Gotta give Bush credit: He made the exact right move at the exact right time. Ditching Rumsfeld, the single most visible symbol of the Iraq debacle short of Bush himself, was perfectly timed. Had he dumped Rummy shortly before the election, it would have been seen as a desperation move. I suppose there’s a possibility that it might have changed the outcome, which has been seen as a voter repudiation of the war. But I don’t think it’s a sizable chance, and probably would have been seen as a case of “too little, too late.” In this instance, though, it managed to grab headlines from the Democratic triumph back to the White House. Bush has snared the spin cycle before the election dust has settled. He did the right thing in getting rid of an advisor who has given him nothing but bad advice and been a PR catastrophe on more than one occasion, and he did it at a time when his support base is at an all-time moral low. He has sent a definite message: He’s not going to be spending the next two years with more of the same and staying the course, steering the remainder of his presidency into irrelevancy.
With a smartening-up Bush and a newly energized Democratic majority, let’s see if the government finally gets on the right track.
PAD
• 
Sigh… I have the “Yes” radio button checked at the “Remember me?” prompt. That’s why I keep showing up as a “Zombie Slayer.” Hopefully I’ve fixed it so I can just go back to being Bill Myers.
Whoops, sorry if I’ve overstepped my bounds as (potential) Secretary of Defense. Just got a little caught up in preparing for the zombie hordes. Believe me, I will stay out of decisions concerning pørņ and football (especially football), except where they directly impact national security. 😛
-Rex Hondo-
Rex, I’m disappointed. You had Scullion in your camp. You should’ve gone for the power grab. It’s what politicos DO, man.
Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
Ahh, but I figured that was one of the draws of the Guy Party. We’re not necessarily politicos. That, and it’s not in anybody’s best interests to get bogged down in political infighting when we could be having our heads munched on by the walking undead at any time. To say nothing of the threats of demonic invasion, alien infestation, or android armies controlled by paranoid supercomputers. The threats to the American freedom to choose one’s own pørņ and sports are legion. You can have the spotlight. I’m content to do my duty to protect this great nation from threats from beyonds it’s borders, and even from beyond it’s plane of existence. (Cue Music)
Besides, you’re much more electable than I am. Much better to let you get us all into the White House and then be the power behind the throne. 😉
-Rex Hondo-
Rex Hondo, it will be an honor serving with you.
Now if we could just come up with some campaign funding…
Well, I’ll have to sleep on it. Try not to start the revolution without me!
-Rex Hondo-
“The Roman battle against Boudicca could provide a clue for how we could best fight off a zombie horde. Keeping in mind all the advantages they have (not tiring, feel no pain, never panic, admirable clarity of purpose) we still have the one advantage that can turn the tide–intelligence. Using natural barriers and cars arranged with a narrowing opening we could allow the zombies to herd themselves into a smaller and smaller area with our soldiers at the end. It would be a long fight but as long as the defenses were not accidentally breached it should work (unless we’re talking about a whole city of the dead here).”
The important thing is that you have a plan. That’s why you’re the candidate.
Folks, I don’t know whether Peter is reading every post in this off-the-rails thread anymore… and if he is, I don’t know what he’s thinking…
But the fact that he has let us talk about pørņ & football, zombies, and all other sorts of weird šhìŧ that’s way the hëll off topic… well… that just solidifies my belief that this is the best blog on the freakin’ planet.
Peter — thanks for letting us have so much fun in what is, after all, your personal “playground.”
Peter–I’m with Bill. Thanks.
In the true tradition of America, this blog is populated by people who would have gotten kicked out of any DECENT blog years ago. Thanks PAD!
What was it Groucho Marx said about belonging to any club that’s have him as a member? 😛
-Rex Hondo-
The reason no one would confuse Conason for right wing is because he is to the far left in the media. He’s criticising a politician who traded favors for things he could bring back to his constituants. So what else is new?
Conason points out that Murtha thrived in the republican-dominated house.
Well, guess what? Unless Pelosi picks someone completely untried, she has no option to fill the majority leader slot with someone for whom that isn’t true.
With Conason, it’s about the intolerance of corruption.
With you, it’s about weighing a penny of democratic lapses the same as a dollar of republican corruption.
You said they match, and then you started talking to Bill. So what’s your problem? The definition of genocide gave no exceptions to “Killing members of [a national, ethnical, racial or religious group].”
Yawn.
Well, luckily for the future of the Democratic Party, they were smart enough to vote down Murtha–big time. Either he lied about having enough votes when he spoke to Chris Mathews yesterday or they were appalled by his performance and all switched at once. It wasn’t even close.
Pelosi still has a chance to salvage some respect out of this. It’s obvious that she does not have the ability to impose her will on members. (From the Washington Post–For the most part, lawmakers, Hill aides and some outside advisers — even some close to her — say they are at a loss to explain why Pelosi has held a grudge for so long, because she clearly has the upper hand as leader of the House Democrats. They suggest that part of what rankles her is that Hoyer is not beholden to her and feels no compulsion to publicly agree with her on every issue. This, allies say, she sees as a sign of disloyalty. Yikes!)
The Jewish Daily Forward points out that During the campaign, Pelosi and her party pledged to implement any recommendations of the 9/11 commission which have yet to be enacted. Well, the commission argued that “members should serve indefinitely on the intelligence committees, without set terms, thereby letting them accumulate expertise.” But Pelosi’s people have been citing term limits as a main reason for trying to block Democratic Rep. Jane Harman, an initial supporter of the Iraq war, from becoming chairman of the House Intelligence Committee…Before this is over, Pelosi will have to come up with a different reason for dumping Harman or appear to betray a pretty black-and-white campaign promise.
Replacing Harmon with Alcee Hastings is appalling for reason obvious to anyone not a Pelosi loyalist. I’m not suggesting she appoint a republican and if she is psychologically unable to work with anyone she considers disloyal…well, that would eliminate a majority of the members of her party who defied her today. But still, SOME one of the remaining 86 members would be a better pick than Hastings.
I know some Republicans are bummed that the Democrats dodged a bullet today but really, the country can’t afford two years of watching the Party in charge self destruct. You have to put the needs of the country first. Hoping for disaster just so “your guys” can get back in is, at the very least, dishonorable.
…
She submitted John Murtha, a retired Marine colonel who opposes the war, to house majority leader, and she casually cited term limits on a guy she doesn’t like. It isn’t like she’s resorted to incendiary accusations a member of her own party sired a black baby to discredit them.
Again, with you a penny of democratic lapses weighs the same as a dollar of republican corruption. It’s like your denial of the plainly-worded definition of genocide — what’s important to you is sheltering white patriarchal privilege.
I suppose for you there is no virtue in the end of a disasterous rule if it’s by the republicans.
After 9-11, the democrats rubber-stamped the Iraq invasion. That wasn’t hoping for disaster. They were supporting a republican president who, it has since been revealed, lied to them.
After four years of republicans sheltering Bush’s incompetence, voters have placed the democrats in charge to provide some checks. It’s your hope for another disasterous rule that’s dishonorable.
I also suppose since the democrats are the “Party in charge” with only the law-making branch, you won’t be bothering to sing the merits of a republican candidate in the next presidential election.
Mike, what history are you looking at? The Iraq Resolution (which did not authorize the invasion, just gave full authority to the president to use whatever means he decided were needed, IF Hussein did not give up his WMDs and abide by UN resolutions…a minor distinction, to be sure, but far from the authorization of war some claim it was) had 133 votes AGAINST it. Hardly a rubber stamp approval, with only 81 Dems voting for it, and 126 against. And even if every single Dem had voted against it, it still would have passed, 215-214.
Zombie Bobb, your puny logic is no match for Mike’s single…er…mindedness. Though at least you probably figured out that Jane Harmen is a woman, not “a guy”.
Luckily for the Democratic party and the country as a whole, Mike’s apparent blindness to the possibility that any choice by a Democrat might be a poor one was not shared by the majority of party members. They saw the “no matter what we do it’s better than something they did so, by definition, it must be ok” philosophy for the 4th grade mentality it is. No big surprise, for all their flaws, most of these folks are grownups.
Some bloggers, not so much.
The right wing fanatics at The New York Times had this to say:
Nancy Pelosi has managed to severely scar her leadership even before taking up the gavel as the new speaker of the House. First, she played politics with the leadership of the House Intelligence Committee to settle an old score and a new debt. And then she put herself in a lose-lose position by trying to force a badly tarnished ally, Representative John Murtha, on the incoming Democratic Congress as majority leader. The party caucus put a decisive end to that gambit yesterday, giving the No. 2 job to Steny Hoyer, a longtime Pelosi rival.
But Ms. Pelosi’s damage to herself was already done. The well-known shortcomings of Mr. Murtha were broadcast for all to see — from his quid-pro-quo addiction to moneyed lobbyists to the grainy government tape of his involvement in the Abscam scandal a generation ago. The resurrected tape — feasted upon by Pelosi enemies — shows how Mr. Murtha narrowly survived as an unindicted co-conspirator, admittedly tempted but finally rebuffing a bribe offer: “I’m not interested — at this point.”
Mr. Murtha would have been a farcical presence in a leadership promising the cleanest Congress in history. Ms. Pelosi should have been first to realize this, having made such a fiery campaign sword of her vows to end Capitol corruption. Instead, she acted like some old-time precinct boss and lost the first test before her peers.
Posted by: Bill Mulligan at November 17, 2006 03:15 PM
No big surprise, for all their flaws, most of these folks are grownups.
Some bloggers, not so much.
Bill, I am sick of you taking these cheap shots at me!
And my cat is angry at you as well (you know dámņ well what I mean, even though pretty much no one else does).
Yeah, well you can tell your cat that MY cat put me in the hospital for a week and almost cost me a foot. I don’t scare easily.
What did you do to your cat that forced it to retaliate like that???
Isn’t it obvious? He told his cat that it wasn’t, um, awesome, so it retaliated. You kan’t mess with cats.
I have a theory about Mike that can put an end to all the fighting.
He is a misunderstood genius. A comedic genius that is. He’s like Borat, Andy Kaufman, Eric Cartman, he uses the persona of ‘Mike’ to say outragous ridiculous things. Borat meets abbot and Costelo’s Who’s on first, if you will. An ongoing misunderstanding that no matter how much you try, you can’t get out of. The greatest part of his act is that he never brakes character. Briliant. He’ll probably deny this claim, blaiming it on a neo-nazi conspiracy.
It’s a theory, of course. Less than a theory even. But ever since I came up with it, my life has become more amusing. I actually look forward for the next post. Every mention of the exact definition of genocide is like a running gag. Bravo.
Micha, I have another theory for ya, one that’s been floating around in my head for a while now. Looking at all the other people’s words in Mike’s posts, the answer is obvious. As a kid, he ate too much…paste.
I really think someone should just take Pelosi aside and tell her that the Democrats are in, don’t screw this up. Put it much more diplomatically, though.
Back on the zombie front–this is the kind of headline you have to be on the watch for. From the drudgereport:
US cemetery worker, 80, charged over grave-rage incident
This is how they try to break it too us gently. Start stocking up on bottled water and peanut butter.
I have a theory about Mike that can put an end to all the fighting.
It would acvtually make for a funny book–“I was an Internet Jerk” The “victims” of the scam would be so happy to find out he wasn’t serious they’d probably give permission to reprint all their posts. I’d probablt buy lots of copies to give away to my friends who would read it and tell me “Boy, he really had you going.”
The Iraq Resolution… had 133 votes AGAINST it.
Well, unlike Bill Mulligan, I’m not going to deny something plainly observable. Thank you for correcting me by actually citing something verifiable.
The democrats compare even more favorably to republicans than I have been arguing.
What are you talking about, Bill Mulligan? Bobb just made the point democrats compare even more favorably to republicans than I have been arguing.
And yet, “the cleanest Congress in history” still would have been plausible.
I could not concentrate on what that old man was saying.
As Borat, Sacha Cohen films people nodding along with the sexist and racist things he says. As Ali G, he films politicians addressing him as someone who leads the youth market who believes the ridiculous things he says.
Y’all (except for Sean Scullion) are simply denying “ANY racially motivated murder” matches the plain wording of “Killing members of [a national, ethnical, racial or religious group]” in the definition of genocide. The only virtue of this denial is to shelter racism. There is no declaration of “just kidding!” that will make this untrue.
Hmmm, on second thought, even if he IS just putting on a show it isn’t funny enough to be worth the trouble.
Maybe it’s like with Andy Kaufman–he has to keep the joke going for a REALLY long time to make it work. Well, good luck to him. At this point it’s the only option he has. To heavily paraphrase Alexandre Dumas, I don’t know if Mike’s an idiot or a joker but since the latter usually have to take an occasional rest it’s looking more and more like the former.
You aren’t very smart, are you?
Now he isn’t even trying.
Well, at least the 3 Billy Goats Gruff appreciate the distraction we’ve provided.
Bill, instead of a book, it would make a REALLY good film. Such a shame we don’t know anyone who, y’know, makes movies.
I don’t know Sean, there isn’t anything terribly cinematic about a lonely guy typing furiously in his one room apartment surrounded by empty pizza boxes and his dog-eared copy of “Of Mice and Men”.
Hey–just for giggles, want to read a blast from the past?
Jeffrey, I think I know how distressing it is to have your feelings invalidated. You’ve got people working, laboring to minimize your feelings. But when you express any distress, your feelings aren’t invalide anymore, but justification to dismiss you. It’s the kind of inconsistency that can clobber someone who is otherwise well-meaning.
My point is, if you’re going to be a troll, you’re going to have to do a better job. I’m sorry, but I’ve been watching you since I’ve gotten here, and you just aren’t doing that well. I’ve been kicked off of communities before, and now no one even notices I’m a troll at all. Maybe I can help.
You are a strict personality, among a pool of more casual personalities. I am not a casual personality, so I think I can give you some feedback. It’s ok, we all need feedback sometime. We can’t read people’s minds and see how they take what we present.
Tactically, I’ve found it helps to encompass your entire point in a single sentence. I’m not perfect, but keeping this in mind has stopped me from repeating devastating blunders.
Saying something like “Your response was a coherent and responsive answer to an attack that was made, and no more personally venemous than was necessary” is generally a bad idea. Why? Because there’s no fire there.
Wait for Peter to say something personally venomous, then stoke the fire. These are your best opportunities to form concise sentences, because you’ve been given an optimal lead in. If you cite something evil Peter said previously, you may not even have to say much at all.
Strategically, it helps to remember the advantage in being a strict-personality troll is in forcing people to abandon casual behavior. That is the power in waiting for Peter to say something vile, and coming back with a single devastating summation. Reiterate your devastating point where he gives you the opportunity, but if you are seen as repeating yourself, you will dilute your own effectiveness as a troll.
(Editors Note–Obviously the part about not repeating oneself has been revised by Mike since then.)
In as much as I hope to see anyone improve their craft, I hope this helps.
Mike, seeking to give trolling advice to another troll only a year and a half ago. Was he kidding or serious? Hard to say which is funnier now, given what’s happened to him.
“As Borat, Sacha Cohen films people nodding along with the sexist and racist things he says. As Ali G, he films politicians addressing him as someone who leads the youth market who believes the ridiculous things he says.”
I personaly think your comedy style is more like Eric Cartman. And you’ve unwittingly pulled us into the roles of Stan, Kyle, Butters and Kenny. But far be it from me to teach you your craft as a comedian Mike. I personaly like Southpark, but not Borat or Kaufman. And I’ve come to enjoy your comedy more and more, ever since I felt the need to react to your post with “god dammit, Mike.” It’s a matter of taste, but I think you’re funny. A briliant combination of Eric Cartman with maybe George Costanza.
Bill, of course there is no proof for my theory, but I prefer it. If for no other reason than that it is more entertaining for me to read Mike’s posts in that context.
It is also better than my previous theory, that a super computer has gained consciousness and was now surfing the net, but has yet to perfect its language and social skills. Although this would probably make a not very original but better movie.
Do zombies surf the net? Cyberzombies?
“Maybe it’s like with Andy Kaufman–he has to keep the joke going for a REALLY long time to make it work. Well, good luck to him. At this point it’s the only option he has. To heavily paraphrase Alexandre Dumas, I don’t know if Mike’s an idiot or a joker but since the latter usually have to take an occasional rest it’s looking more and more like the former.”
In the tradition of the British theater, he has become the character he is playing. Even if you do not appreciate the comedy, you have to admire the artistic committment.
In the tradition of the British theater, he has become the character he is playing. Even if you do not appreciate the comedy, you have to admire the artistic committmen
Yeah, I’ve always admired it when actors just embrace the horror and become the characters they are stuck with. Santo, the great Mexican wrestler/vampire slayer never took off his mask. He was buried in it. Arthur Lucan kept playing Old Mother Riley loooong after the joke ran out. Admirable.
You think he really wanted to be Captain Kangaroo? You think he wanted to be Captain f***in Kangaroo for fifty years? FIFTY F’in YEARS.He was always so deppressed “Hi kids, we got a good show for you today.” Remember that haircut? Those F****IN MUTTON CHOPS!? You know when he got home every night his wife would have something to say. “YOU’RE NOT A REAL ACTOR, YOU LOOOOSER!!! LOOK AT YOU, YOU’RE A LOOOOOOOSER!!!!”
Sam Kinison
Since I wrote that, I’ve read Mark Waid complain he was kicked off of John Byrne’s board. There is no shame in being called a troll by the likes of you, Bill Mulligan, or John Byrne.
You’ve given me a lot of freedom by abandoning any moral ground whatsoever. At least Hitler tried to justify racism by misinterpreting Darwin. Borat justified misogyny by citing Kazakh scientists saying women’s brains are bird-sized, which is laughable.
With you, the denial “ANY racially motivated murder” matches the plain wording of “Killing members of [a national, ethnical, racial or religious group]” is justified by willful and naked stupidity, which is pitiful.
You don’t have to be Shakespeare to put that kind of wrong in its place. Your denial of something so plainly observable withstands repetition.
You introduced the “You’re stupid” comeback here. Thanks for admitting your criticism of me has been without integrity.
“Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.”
“It is NOT!”
“It is!”
“Not at all!”
“It is!”
“Look, It… *ding* Oh, I’m sorry, time’s up”
“What?!? That was never five minutes!”
“…….”
“I said that that was never five minutes!!”
“…….”
“I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to argue anymore. If you wish to continue, you’ll have to pay for another five minutes.”
“Well, how’d you become king, then?”
“The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!”
“Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”
“Be quiet!”
“You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!”
“Shut up!”
“I mean, if I went ’round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!”
“Shut up! Will you shut up?! [Grabs Dennis and shakes him]”
“Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!”
“Shut up!”
“Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED!”
“BLOODY PEASANT!!”
“Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn’t you?”
Must be the lateness of the hour but Mike seems funny again.
That’s what I’ve been saying all along Bill.
This argument has always been an homage to Monty Python.
Posted by: Micha at November 19, 2006 04:51 AM
This argument has always been an homage to Monty Python.
No it hasn’t.
Yes it has.
So your principle for denying “ANY racially motivated murder” matches the plain wording of “Killing members of [a national, ethnical, racial or religious group]” is belief:
Then you reveal your belief to be arbitrary:
Bill Myers, you should charge money for the public display of your moral cretinism.
No I shouldn’t.
David’s Corollary to Godwin’s Law: Any internet thread that goes on past mention of Nazis will end up quoting Monty Python sketches.
PAD
Mikey does seem to go in cycles from funny, to over-the-top annoying, then back again. Though that’s probably eye of the beholder, and all that.
I’d wager at this point even he’s not sure if he’s serious.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m afraid I have to go hunt up some shrubbery…
The genius of Mike’s comedy is the blurring of the distinction between the comic and the serious, the serious argument and the joke.
How else can you understand treating a joke like
“Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.”
“It is NOT!”
“It is!”
“Not at all!”
“It is!”
as serious, and mentioning Borat and Hitler in one sentence.
It’s social commentary. A challenge to our entertainment driven society.
Ni!
Mikey does seem to go in cycles from funny, to over-the-top annoying, then back again.
Medication can fix that, though we’d probably end up with a Mike that is neither funny or crazy but just sort of there.
No I shouldn’t.
Yes you should, son of a silly person.