Leo Decaprio and Kate Winslet are not welcome…

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

…aboard a brand new luxury ocean liner has just been announced from the Royal Caribbean line. It is designed to be sixty feet longer, far more luxurious, and capable of carrying twice as many passengers (over 6000) as the current largest ship afloat.

It’s set to launch in 2009, just five years shy of the Titanic’s Centennial. Am I the only person who thinks that God is cracking his knuckles over this floating testament to hubris and saying, “Oh, PLEASE. Bring it ON. I double-dog DARE you.”

To make it worse, the working title of this thing is “Project Genesis.” Dude! You really want to name your new ship after something that self-destructed in “Star Trek III?”

PAD

58 comments on “Leo Decaprio and Kate Winslet are not welcome…”

  2. Hey, I’m still amazed that there are so many vessels (both fictional and, amazingly, in real life) named Icarus. Why anyone would name a ship for a mythological figure who died on his sole attempt at travel is so beyond me…

  3. I don’t think anyone’s claiming this ship to be “unsinkable”. They learned their mistake.

    Nothing wrong with trying to achieve greater than your last project. It’s what got us to the moon and, hopefully, will take us farther.

  4. Oh boy, a 6,000 passenger ship… It’s bad enough in having to deal with approximately 2,700 on a ship now. Just try and get a deck chair.

  5. I like the idea of Posiedon (or Neptune) ready to give this thing the Titanic treatment.

    Money wasted on something most people will never be able to afford to use…

    Sink baby sink.

    Does it have enough lifeboats?

  6. And I still blame the “Genesis Planet” failure in Star Trek 3 on the fact it was formed from a nebula rather than a true planetary core to begin with rather than “unstable” materials (don’t remember the name of the stuff) in the formula.

    How many other “little Jim Kirk Jr.s” are there out there, certainly not just that one…

  7. Hopefully this ship will have enough lifeboats for everyone.

    It does seem a colossal waste, really.

    And the comment about God cracking his knuckles cracked me up. Thanks! 🙂

  9. The fact that you make reference to Star Trek allows me to infer that you are a nerd. I hope you are not a politically left-leaning nerd.

  10. “The fact that you make reference to Star Trek allows me to infer that you are a nerd. I hope you are not a politically left-leaning nerd.”

    Man, where have you been? I’d think that most people would know PAD as a “left-leaning nerd” just coming into the blog.

    Or was that meant as a joke?

  13. Well, God doesn’t want it, that’s for sure. After all, its a CRUISE ship, not a STAR ship.

  14. Didn’t Titanic sink in 1912? Wouldn’t that make 2009 three years prior to Titanic’s centennial?

  15. Hey, it doesn’t have to be Genesis the planet. It could be Genesis the recent space probe. You know, the one that was gathering pieces of the solar wind, and then …

    um …

    crashed down upon return when the chute failed to deploy.

    Hmm.

    Okay, lousy name.

    TWL

  16. I remember hearing about the plans of a floating city. I moving city-giant sized with “apartments” and such on it, you could actually for-real live and work on this ship that goes from port to port.

  18. Cute name Pikachu 007, not I can’t get the mental image out of my head…

    Pikachu in a tux lighting a cigar at a Monte Carlo Casino table “Pika pika? Chu, Pika Chu.”
    (Translation “My name? Bond, James Bond.”

  19. Bladestar, I’ve never watched one animated frame of Pikachu doing anything but I find the idea of the little guy replacing Daniel Craig as 007 to be EXTREMELY alluring!

  22. >Pikachu in a tux lighting a cigar at a Monte Carlo Casino table “Pika pika? Chu, Pika Chu.”

    Having to stand on a high stool, with a couple PYT’s hovering around. Mr. Chu then reaches and snags a martini from the tray of a passing waitress….

    Oh, for some reason, this image is now going to stay in my head all day.

    (Y’know, having a set up like this for Ling Ling from ‘Drawn Together’ would work just fine….)

    Leah

  24. Eh, they’ve been making big cruise ships for a long time. The Queen Mary 2 is already huge, much bigger than the Titanic, so a ship that’s even more huge doesn’t really make much difference.

    Frankly, I’m more surprised that it’s Royal Caribbean building it than anything else. They’re not exactly known for their ostentation.

  25. M wrote: “I don’t think anyone’s claiming this ship to be “unsinkable”. They learned their mistake.”

    If this in regards to the Titanic sinking, that’s a myth. See below, from the Titanic Myths articles in this site

    http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/moments/default.htm

    – The White Star Line promotions never claimed the Titanic was “unsinkable” – the slogan they used was “Largest and Finest Steamers In the World”.

    – While the Titanic was being fitted out, her construction was discussed in publications such as The Shipbuilder, the Irish News, and the Belfast Morning News. The exact sentence used in an article about the Titanic was, “The Captain, may, by simply moving an electric switch, instantly close the doors throughout and make the vessel practically unsinkable”.

    Aside: anyone know what the power source will be for the new extra-large cruise ship? Comments in an earlier entry reminded me of the world’s first (and only) nuclear-powered cargo/passenger ship, the N.S. Savannah. It was a technical success, but financial failure as oil-powered vessels were cheaper to run. With oil now being probably ten times more expensive than in the early 70s (when the Savannah was retired) this might no longer be a problem.

    Other aside: At least they aren’t naming it the Titanic II as they were thinking of doing for a copy of that ill-fated ship which someone had been looking at building a few years ago.

  27. :SMILE:

    Drawn Together

    A total bizarro, whacked-out bit of hilarious excellence.

    I’m glad they picked it up for another season.

    Kate Winslet is too skinny though. Looks like she’d snap like a twig….

  28. I can just imagine a tantrum at a travel agency. “GIVE ME GENESIS!!” “Mr. Montalban, calm down, there are still tickets available!”

    Worse visual, Phil Collins at the helm as Peter Gabriel works down in the engine room…

    ANybody else, when reading PAD’s initial post, picture God like Francis in that scene from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure?

  29. Bladestar, are you sure you’re thinking of Kate Winslet. She’s not particularly stick-like; to the contrary, she’s got a nicely curvy figure. Could you have her confused with Kiera Knightley (who I also think is beautiful, but is undeniably very, VERY thin).

  33. “God, you’ve got Genesis. But you were going to kill me, God. You’re going to have to come down here. You’re going to HAVE to COME DOWN HERE.”

    Oh, I never get tired of that…

    -Rex Hondo-

  34. I can just imagine a tantrum at a travel agency. “GIVE ME GENESIS!!” “Mr. Montalban, calm down, there are still tickets available!”

    Actually, wouldn’t that be Mr. Lloyd?

    …Oh God I’m a geek…

    -Rex Hondo-

  35. Perhaps I am, but I know the missus has been watching Titanic alot lately and Kate looks real skinny to me in Titanic…

  36. The StarWolf
    Aside: anyone know what the power source will be for the new extra-large cruise ship? Comments in an earlier entry reminded me of the world’s first (and only) nuclear-powered cargo/passenger ship, the N.S. Savannah. It was a technical success, but financial failure as oil-powered vessels were cheaper to run. With oil now being probably ten times more expensive than in the early 70s (when the Savannah was retired) this might no longer be a problem.

    Further aside: I know the Savannah. I’ve been on that ship.

  37. “Perhaps I am, but I know the missus has been watching Titanic alot lately and Kate looks real skinny to me in Titanic…”

    Wow, I thought you were making a joke. Actually, Kate is often accused of being fat (which is, of course, ridiculous), so I thought you were making an ironic commentary on anorexic actresses.

    She’s definitely not skinny, though.

  38. To get a little geeky here. The Genisis Project was from Star Trek II not III. And it did not self-destruct. Kahn initiated it (while quoting Melville) and it worked as programed by creating the Genesis Planet. It was flawed because they used an unstable matrix in the design. End of nerdspeak.

  39. Posted by Bladestar at February 7, 2006 10:38 AM

    I like the idea of Posiedon (or Neptune) ready to give this thing the Titanic treatment.

    Money wasted on something most people will never be able to afford to use…

    Actually, cruise lines have been gradually lowering ticket rates in recent years, to allow more middle-class people to take cruises.

  40. “Wow, I thought you were making a joke. Actually, Kate is often accused of being fat (which is, of course, ridiculous)”

    A lot of that criticism came after Titanic. She was at her thinnest in Titanic, and had weight gain afterwards. She tried to get back to the figure she had for Titanic, but it was a struggle. She wasn’t accused of being fat in Titanic though, she was at her most slender in that film, as I recall.

  41. Be interesting to see the ticket prices/accomodations they need to recover building costs, and more important, FUEL.

    I thought we needed to conserve more…

  42. Well, come on, Bladestar, it was just the day after the State of the Union that the White House issued this year’s “He didn’t really mean it” retraction.

    Why is that after every SOTU address, the administration has to almost immediately backpedal on what he said?

  43. List of people not allowed anywhere near “Project Genisis”:

    Ricardo Montalban, William Shatner, and Christopher Lloyd.

    Also James Cameron. Cause he’d just do that stupid “I’m KING OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLLLLLLLLLLLLLD!” crap.

    Anyone standing on the front rail saying “I’m flying, Jack!” will be instantly pushed over aforesaid rail.

    The captain’s eyesight will be well tested, and the list of the top three iceburg warning signs will be posted in the cabin (One, the water is nearly freezing. Two, there is a nasty cold breeze blowing. Three, THERES A GIANT FREAKING CHUNK OF ICE IN FRONT OF YOU!!!!!)

    As it is, I still give the thing three months before Zeus thunder-bolts it out of existence.

  45. Aw, c’mon, James, Montalban is in a wheelchair now, what’s he going to do?

    You know, if there ever is a warning that the giant squid, angry deity, or terrorist group wants to attack it, I say that Leonardo DeCrappio should feel free to board it at any time.

  46. Someone mentioned that the president’s office release his SOTU speech in advance to the opposition party and the press.

    Be funny if one year the president gave a totally different speech than the one handed out in advance.

  47. Forget the squid and combine the options…

    As the great Cthulu rises to consume the thing…

  48. Ow, Den, a little mean to Decaprio, huh? I will admit that I also considered him one of those annoying pretty boy actors whom I had little use for; but since I heard that he has a COMPLETE collection of Star Wars toys, I’ve gained some respect for him 😉

    Rat wrote:
    “I can just imagine a tantrum at a travel agency. “GIVE ME GENESIS!!” “Mr. Montalban, calm down, there are still tickets available!”

    Worse visual, Phil Collins at the helm as Peter Gabriel works down in the engine room…”

    LOL at the first part! As far as Genesis the band – P.G. left of his own accord, so he’d be running a different ship. And Phil Collins by his own admission was the least important writer in Genesis, so Tony Banks would be the captain, Mike Rutherford first mate (or co-captain, if there were such a thing); Phil would either be the entertainment, since he’s the big performer guy/people person, or HE’d be the one down in the engine room, drumming away on the pipes …

    As long as we’re talking about other Genesises – maybe they could help defray costs by getting a corporate sponsor, as so many buildings have these days. Could they cash in on the nostalgia craze by calling it the Sega Genesis? (Ouch. Okay, that made ME groan.)

  49. > I remember hearing about the plans of a floating city. I moving city-giant sized with “apartments” and such on it, you could actually for-real live and work on this ship that goes from port to port.

    Was to have had a landing strip for short take-off/landing type aircraft at the top and was designed never to need to land such that the [really rich] people living aboard would reside in international waters and thus be exempt from any country’s Income Taxes.

  50. Okay, I admit, I got my Trek bad guys confused, but I was on my 36th hour of being awake. Realized it after a nap, actually. Right when I remembered Messrs. Banks and Rutherford’s names.

    Anyway, Kate Winslet–Love her! And not just because she looks like my wife. Well, mostly not.

    As fot the giant squid–“Captain, we’re being attacked by Admiral Ackbar!”
    “Ðámņ, close the sushi bar!”

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