Obama just lost my vote

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

A 37? The man bowled a 37 during a campaign stop in Altoona?
How in God’s name am I supposed to get behind a man who rolls a 37? Caroline bowls better than that, and she’s five. I mean, okay, granted, Obama can probably tell a joke better than she can. Her most recent endeavor which she told me just now:
“Daddy! Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Banana!”
“Banana who?”
“Banana chair!” (followed by hysterical laughter)
Yeah. Anyway..
Thirty seven? Out of a possible 300?
Yo, Senator: Here’s a bowling hint. That curved, deep wood channel on either side of the lane? The object is to keep your ball OUT of that.
I saw pictures of him in his endeavors. The man has no form at all. Even worse, he’s a lefty.
Open invitation, Senator: Come to New York, I’ll work with you for an hour, and we’ll have you rolling strikes in no time. Until then…
Thirty seven? Good lord, we have to have SOME standards for a president.
PAD

113 comments on “Obama just lost my vote”

  1. Thirty…seven.
    I have to wonder if there’s some cosmic significance to that.
    But then, I also have to wonder about the jokes. Brian’s current favorite is just like Caroline’s, except it finishes “Banana nose!” or occasionally “Banana eyeball!”

  3. PAD-
    I know you’re being facetious. He’s got bigger fish to fry than slinging an 8 pound sphere down a lane. To project that facet on to a broader cloth is Rovian fallacy at work.
    e.g ” He’s a lousy bowler so he must be a lousy President”
    Some people just don’t bowl. A 37 though ,jeez that is pretty pathetic as a score, but I’m not much better.

  5. I’m pretty sure he’d never bowled before, PAD, you’re gonna hold that against him.
    From what I’ve read he spent more time on the court than the lanes.
    Let’s see you play some 1 on 1 with him.
    Chicken Butt > Banana Chair

  6. All of those years practicing his synchronized swimming, only for the first black winner of the Iowa caucuses to lose it over a 37 game of bowling.

  7. At least there’s a lane in the basement of the White House. He’ll have plenty of time to practice.
    “It’s 3 a.m. There’s a seven-ten split in the White House….”

  9. I’m ashamed to admit it, but the first thing I thought when I heard his bowling score was “I’m looking forward to reading what Peter has to say about that.” 🙂

  10. First of all…an eight pound ball? That’s what an eight year old rolls with. Ariel shoots a fourteen pound ball, and I use a fifteen pound. A man of normal strength should wind up flinging an eight pound ball halfway down the lane.
    And yeah, he’d probably kill me in basketball. Then again, he’s over six feet tall. Slight advantage there that no amount of training on my part is going to overcome.
    And yes, Obama has bowled before. Just not for thirty years. That, to me, is a shocking lapse.
    Don’t know about Hillary, but Bill Clinton bowls, and bowls well. Just sayin’.
    PAD

  11. Even worse, he’s a lefty.
    HEY! As a southpaw, I’m duty-bound to resent that. (Of course, I also bowl better than a 37. Not a whole LOT better, mind you…)
    And Katherine’s just gotten into knock-knock jokes too. A sample:
    “Knock knock.”
    “Who’s there?”
    “Nobody.”
    “Nobody who?”
    “Nobody bibble zibble cuckoo heads!” (laughs)
    TWL

  12. Okay…
    Proud uncle time.
    My Sister-In-Law was driving their family to meet my brother at the Air Force Base and she got behind a car with a Crimson Tide bumper sticker. Well, something I didn’t know was that the Tide’s mascot is an elephant. Well, Sister-In-Law just says out load “Why is their mascot an elephant?”
    Two and half year old neice (in the back) replys “Well, they had a hippo but they lost it.”
    Rimshot.
    And as for me… for golfing I have a great bowling score and for bowling I have a great golfing score.
    Travis

  13. Well–to be fair, it was only seven frames.
    Still pretty sad, though. However, considering that I’m just as bad at basketball as he is at bowling…I shouldn’t really say anything…

  18. Great April 1st post, PAD.
    Only thing I can say about Obama’s bowing skills…. I may have a slight chance to beat him. Though that might be in question, too.

  20. If americans could elect a president because they felt they could share a beer with him…
    …wont they elect one who they can share a bowling night and be certain they will win?

  22. I once bowled a ONE. All gutterballs and one pin.
    Much to my dad’s everlasting shame and disappointment. (He was captain of the bowling team in high school.) Bowling means so much to him that when I came home for my first visit in five months, he went bowling rather than come to my homecoming dinner. I sh!t you not.
    A 37? That man is my bowling GOD.

  23. I have to wonder if there’s some cosmic significance to that.
    It wasn’t 42, so no. 🙂

  24. Using a black bowling ball to smash apart a group of white pins is old politics. Obama is an agent of change in this world, and wants to serve America by uniting rather than knocking down. Let his opponents describe being outside the usual alleys as being in the gutters.
    Besides, his ball had holes in it.

  25. It wasn’t 42, so no. 🙂
    You know, I think I’d feel better if it was a 42. That might mean he had some real answers for us… IF we could remember our questions. 😉

  26. I love Caroline’s joke. Maybe it’s just the fact that she’s five, but I laughed pretty hard when I read that.

  28. Besides, his ball had holes in it.
    From DINOSAURS, if anybody remembers that:
    “Who filled in the holes in my bowling ball? Oh, wait, never mind — here’s some more.”
    TWL

  30. Maybe he grew up playing candlepins. I know that with my ten pin hook, I can’t bowl candlepins to save my life.

  31. …but Bill Clinton bowls, and bowls well.
    There’s a naughty joke there somewhere….

  32. HEY! As a southpaw, I’m duty-bound to resent that. (Of course, I also bowl better than a 37. Not a whole LOT better, mind you…)
    My fault, I wasn’t clear on that. I’m a lefty, so that was more a matter of injured lefty pride rather than a diss of lefties.
    It’s bad enough that Scarborough calls his bowling “dainty” and “prissy.” And Chris Matthews emotes that “the fact that he’s good at basketball doesn’t surprise anybody.” “But the fact that he’s that terrible at bowling does make you wonder,”
    Yeah, that was idiotic. My issue with his form was based on his mechanics, such as that he wasn’t bringing his arm through properly. I wasn’t using it as a means of challenging his masculinity. I’ll bet anything that Scarborough and Matthews can’t bowl for crap either. As for “dainty,” have you ever watched any of the pro women bowlers? Graceful and feminine in their delivery and still capable of shredding the rack with the best of them.
    PAD

  33. I think I read that along with the White House cinema there is a White House bowling lane. So send him to Washington so he can get some practice in.

  35. “shredding the rack with the best of them.”
    Peter, isn’t that what got Bill Clinton in trouble?

  36. I’m a lefty, so that was more a matter of injured lefty pride rather than a diss of lefties.
    Fair enough; thanks for the clarification. Not that I was gigantically offended, but it certainly helps to know.
    TWL

  39. Shedding the rack? Slurping the rack maybe…
    OKOK… now we are just being juvenile!

  40. “The man has no form at all. Even worse, he’s a lefty.”
    So you’re a southpaw, too. And so is Obama. Nice to know that being left-handed doesn’t mean you have no chance for success in this world.
    In my late teens and early twenties i bowled some; it was always fun to watch the kid behind the counter when i asked for left-handed shoes. (For the benefit of those who have never bowled, this is not an April Fool – there really *is* such a thing as a pair of left-handed bowling shoes.)
    Drove my dad to desperation trying to teach me – for some reason i threw a “Brooklyn” hook that broke the wrong way for a lefty.
    Never was interested enough to get my own ball, and with the size of my hands (especially my thumbs) i usually wound up having to use a top-weight house ball in order to get one that didn’t try to pull me down the lane with it when my thumb stuck.
    Never did get really good.
    A story about holes in bowling balls:
    The Miller Lite campaign featuring sports type guys (and Mickey Spillane, for some reason) included one spot in which a girl brought a bowling ball up to Buba Smith, and said “Hey – this one doesn’t have holes in it!” and Bubba went “No problem” – Crunch! – and poked holes in it with his fingers.
    The ball was rigged with tissue pasted over the holes and treated with lacquer to make it stiff and shiny. Billy Martin and Spillane swiped the ball, got another that really *didn’t* have holes in it, and marked it with circles drawn in grease pencil like the gimmicked ball.
    Bubba takes the gaffed ball, stabs his fingers – hard – into what’s supposed to be breakaway tissue paper…
    It’s claimed he bowled a strike overhand.

  41. As Jim McClain observes, this number has special significance to some of us. I think this was just Obama masterfully reaching out to the Kevin Smith fanbase.

  42. (For the benefit of those who have never bowled, this is not an April Fool – there really *is* such a thing as a pair of left-handed bowling shoes.)
    Is that anything like a left-handed spanner?
    TWL

  43. In my late teens and early twenties i bowled some; it was always fun to watch the kid behind the counter when i asked for left-handed shoes. (For the benefit of those who have never bowled, this is not an April Fool – there really *is* such a thing as a pair of left-handed bowling shoes.)
    Sure is. I own a pair, with the right sole and heel (my sliding foot) designed differently from the left.
    PAD

  44. Peter, how long before you think Hillary or the right wing will actually use this as a reason why Obama shouldn’t be President?

  45. Richard Nixon bowled back to back 300 games. Is that who you want for President PAD?
    Yes I’m aware it’s a Simpson gag.

  46. Luigi: “Peter, how long before you think Hillary or the right wing will actually use this as a reason why Obama shouldn’t be President?”
    She already has. There is even video of the press conference.
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23903195/
    Personally, I think Obama should take the offer. It would be harder to think of the campaign as negative if they’re getting together to bowl a game.

  48. I’d have to have a smackdown on the staffer who arranged that photo op. I mean if you have never bowled in your life (and I have a horrible hook) you would think you could get closer to 100+.
    I’m waiting for him to show off his shooting skills to get that NRA vote.

  49. Posted by: Steve Chaput
    I’m waiting for him to show off his shooting skills to get that NRA vote.
    I don’t know – he might accidentally miss the hunter and hit the quail, and that would look bad.

  50. Personally, I think Obama should take the offer. It would be harder to think of the campaign as negative if they’re getting together to bowl a game.
    So long as she accepts his inevitable offer of “H.O.R.S.E.”, I’d pay to see that.

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