Month: September 2007

…and they will…I’m thinking “The Lost Season” for the title.

Or maybe just “Choke.”

PAD

Abbyshot replicas is this really cool outfit that makes replicas of movie costumes. I’m getting myself one of the coats I’m shown wearing above: It’s a replica of the coat that Harrison Ford wore as Deckard in “Blade Runner.” The cool thing about it is that it’s made of this astounding material that sheds water like nothing I’ve ever seen, so it’s an ideal raincoat (they also make a version made of more normal material for those who want to have that beaten up, rumpled “Blade Runner” look.) They also make Mal Reynolds coats, that yellow jacket Uma Thurman wore in “Kill Bill,” and other stuff. Check it out. Abbyshot

PAD

I’m hoping they don’t make it into the post-season.

This has gone beyond agonizing or embarrassing. This is just sad. Being swept by the NATIONALS? The lowest scoring team in the league and they’re averaging nine runs a game? What’s going to happen when they go up against teams that actually don’t suck?

If somehow within the next week they get their act together and actually capture the league championship rather than back into it because the Phillies lose, then maybe…MAYbe. But as it stands now, the Mets missing out on postseason play would be a mercy killing.

PAD

I’d love to stage my own version of Ahmadinejad’s speech at Columbia and have it be like a Seinfeld monologue. Just have him saying basically the actual things he said, but on a small comedy club stage, with the Sienfeld cadences, and the little music pops. “We don’t have homosexuals in Iran.” (roar of laughter) “Why are you laughing? That’s not funny! None of this is funny! Like…what’s all this talk about the Holocaust? It needs more research!” (even more laughter) “Stop laughing! This is serious!” (music pops)

Although, to be fair, his phrasing (well, the translator’s phrasing) was accurate: “In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country.” That is true. In our country, homosexuals can openly lobby for the right to marry without being…oh, what’s the phrase…executed by the government.

Y’know, say what you will about Hitler…at least his name was easy to spell and pronounce.

PAD

My parents are selling theirs, in Eastern Montgomery County, PA. Five bedroom ranch, in-ground swimming pool, deck, living room, dining room, kitchen, rec room, full basement…plus, hey, I lived there for a few years, so there’s bragging rights. Absolutely gorgeous property.

Anyone interested, please e-mail me at padguy@aol.com and I’ll forward it to the realtor.

PAD

I’m told that the convention had about 350 people in attendance and that the organizers are claiming that my failure to attend was entirely my own fault due to my refusal to commit and my constantly changing my mind. It supposedly had nothing to do with lack of communication and no one booking flights (the same problems that prevented Stuart Immonen and Tad Stones from attending). They did, however, insist that they were on good terms with me and that I’d be attending next year.

No. I won’t be. Fool me once and all that.

PAD