Month: August 2007

Cowboy Pete Gives Flash the Pan

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

I didn’t think it was possible for any version of Flash Gordon to bore the living crap out of me, but the Sci-Fi Channel managed it.

When BSG was reimagined, Ron Moore removed all the kitschy and campy aspects but replaced it with adult drama and sex. In the case of Flash, the producers likewise removed all the kitschy and campy elements from Flash Gordon, but replaced it with blandness. How colorless was Doctor Zarkov? How staggeringly dull was Ming the Merciless, no longer an evil, vaguely Asian guy but instead an unimposing Caucasian with the amazing ability to convey a total lack of threat. Were the producers REALLY that concerned about protests from Asian groups if they’d portrayed this decades-old iconic character in the classic manner?

And, hey…there was a REASON that Whitney was written out of Smallville: He was colorless and dull. So using him to anchor the series here only succeeds in that, like an anchor, he weighs things down and slows them to a halt.

I wanted to love this series, I really did. I mean, they had me with the prospect of evil aliens invading a bowling alley. (Which I have to think is a tactical mistake on the part of the aliens. If evil aliens showed up on league night standing at the far end of the lanes at my local bowling alley, we’d all just start chucking fifteen pound bowling balls at them.) But the flat writing, miscasting, and non-existent budget sank the pilot episode and I have, frankly, very little hope for subsequent outings.

Is it possible to do a tongue-in-cheek space opera for today’s audience? Sure. The producers of “The Adventures of Captain Zoom,” an underrated cable gem not even available on home video, accomplished that, featuring a lunkheaded hero, a hilariously offhand villain outing by Ron Perlman, a bewildered-looking Nichelle Nichols who didn’t quite seem to understand how she’d wound up there, and a budget of what looked to be $1.79. “Flash Gordon” from those folks would have killed. What we got instead was simply something that killed time, and even that, not very well.

PAD

RINGO

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

I don’t know what to say. I honestly don’t. I know I should say something…I worked with the man. But just saying, “He was a terrific artist and I was thrilled to have the opportunity to co-create comic books with him” seems inadequate when faced with a 44-year-old vegetarian in great shape whose heart gives out.

Saying “My condolences to all concerned” likewise seems facile and insufficient.

No words.

PAD

Karl Rove’s Book

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

On an episode of “West Wing,” John deLancie played a manipulative pollster who was happy to sacrifice all sense of morality in order to win an election. And Tobey said to him, “I finally figured out who you are.” deLancie’s character said, “He’s going to say ‘Satan.'” And Tobey said, “No. You’re the guy who runs into the 7-11 to buy Satan a pack of cigarettes.”

Satan’s real life cigarette buyer, Karl Rove, has announced that he’ll be scampering off the sinking ship of the Bush administration come the end of August. The speculation is that he’ll be writing a book.

Thoughts as to an appropriate title?

PAD

Caroline on the mend

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

Caroline’s little finger swelled up and we brought her to the doctor, who informed us of what we’d already pretty much figured out: She’d suffered an insect bite, probably a spider’s. Tragically, all it gave her was a puffy finger rather than the ability to crawl walls.

Fortunately enough, children’s Benadryl seems to be reducing the swelling almost to non-existence. Unfortunately enough, the medication tends to knock her unconscious with every dose. But she’s much more her old self now.

Kathleen and Ariel are out getting tickets for a big Muppet weekend that’s going to be happening at a local theater. I’m sure she’ll be giving a detailed write-up in her blog about that. I’m busy working on rewrites for X-Factor #26 and a novel that Del Rey will be publishing next May that is so different from my previous work, I suspect a number of people wouldn’t recognize it as mine. Tentative title: “Tigerheart.”

PAD

Complete the phrase: _______ Alley

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

So I’m working down in my office and Kath calls. “Turn on Channel 88, the Gameshow network,” she tells me. Kath, as it so happens, loves watching those old game shows from the 1970s and 80s, and in this case she had on Match Game. Usually Match Game serves as a time capsule nostalgia trip, featuring such staples as Brett Sommers, Charles Nelson Reilly, Ðìçk Martin, and Jamie Lee Curtis.

But today’s point of interest was none of the aforementioned. Instead it was the newly arrived contestant, a young woman who had just moved to Los Angeles from the midwest and was, presumably, hoping to embark upon a career as an actress.

Her name?

Kirstie Alley.

She was only there for a brief shot before the episode ended. We presume the next show with her will be at either 2:30 today or tomorrow morning at 11 AM.

I wonder whatever happened to her?

PAD

UPDATE: Okay, it wasn’t the 2:30, so if they follow the air order, it’ll be on tomorrow at 11 AM. I tried watching it on Youtube but it kept taking forever to load.

Hillary’s double-edged sword

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

Interesting overview in “The Week” over the problem that Bill Clinton presents to Hillary. When he goes out with her on the campaign trail and basically introduces her to the crowds, the crowds absolutely love him. He gets them incredibly stoked. Then Hillary comes out and basically puts them to sleep with her combination of policy wonk attitudes, canned speeches, and an inability to project any sort of warmth or true connection with the audience. So the question becomes, is he doing her more harm than good?

I dunno: At least people remember the “getting stoked” part, so that’s something. Memory can be a tricky thing: Later on they might just recall the warm feeling that suffused them from Bill and attribute it to the entire proceeding, rather than focusing on the fact that Bill was jazz and Hillary was Muzak.

PAD