Month: January 2006

Thanks to Queen Anthai for drawing the following to my attention: According to a brand spanking new law, it is now illegal for internet denizens to–get this–“annoy” people while posting under fake names.

Now I’ve been an outspoken critic of people who snipe from anonymity. But it would never have occurred to me to ask the government to step in and do something about it. I’d just as soon leave it in the hands of resourceful guys like Glenn. As much as the notion of sending X-Ray to the lock-up for a couple years appeals to me, certainly this has to be a travesty of First Amendment inteference. I can just see it:

“What are you in for?”

“I shot and killed a Federal agent. What about you?”

“I pìššëd øff Peter David on his website”

Did anyone tell Bush that there are amendments other than the second that he’s supposed to protect? Read more at:

http://news.com.com/Create+an+e-annoyance%2C+go+to+jail/2010-1028_3-6022491.html?tag=nefd.top

One of the better kept secrets of my recent output has been my involvement in a short story collection entitled, “Meeting Across the River: Stories Inspired by the Haunting Bruce Springsteen Song.” It is just what it says it is: A series of short stories inspired by that one song.

Well, there’s now an audio version out, and it was the subject of a starred review in the January 2, 2006 Publishers Weekly (starred means that special notice should be taken). And amongst the various generally positive assessments, the reviewer says:

“Harlan Ellison supplies a rich, no-holds-barred reading of Peter David’s inspired fantasy, “Killing Time by the River Styx.”

Basically, the folks who were doing the adaptation approached Harlan as to whether he’d like to do the reading (since, in case you don’t know, Harlan has done many readings of material that wasn’t his own.) Harlan in turn wouldn’t have taken the gig if it wasn’t cool with me. And part of me would have liked to do the reading myself, but then I thought, “Y’know…it’ll probably sound better if Harlan does it, so what the hëll.”

Obviously PW agreed. So try and turn up a copy of either the original book in order to read the story (anthology edited by Jessica Kaye and Richard Brewer) or the audio version on Blackstone Audiobooks, ISBN 0-7867-7632-6). And, hey, if you’re voting for the Hugos for short stories of 2005, remember, PW says it’s an “inspired fantasy.”

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I mean, you’d think that trolls were limited to internet schmucks who go around and say deliberately provocative things for the sole purpose of getting noticed and stirring up trouble. One generally assumes them to be adolescents at best, living in their parents’ basements.

And then we get Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson, Trolling for God. God’s troll. No tragedy too great, no suffering too unspeakable, to prevent Robertson from trolling for God. You’ve heard of Holy Rollers? Meet the Holy Troller. You know it must be working, because really, how many times do you see what this jáçkášš has to say and–no matter what your faith–you find yourself saying, “Jesus!”

Ariel Sharon, according to Pat Robertson, had a massive stroke courtesy of God because of the way he was trying to make peace in the Middle East. As Jon Stewart pointed out, certainly the fact that he was in his seventies, overweight, and overstressed might have had SOMETHING to do with it. If Ariel Sharon had suddenly spontaneously combusted, okay, maybe the hand of God is in there somewhere. Short of that, I have to think that it’s just nature catching up with him. But it is nothing short of repulsive that Robertson views everything in terms of God’s approval or disapproval, and that when tragedy befalls someone–no matter what it may be–the Holy Troller claims that it’s God’s wrath that the hapless individual brought down upon himself. Eternal punishment. You know what eternal punishment is? Five minutes of being exposed to Pat Robertson. Yes, it’s only five minutes, but it FEELS like an eternity.

Personally, I’m dubious about the whole life after death thing. But boy, it sure would be nice if such a thing existed, just so one could imagine Pat Robertson coming face to face with the Being whose words he’s claimed to represent all these years, just so that Being could say, “I swear to me, you’re SUCH an áššhølë.”

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From cloudeagle: Scattershot stuff:

* People tend to be much more forgiving when you ding their car, or transform it into a jagged, smoldering pile of scrap metal, if you’re 12 feet tall and green.

* With a hefty girder and the proper swing, you can grant a lucky soldier the enduring human dream of unassisted flight for 350 yards or so.

* A really big guy CAN run up the side of a building, but building manager will need the phone number of a trusty construction contractor handy for afterwards.

* Though throwing a boulder at a tank yields good results, throwing a cow at a tank doesn’t really do anything. (Note to self: try throwing the cow at a helicopter. Aim for the blades.)

* You know the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants? Who have heartwarming tales while sharing a pair of pants that makes the wearer’s butt look great no matter their body type? I think the Hulk’s a member of that. Because no matter what he or his alter ego Bruce Banner does — cause a smallish skyscraper to collapse around him, get hit by a rocket, gain 800 pounds in 10 seconds — his pants always look great. I wonder what heartwarming tales the Hulk could share?

Kudos to the Academy for selecting Jon Stewart to head up this year’s Oscars. I will go out on a limb and say that, far more than Letterman (whose Uma/Oprah thing was reviled mostly because people didn’t realize he was riffing an absolutely classic “New Yorker” essay called “Yma Dream”), Stewart is the late-night host who combines a sense of comedy and gravitas better than anyone since Johnny Carson. What a challenge. But I’m sure he’ll be up to it.

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I’ve been speaking with Chris Ryall (who, by the way, just became a dad to a brand new daughter, Lucy, so congrats there) and IDW is so pleased with the numbers on “Fallen Angel” (not to mention the critical reception) that the series will definitely continue past issue #5 on a monthly basis. So huzzahs all around.

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“Fallen Angel #1” was the subject of multiple reviews over on silverbulletcomicbooks.com. Overall, extremely positive. Check it out.

PAD