2. I concur with Malcolm. NYC may have been where pizza was born in America…but Chicago is where it came to maturity and the peak of its power!

      3. I was raised in the Rust Belt in a large Neapolitan community, relocated to the midwest (St. Louis) at a young age, settled in KC, and have been over pretty much every part of the country in my travels (save for New England).

        If there’s anything I’ve learned about pizza (arguably my favorite food), it’s this:

        1. I’ve had some of the worst pizza in larger cities in establishments that are locally very popular.

        2. Some of the best pizza I ever had was from a general pizzeria/diner-type establishment in Arco, Idaho (way the hëll out west). Can’t remember the name; looks like a big, slightly yellow house on the outside.

        3. I know a lot of folks in St. Louis love their “St. Louis Style” pizza; they don’t know what they’re talking about. Avoid at all costs.

        4. Chain pizza, like chain hamburgers and tacos, are a last resort – not a dealbreaker; if I’ve been on the road for a while and had no other options, and I haven’t eaten all day, I’m not above grabbing a slice of Pizza Hut or anything like that (hëll, my first job ever was making and baking pies at a Little Caesars).

        5. I find that the vast majority of “hole in the wall” pizza joints vary in quality, but are almost always great. Double points if they have a 25 to 30 year-old sit-down classic arcade game table near the front.

  4. Speaking as an Atlantan (and Georgia Tech non-grad), i have to mention The ‘Shroom – the Mellow Mushroom.
    .
    It’s a chain.
    .
    And if it weren’t so bloody expensive these days, we’d eat there more often.
    .
    Johnny’s is pretty good, too.
    .
    (Used to have a bumper sticker that said “M^2 = ∏”…)

    1. .
      None conveniently located near me, but several along the drive I take to Bill’s. I might test your statement (if maybe just to nitpick it later.)
      .
      🙂

    2. Speaking as a suburbs of Atlantan; Yeah, Mellow Mushroom is really farking good pie.

      Johnny’s though? I’ll pass. I used to work at one, and I only ate the food because I was only making $100 a week.

      Since you’re local, try the Oz in East Point.

      1. Yes, Oz is really good pizza, as is Mellow Mushroom. Up here in Habersham county is a great place called Chicago’s, yet it has various crust types other than the Chicago style (I always wondered why they call it Chicago’s, yet the pizza’s so dámņëd good I don’t care) and very fresh ingredients. Not all chain pizzas are bad, and it does depend on where you go as different cooks may care more or less than others. I will still eat Pizza Hut on occasion, I totally despise Dominos now for their piss poor customer service all the way up to the top, I eat Papa John’s on occasion, but it’s gone downhill a bit, Little Caesar’s is good for five bucks, but nowhere near the best. I used to like one called Hungry Howie’s when I lived in Florida, and there was a nice independent “hole in the wall” one that I went to one time that had a pizza that was two feet in diameter. Those were some large slices, I tell you! Then there’s the pizza I make at home which I like best when I have the time to do it! ; )

  6. Sorry, PAD, but the President beat you to the punch:

    Pres_Bartlet Josiah Bartlet
    Herman Cain would not have made a good President. As the CEO of Godfather’s Pizza he couldn’t even make a good pizza.
    18 hours ago

    🙂

      1. No, but I might’ve seen that one too via a retweet or share on Facebook.
        .
        I can’t recall whether I’ve ever had Godfather’s Pizza or not. That might’ve been the place we went to once or twice in the town we lived in in Iowa while I was in college. That place was *obviously* special since I cannot recall the name of it. 😀

  7. True Confession Time: I love a thin n’ crispy Pizza Hut pie with sausage, onion, and black olive. It would never be my first choice, but I like it just fine.

    Of course, I also dig frozen pizza so maybe my opinion should be discarded…

  8. Is there really a pizza place called THe Mellow Mushroom? Honest? It sounds like a sixties coffeehouse. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    1. Founded early 70s by three Georgia Tech engineering students – the original location was about one block off campus. Spring and Fourth, i think – (maybe Third).
      .
      Now operating more than 100 locations in fifteen states.
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      The places are decorated 60s hippie style, more or less.

    3. While the Shroom is pretty good, my favourite pizza (last time i was there, some years back – don’t know if it’s still there, but i bet it is) was Savage Pizza in Little Five Points; the interior decor consists of four-foot-high hand-painted reproductions of classic Marvel covers, and they offer all sorts kinds good stuff.
      .
      Best “chain” (three locations, last i heard) is Fellini’s (also one in L5P {i think it’s still there}, one in Buckhead and one on Northside Drive just outside the Perimeter).

      1. Mellow Mushrrom is good. Love the one in Jacksonville, FL. Try Hideaway Pizza (the original is in Stillwater, OK. Though there are a few in Oklahoma City now too). Excellent pie. And better than the Shroom.

        TAC

      2. .
        http://www.mellowmushroom.com/#/menu
        .
        They have a selection of beers that runs up to 600 different ones across their various locations? Seriously? Does anyone actually go there to eat, or is the food and the food’s “tasting great” come as an after effect of going after the beers?

      3. It was there as of 2004, when I graduated from Emory. And their Pizza was good.

        Loved Mellow Mushroom, too.

  9. That proves exactly why America needs him. If Cain can sell that crap, he must be a financial genius who can save the economy.

  10. Joe – Mellow Mushroom was also in Athens GA and was a mainstay of my college years in the 90s. Great pizza and beer. Fun place.

    Used to love Little Caesars as a kid in the 80s. Not sure what it’s like now. Papa John’s was also pretty good. I have no experience with Godfather’s but It wouldn’t surprise me if Cain went for cheap with the result being bad pizza.

    1. The Godfather’s on Bufor Highway was pretty good – ASFiC (Atlanta Sf Club) used to hit it en masse after meetings; they were willing to make pizzas with the (relatively) fresh mushrooms intended for the salad bar.
      .
      Sons of Italy (originally out of Athens) was really good pizza over Marietta way. I think it’s been gone for years..
      .
      Currently Kate and i rather like Little Italy in Gainesville (GA) – another Athens-based mini-chain. (But we’re more likely to get their sandwiches than pizza these days…)

  11. One of my happiest memories of a pizza place comes from Godfather’s Pizza, although it’s specifically of someone breaking the rules for me. I was one of the only people in the restaurant at Columbia, Mo., for lunch one day in 1995 because about 20 inches of snow had fallen a few days earlier, and the city needed time to bounce back. The guy at the counter rang up my buffet order; “and with the free drink and the 30 percent discount for today’s conference, that comes to…”

    “I’m not in a conference,” I said.

    He gave me kind of a stern look, and repeated more slowly. “With the free drink and the 30 percent discount for people in *the conference*…”

    That meant a lot to a poor college kid. However…it looks like that restaurant is now closed, and my much more recent memory is of a Godfather’s in Tennessee with a shoddy interior and food that was mediocre at best. I was on a road trip with a college friend, and I wound up ashamed that I suggested we stop there for Sunday lunch.

  12. I stopped eating chain pizza except when traveling when all the crusts began tasting sweet — a sure sign the dough had not risen enough. These days I make pizza for lunch every other week.

  13. I went to college at NYU, where there were so many great pizza places within walking distance: St. Mark’s, Ben’s, Rays (at 6th and 11th) that I couldn’t understand why people would order from Domino’s. I’d rather walk out to one of those places on a 5-degree morning than have the Domino’s delivered.

  14. There’s a Village Host Pizza in my neighborhood.

    Still like Round Table Pizza.

    Also fond of Little Casesar.

    Haven’t been to a Domino’s in a while. 🙁

  15. Another vote for Pepe’s Pizza just outside of New Haven.

    Chicago pizza is a whole other animal and is great for those who like that kind of pizza but I still crave Pepe’s.

    Kath “The Wife” David

      1. If we include Brooklyn we also have Totonno’s and DiFara’s, either of which are euphoria for the taste buds.

      1. Geeze – i haven’t been to L5P in years. Wonder how the gang at Wax ‘n’ Facts are?

  16. I’m just hopeful that I can finally stop waiting for someone to say “Here I am! Rock you like I’m Herman Cain”.

  17. It must just be nostalgia for me. I look back fondly on eating at Godfathers Pizza as a kid, and several of my friends and I have lamented that there are no longer any Godfathers in the area. The lack of availability has probably helped keep the memory happy.

  18. What I found interesting about the emergence of a mistress for Herman Cain was its strong parallels to Orson Welles’ 1941 film “Citizen Kane”: A successful businessman and strong presidential hopeful named “Kane” done-in by the discovery of a long-time mistress. That, my friends, is a classic case of life imitating art.

  19. I have never had Godfather’s pizza. There has never been one around where I lived. However, though I found them edible, I generally find any chain pizza, be it Domino’s, Pizza Hit, Little Caesar’s, etc to be substandard.
    .
    Of course, I’ve had the good fortune to live in an area – near Scranton – that still has Italians make up a large percentage of it’s population. So real good, quality mo-and-pop pizza shops are plentiful…with names like Luigi’s, Domenick’s, Colarusso’s and Pizza by Poppas..and don’t even get me started on the places that serve “tomato pie”..it makes my mouth water just thinking about it 🙂

  21. The Godfather pizza thing didn’t impress me about Herman Cain. I think his most valuable contribution to this primary was getting the other candidates talking about real tax reform. His 9-9-9 plan was far from perfect, but it did motivate the other campaigns to come up with their own plans and put them out there for us to see.

  22. I am appalled at Herman Cain having been driven from the Republican nomination race because of allegations of sexual harassment.
    .
    This is the man who said that as President, one of his main goals would be to prevent China from getting nuclear weapons. (Not an interpretation run through some pundit – those were his exact words.) This is the man who, when challenged about something in a bill, said, and I quote, “I’m a leader, not a reader.”
    .
    He should have been driven out for levels of ignorant arrogance above and beyond even the standards of the modern Republican Party (which is currently engaged in bashing Obama’s health care plan, which was first drafted back in the mid-’90s by a congressman named Gingrich). But no, everyone fixates on these accusations, which might not even be true.
    .
    Oh, yeah, and his pizza sucks. Godfather’s used to make okay pizza, at least for a franchise, until sometime after Cain took the helm.

    1. He should have been driven out for levels of ignorant arrogance above and beyond even the standards of the modern Republican Party
      .
      Well, if that’s the standard, then the current lot all need to drop out.

  23. “Republican Party (which is currently engaged in bashing Obama’s health care plan, which was first drafted back in the mid-’90s by a congressman named Gingrich”

    “Obamacare” is a bad idea, regardless of the past. I’d rather have sound policy decisions at the expense of ‘consistency’ compared to past situations.

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