Letters, Cuz You Demanded it, and rude pros

August 9, 1991

Before we roll into the much promised and much delayed letters from readers, there are a couple of announcements on various topics:

First, I’ve just seen a screening of a movie I cannot recommend highly enough entitled Prisoners of the Sun. To quote from the press kit synopsis: “During World War II, Japan captured and occupied most of Southeast Asia. In 1942, on the little known island of Ambon, 650 miles north of Australia, 1100 Australian soldiers were captured by invading Japanese forces. They were imprisoned at Ambon’s Tan Tai POW camp. When the Japanese surrendered in 1945, Allied forced liberated Ambon and discovered fewer than three hundred POWs were left alive.” (Emphasis mine.) “Ninety-one Japanese officers and soldiers were subsequently charged with war crimes.”

The film stars Bryan (FX, FX2) Brown as the military trial lawyer assigned to the case. Two things made this film fascinating to me: First, the strength of the anti-war statement made as all the characters, both defendants and prosecutors, find how helpless they all are as they are caught up in the crush of events and their aftermath. War is supposedly something that displays strength, but instead Prisoners of the Sun portrays war for what it is–an event in which everyone: the soldiers, the warmakers, the civilians–everyone is helpless, and everyone is, in some way, shape or form, a victim.

The second thing is that the film co-stars George Takei, best known as Star Trek‘s Mr. Sulu. Hollywood casting directors always seem to feel that audiences aren’t interested in seeing Trek actors in anything other than Trek-related roles, despite the fact that fans are constantly searching out appearances of both Original Trek and Next Generation actors in other films.

Well, Trek fans will really enjoy this as Takei, in a total departure from the amiable helmsman, portrays the formidable Tan Tai camp commander, Baron Takahashi. As an aristocrat who archly testifies that he had no knowledge of what was going on under his own command, Takei is chilling and almost unrecognizable as he exudes arrogance from every pore. Although Takei is only in the first half of the film, his presence pervades the entire movie.

I can’t lie–this is not the feel-good movie of the summer. It is, however, thought-provoking, disturbing, and fascinating, with many images that you will carry with you long after you’ve left the theater. Highly recommended.

(Interestingly, there were rumbling among various Asian Americans in the screening I saw about negative portrayal of the Japanese–and yet the film has set all manner of box office records in Japan. I have no idea if it’s stirred controversy over there, but even if it has, it would appear that in Japan they don’t respond to controversy with boycotts. Good for them.)

Two other matters. First, on the stands there is presently a publication by Starlog celebrating the 25th anniversary of Star Trek. I was hired to write about a dozen episode summaries that were to read like mini-essays, complete with critiques and personal observations. Which is what I did. Except that all of those observations and personal spins were systematically removed by Paramount representatives before they saw print, resulting in a bunch of puerile essays with my name attached. (For that matter, most of the other writers had theirs gutted as well.) In a future column I will probably run my unexpurgated essays which I thought were kinda good.

Lastly–in response to several questions from readers as to what I’m going to say about His letter that led off “Oh So?” a couple of weeks ago, the answer is: Nothing. It’s just background noise. Who cares?

Moving on to letters from readers, I should say that I’m horrendously slow when it comes to answering correspondence, especially with the way I’ve been moving my office around. Things are somewhat settled now, though; also, CBG is now sending me my mail with greater frequency (it’s been three months since the last batch, but now it’s coming regularly) so I should be able to keep more current.

One of my most regular correspondents is the sturdy Noel Tominack in Indian Head, MD, who gives thoughtful comments on most of my columns and is probably wondering whether I’m actually seeing them (much as John Adams in “1776” asking musically, “Is anybody there?”) Unfortunately, Noel’s letters are usually too long for me to run (although I will be trying to do so more frequently now that we have a more regular letter flow) but in one letter Noel does pose an especially interesting question:

“How come some Marvel titles have the cover phrase Because You Demanded It! Who demanded what? How does mail demanding a certain situation become a story? Are demands real and really met? What if I demanded a team-up of the Hulk and Homey the Clown (‘I don’t think so.’ WHOOOM! ‘Hulk don’t play it!’) or Spider-Man getting a real job? How many people does it take to set a demand in motion? I’d really like to know so I can start making up my list of demands. In fact, Peter, I demand a column on demands!”

Noel also goes on to lament that the Top Ten silly team names didn’t include “Search & Destroy,” “M&Ms,” and “Fold, Spindle & Mutilate.”

So how many demanding letters does it take before it becomes “Because you demanded it?” Well, actually–few people know this, but at Marvel and DC Comics, there is a specific formula, based on mathematical progression, that combines alpha-numeric algorithms factoring in the sales of a specific book, the number of issues of a title sold for reading purposes vs. the number of issues of a title sold for bagging purposes, divided by pi rounded to the third digit, plus a percentage of Fabian Nicieza’s royalties on all the editions of X-Force #1 minus Todd McFarlane’s shoe size. All of which invariably equals 42, as I’m sure you guessed.

Actually, in Hulk, I generally see what the majority of the fans want and then do the opposite. When Marvel says “Because you demanded it,” it doesn’t necessarily mean you demanded that it should happen, now, does it.

(Frankly, I always liked the way Stan Lee handled it, when he would blurb a comic with “By Popular Demand” and then in smaller lettering would footnote, “Paul Popular, our mailroom clerk, demanded it.”)

All of the above fooling around aside, comic companies generally operate on two principles when it comes to hype. There are indeed certain stories or events that occur because fans have wanted to see it. For example, if there’s ever a story published saying “At last! Mystique and Nightcrawler, separated at birth! The full story, because you demanded it!”, you can bet your Marvel Zombie sticker that it’s been demanded and demanded and demanded.

On the other hand, there are certain stories or events that not too many people are that interested in. These, too, can get tagged with “Because you demanded it!”, presumably in hopes of appealing to fandom herd instinct. No one wants to be left out of the latest major event that is being published, and if the publisher states that readers have been clamoring to see it, then readers will (in theory) want to buy it because they figure everyone else is going to be in on it.

Sometimes it only takes one fan. I will never forget when I was doing a Q&A at a convention, and this eight-year-old kid raised his hand and said, “Hasbro makes GI Joe, which Marvel publishes, right? And Hasbro also makes Transformers, which Marvel publishes, right? So why doesn’t Marvel publish a Transformers meets GI Joe limited series?” Stunned by the simplicity of the idea, I went back to Marvel, stated a fan had suggested it, and lo and behold, months later, out came the GI Joe vs. The Transformers Limited series, which was very successful. Marvel made a pile of money, the kid got his comic, and I felt guilty because I always wish I’d gotten the kid’s name. He should have gotten royalties. Or, at the very least, a complete set of toys. Maybe his name was Hugh, so we could say, “Because Hugh demanded it.”

Marc Guggenheim in Port Washington, NY, who also worked for a summer at the Marvel offices, writes in regards to the famed “Toxic Waste” column, “The truth is, many times fans don’t realize that (pros’) behavior…might be the result of something other than rudeness. However, the other truth is that many pros are impolite. Working at Marvel (and I can only assume that this is equally true at DC) I saw that many professionals look contemptuously upon fans. They feel that comics “are just funnybooks, they shouldn’t be taken seriously” and therefore, the “nerdy/skinny/fat/geeky high-school/pre-pubescent wimps” who do take them seriously are idiots for doing so. They look down on the very people who are playing their salaries and paying them great compliments. Many fans remain unaware of this disdain until they meet up with a “rude” artist/writer, usually at a convention.

“Now I’m not naive enough to think that all comic book writers/artists/editors/etc. are saints. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that they’re just as human as the rest of us. They have good and bad days; some are “nice guys,” while some are @#$%heads [Marc’s euphamism, not mine]; and some have a genuine love of the industry and others simply want to make a living (which is perfectly okay.) Moreover, fans are just as human as the rest of us. True, some are geeky, nerdy, etc., and some are just as rude as they accuse the pros of being. While I know all of this I just think that it’s a slap in the face to the consumers (and that’s what these “fans” are) when pros appear at conventions (ostensibly to meet their fans) and then return the adoration they receive with an obnoxious and/or degrading remark. Call me idealistic, but I think fans and pros have an obligation as people to act politely to each other, and the sad truth is, most of the time, it just doesn’t happen.”

Yeah, well…screw you, punk.

Juuuusst kidding. Actually, you make some valid points, Marc. My “convention behavior” column was hardly intended as an apologia for all pros. Certainly there are some creeps in the industry, although one would assume that they would be creeps whether they were writers, artists, doctors, farmers or bricklayers. You can’t surgically excise someone’s personality from what they do. I had no intention of putting across that pros are never in the wrong, any more than I intended to imply that fans always are in the wrong. Just how, from my point of view, things can go awry and the best of intentions can be lost in the crush of emotions and events at a convention.

More letters, including strange dolls and true confessions, next time.
Peter David, writer of stuff, alerts you to yet another film: A renowned British linguistics expert is shot in the head, rendered helpless. But a flower girl takes him in, nurses him to health, and teaches him the joys of speaking with a thick cockney accent. Yes, Harrison Ford and Audrey Hepburn star in “Regarding Henry Higgins.” (Featuring the hit song, “The Ryne in Spyne Stys Mynly on the Plyne!”)