Month: May 2009

“You know,” Jakob growled, still holding her as he ran full-force through the woods, “if you had just dumped Edwood in book two, none of this would be happening right now! But no-o! You had to fly across the ocean and stop him!”

“How dare you tell me what I should and should not do!” Bela shouted back, struggling to get out of his grip. “He was going to kill himself over his love for me! I had to stop him! We were meant to be!”

Jakob held her tighter. “Edwood’s nothing but trouble!”

“Speak for yourself!”

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 26 by Jennifer Volpe” →

Jakob was filled with nerves and a primal fear of getting anywhere close to Ðìçk Cheney while still looking like a were-chicken, which just happens to look astonishingly similar to a monster-sized quail.

He struggled to change back to his human, or at least a shape close enough to it, form as he spoke out…

“How could you possibly go up against Quayle, the Potato King? You don’t have that sort of power!”

Ðìçk Cheney snickered loudly in only a way Ðìçk Cheney knows how, guttural and terrible, frightening and sublime. Every newborn baby in a twenty mile radius went blind, all the livestock in that same area fell under a mysterious disease, and thunder crackled in the distance announcing a coming storm. The group did not learn of all this until a later date, but it wasWoeisme that, in act of mixed discomfort and despair, interrupted the snicker that seemed to go on for an eternity.

“Jakob, you clearly don’t know Ðìçk!” she said in a manner that was just a tad louder than she intended.

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 25 by Matt “Ampersand” Duarte” →

With some of the craziness cleared up, Edwood and Bela
embraced like the not-quite-so-young lovers trying their hardest to reestablish
the early dew-eyed phases of their puppy love that they had become. Edwood stared at
Bela, who stared back at him. If only, he thought, there had been one
spelling of “vampire.” No, wait. “Vampyre?” Oh no…

If only, she thought, if only our lives were as uncomplicated as a potatoe…simple,
but able to take so many forms, each enjoyed by so many people on a daily
basis, from the poorest wage-slave to the richest CEO! (This message paid for by the World
Potatoe Farmers for World Domination, not to be confused with the World Potato
Farmers for World Domination.)

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 24, by Chris Gottschalk” →

NOTE FROM PAD: Richard came up to the hairy edge with character names here, but I let it go because–although he used a popular alias for the individual in question–it’s not the character’s real name..

The stranger whipped out a black billfold from his pocket and flashed
the contents at the confused foursome.

“As you can see here, I am Dr. John Smith, licensed potato inspector
for this county and you have clearly run into a doozy.”

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 23 by Richard DiTullio” →

The Honda Civic practically buried itself into the driveway of Sullen Manor as Edwood leaped from the driver’s seat, barely bothering to shift the car into park. Jakob, Woeisme, and Something nearly trampled over each other trying to exit the car as Edwood hit the front steps of the porch within three bounds.

“Hey, Dad!” Something cried out. “Think we ought to have a plan before we just go busting in there?”

Without the slightest pause in his movement, Edwood turned his head ever so slightly to his son. “That is the plan!”

Continue Reading “POTATO MOON, Part 22 by Mark C. Dooley” →