State of the Union 2006

Posted By: Peter DavidPosted On:

And here we go. We’re watching on NBC. Here is…Brian Williams.

9:01: Here come members of the Supreme Court. I think it’d be cooler if they all entered in one shoulder to shoulder line in slo-mo, like in “The Right Stuff.” Or “Monsters Inc.”

9:02: NBC commentators are talking about everything that’s wrong. I wonder if Fox is talking about everything that’s right.

9:03: Wow. Even Fox is talking about divisiveness. That can’t be good.

9:05: NBC speculates that Bush has changed the face of the SC for at least the next twenty years. Entirely possible, and too depressing to contemplate.

9:06: Bush is said to be in a small holding room. Makes him sound like a rodeo bull. I wonder if his testicles will be tied tightly to get a better show.

9:07: And now, in advance, the Democratic response: “Pbbbbbthhhh!”

9:08: The Sergeant at arms is “Bill Livingood.” Gotta love that name.

9:09: Caroline has offered her commentary in advance: The moment Bush was introduced, she farted and dropped a load in her diaper.

9:11: Four minutes of applause and counting.

9:11: And they applaud AGAIN? Just for being introduced? Bet the SC high-fived each other.

9:12: Okay, who had twenty-five words into the speech before he invoked King?

9:13: “Differences can’t harden into anger.” Sorry. That ship sailed in the year 2000.

9:15: Who had three minutes into the speech for 9/11?

9:16: Yes, Democracy has replaced terrorism with hope. In Israel, the hope is that the Democratically elected terrorists won’t destroy them.

9:17: Oh. Bin Laden is serious about mass murder. Funny. A few years ago, he said he wasn’t thinking about bin Laden much.

9:18: Terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror

9:19: Terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror terror

9:20 Yes. We liberated death camps…so we can open our own torture camps. It’s like Walmart liberating neighborhoods of mom and pop stores.

9:21: If he believes in freedom, in democracy, and in Iraq…why is he against the concept of Iraqis holding an election to determine whether we should leave or not?

9:22: We have a coalition? I thought we had our troops and three guys named Nigel.

9:23: Oh, NOW he’s going to listen to military commanders? The same ones who said that invading Iraq was a bad idea?

9:24: And here, before I could say that he was curtailing opinions he’d respond to to “Responsible opinion,” he goes and basically admits that anyone who doesn’t fit that–namely, those he doesn’t like–are being ignored.

9:25: “Second guessing isn’t a strategy.” Considering the lack of strategy going into Iraq in the first place…

9:27: All right. Who had eighteen minutes until he singled out one soldier and his family to hold up as a symbol of his wonderful war. The wife, trapped on camera, looked like an incredibly pìššëd øff deer in the headlights.

9:28: Welcome to the state of the terror address.

9:29: Accountable institutions? The head of a government that tries to block any bid at accountability is talking about being held accountable?

9:30: Oh…my God…he’s talking about attacking Iran.

9:31: No one is talking about isolationism. People are talking about freaking invading other countries.

9:32: By all means, let’s not shortchange the efforts of a compassionate America. We should…oops. More terrorism talk.

9:33: Does he understand it’s possible to support the military, law enforcement…and not the President?

9:34: AND NOW WE’VE GOT A GAME. Half of them sit while the other half stands in supporting the patriot act. “We didn’t know about their plans until it was too late.” This is the point where Jon Stewart would cut to a clip of Condi Rice saying, “I believe the title was ‘Bin laden intends to attack US”

9:35: Hillary is shaking her head thinking “You áššhølë.”

9:35: The Master of Accountability insists that he must have an eavesdropping program that doesn’t require accountability.

9:37: He has the gall to invoke FDR and JFK?

9:38: Whenever Bush speaks of “Natural disasters” I keep thinking I’m looking at the biggest one to hit the US in years.

9:39; No one is saying immigrants are bad for the economy. They’re saying illegal immigrants are bad for the economy.

9:39: He’s gonna try for more tax cuts.

9:40: There it is.

9:41: Symbolic, really. The Democrats are expressing distaste by sitting on their áššëš. When are they gonna realize they have to GET OFF THEIR ÃSSÊS TO MAKE THINGS BETTER?

9:42: Right, right. Line item veto. Notice the hypocrisy of the GOP applauding when they screamed over Clinton trying the same thing.

9:43: YES! YES! YES! THEY GOT OFF THEIR ÃSSÊS!

9:44: I have NEVER seen a president look THAT PÍSSÊÐ ØFF during the SOTU!

9:45: No one can outproduce the American worker. Except, y’know, maybe Japan.

9:45: And China. And Korea. And…

9:46: No you’re not meeting the responsibility of health care for the poor and elderly. You cut it.

9:47: Okay, that’s a good point. The medical liability thing is, if nothing else, driving OBGYNs out of the baby delivery business.

9:48: “Clean safe nuclear energy.” There’s a contradiction in terms.

9:49: I’m all for making dependence on ME oil a thing of the past. Certainly invading them to try and take it by force isn’t working.

9:51: A firm grounding in math and science? Here’s a fast way to start: Make it illegal for kids to have pocket calculators with them during math tests. What the hëll is up with that?

9:52: We don’t need more advanced math courses. We need more remedial courses. We’ve got a population that can’t do the most basic functions.

9:53: Yes, we’ve become a more hopeful nation: And yet, no matter how much we hope, Bush is still there.

9:54: BUSH is talking about personal responsbility? That’s like Hannibal Lecter talking about becoming a vegetarian.

9:55: The pessimists predicted Bush would be elected and re-elected. They were right about that.

9:58: I’m sorry. I don’t see where a guy who endorses torture, spying on citizens, capital punishment, and cutting off medical research that could cure Altzheimers gets to talk about being compassionate.

10:01: By all means, let’s do whatever we can to eliminate AIDS. So how’s that condom in schools program working out?

10:02: And now he obliquely compares himself to Lincoln and MLK. How does he find trousers that hang right with balls that big?

10:03: Interesting that of the four major political/historical figures he compared himself to, three of them were assassinated.

10:03: Fifty one minutes. Hunh. I have to think that Caroline’s commentary at the beginning was the most succinct.

283 comments on “State of the Union 2006”

  7. Has he had a full ovation yet, or just the Rebublicans????

    Wouldn;t it be cool if the Democrats just started booing??

    Oooh ohh, there’s his full ovation just now!

  10. Rich Drees: Who is the geek in the Dr Who scarf?

    I was wondering that myself. We can only hope Bush introduces him, so that he can get a thorough poking at on the Daily Show tonight.

  12. Hey, my fiance is trainig our dog (Thor) to bark at Alfred E Newman’s (oops, I mean Bush’s) voice.

  13. When did the Democrats (or any Americans for that matter) claim that we should be “Isolationist”?

  14. Compassion for a village with HIV? Well, so long as she isn’t a prostitue. Those sinners get what they deserve.

  18. Luigi: “I wanna know who in the audience is applauding to reaffirm the Patriot Act.”
    Looks like just the Repubs. I love the split shots with the Repubs going apeshit and the Dems sitting around looking bored.

    I’m finding the timing of his new counterterrorist act more than slightly suspicious, given the timing of Alito’s confirmation.

  19. Cindy Sheehan wasn’t arrested. She “allegedly” was trying to unfold a banner of some sorts and was “removed”. Kinda funny that the one person that would point to a MASSIVE failure by this administration was now no longer a part of the equation. After all, can’t have the media flashing her across the screen. Might take away from Shrub’s speech.

    This guy and his party make me sick.

  20. Mrs. Clinton has had plenty of practice perfeccting her “you are so full of !@#$%^&* #@$%^&*(” look, I’m happy that she now has a job where she can fully use it.

  21. Brian: “Cindy Sheehan wasn’t arrested.”
    Really? I thought I heard Brian Williams use the word ‘arrested.’ I probably misheard it. We shall see, I guess.

  26. Had to stop by…hey, some of you should just skip tot he Democrats “response” (I mean, it was posted at 6 PM…how do you respond to something before it’s even…oh, nevermind. This stuff is all theater for the rubes.)

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/31/AR2006013101246.html

    Out of curiosity–does the president hand out copies to his speech to the opposition so they can actually fashion a response or do they just guess what he will say?

    On the whole, I’d recommend you watch Korean horror movies next year.

  30. In a brief moment of insanity I saw the beginning of this on Fox news. Shep Smith was thrilled to report that she had been arrested but the reporter on the scene stated that she wasn’t arrested, only detained

    Still rather interesting that the Republican Party did not want her there and now she isn’t.

  32. Brak: “Nice to see the Dems going apeshit for a change…”

    ISn’t this the first time that they have shown Hilary smile! I almost stood up and cheered myself!

  33. Jesus, guys, you think maybe we can all stop with the pep rally clapping EVERY OTHER PHRASE so that maybe Bush can get through his speech? Even Bush is starting to look a little miffed at getting cut short every fourth word!

  34. 9:11: Four minutes of applause and counting.
    9:11: And they applaud AGAIN? Just for being introduced?

    According to Think Progress, “Without applause, practice runs have taken about 36 minutes.” requiring 24 minutes of applause to stretch it to the scheduled hour.

  35. Yes, pass the line item veto, so we can veto out all the crap in the Patriot Act.”

    I don’t think that that’s how the ‘line item veto’ works.

    Its there so that the President can veto just a part of a bill he doesn’t like, instead of the whole bill.

    PS, on something he jsut said: My fiance calls Shenanigans!! (no idea how to spell that)

  37. 9:42: Right, right. Line item veto. Notice the hypocrisy of the GOP applauding when they screamed over Clinton trying the same thing.

    Really? Wow, that really would have been hypocritical considering the Line Item Veto was one of the Contract With America planks. So, did they scream over it before or after they GAVE IT TO HIM in 1996?

    The problem wasn’t the GOP screaming, it was the Supreme Court declaring it unconstitutional. Not quite sure how W intends to get around that little hurdle.

  38. “Addicted to oil?” Hey, is he trying to introduce the flying car? …no, sounds like he’s talking up technology. Nice to hear somebody talk it, though I have doubts that it’ll get done.
    Now, how about slapping the Big Oil companies on the wrist so we can get gas prices back down, eh?

  39. Firm grounding in math and science? Is that why he’s cut research grants? And put limits on what they can use those grants for?

  40. I buy from Hess, personally. The 5% rebate card is better than nothing, and a lot of their oil comes from Venezuela.

  41. David, it would be interesting to see how the Court came down on the decision. Clearly the easiest way would be for a sitting President to stack the court with his own people. What’s that? Bush has done this? Great…

  44. I haven’t seen it, Jay, but I got the Reader’s Digest version. Oh, here comes the marriage debate…

  45. 9:43: YES! YES! YES! THEY GOT OFF THEIR ÃSSÊS!

    What? Where? What paragraph? Please?

    I’m needing blood pressure medicine just reading the text and these comments, I don’t dare listen to the parade of lies….

    I buy from Hess, personally.

    And according to BuyBlue.org, they donate 100% to the Carpeting Party, which I guess is better than donating like all the rest of the oil companies.

  47. Um, isn’t one of the arguments against gay marriage that it will unravel the American culture?

  49. Peter David: 9:48: “Clean safe nuclear energy.” There’s a contradiction in terms.
    Luigi Novi: I’m not sure I agree. I think the stigma associated with it is may be mostly a matter of scare-mongering.

    Peter David: 9:52: We don’t need more advanced math courses. We need more remedial courses. We’ve got a population that can’t do the most basic functions.
    Luigi Novi: What we need is to totally change the education system, because it’s not working as it should. It’s not just a matter of remedialism. We have to implement teaching methods that are successful, and the system should be privatized.

  50. Darrik, here’s a quote from the text as printed at ThinkProgress:

    Third: We need to encourage children to take more math and science, and make sure those courses are rigorous enough to compete with other nations. We have made a good start in the early grades with the No Child Left Behind Act, which is raising standards and lifting test scores across our country. Tonight I propose to train 70,000 high school teachers, to lead advanced-placement courses in math and science … bring 30,000 math and science professionals to teach in classrooms … and give early help to students who struggle with math, so they have a better chance at good, high-wage jobs. If we ensure that America’s children succeed in life, they will ensure that America succeeds in the world.

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