Pundits are having a field day dogpiling on poor Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen. Asked in competition, “One fifth of Americans can’t locate the United States on a world map; why do you think that is?” her response was rambling and literally incoherent, with non-sequitor observations about Iraq and South Africa. She has since said she froze. Genuine freezing might have been preferable; saying nothing would have been better than what she did say.
I refuse to make fun of her. Personally–and I’m completely serious here–I’m wondering if she didn’t have a sort of mini-stroke brought on by the stress of the moment. It makes sense to me. People who have had strokes sometimes find themselves unable to say the words they’re thinking; instead random words are tossed out. Circumstances such as those that she found herself in would be enough to burst a blood vessel in anyone’s head. They probably did dry runs with her about assorted world topics and her synapses just started spitting out fragments of those replies.
Second, I don’t think that a country that has tolerated seven years of a president so characterized by malaprops that entire 365-day calendars are devoted to them–a president whose town-hall meeting questions are carefully vetted before they’re spoken–gets to laugh too hard at a scared teenager who had a tough question sprung on her. Caitlin Upton has to do her own damage control; she doesn’t have a press secretary to face reporters the next day after a session of babbling incoherence and say, “Okay, what she MEANT to say was…”
And it WAS a tough question, because in thirty seconds she had to try and come up with an answer that was fundamentally upbeat and positive because, hey, that’s what beauty pagents are all about. If someone asked me that question and I had to come up with an off-the-cuff response, it would be this…
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