Peterdavid.net frequenter Tom Galloway is gonna be doing “Win Tom Galloway’s Money, modelled after Comedy Central’s Win Ben
Stein’s Money,” at the World Science Fiction Convention (Noreascon), on Thursday September 3rd at 10:00 p.m. Other board regular and second-coming of me, Keith DeCandido, is going to be the Jimmy Kimmel sidekick. Tom was looking for possible categories that would be punned riffs off some aspect of sf, fantasy, or comics, such as authors, artists, actors, characters, or editors in the fields, titles of books, movies, tv shows, comics, etc,or general concepts such as robots, spaceships, mythical creatures,etc.
Below are the categories I suggested. If you bright guys have any others, feel free to suggest them.
“The Thin Red Heinlein”
“Me Tarzan, You Jane Yolen”
“Are You Going to Yarbro Fair?”
“If You Bram ‘Er, I’ll Stoker.”
“Let Go of My Family Jules, Verne.”
“Thanks to the Drunken Moyle, Michael had no Moorcock.”
“Bend It Like Wertham.”
“I Get Knocked Up, But I Get ‘Dune’ Again.”
“The Last Unicorn Wanted a Lox and Beagle.”
“The Trouble With Trekkies.”
“Jude, Where’s My Car?” (obviously, for a Jude Law question about A.I. or Sky Captain)
“Joanna’s Russ to Judgment”
“The Jedi Knight Whipped Out His Saberhagen.”
“He Reached Into de Pocket, But Found Only de Lint.”
“At Long Last, C.J. Popped Her Cherryh.”
“Diane, Duane the Bathtub, I’m Dwoning.”
“Kneel, Gay Men.” (Say it aloud.)
“Bob Took Some Extra Strength Aspirin.”
“Rowling Isn’t Just a City in China.”
“Play That Funky Music, T.H. White Boy.”
“Dammit, Mamet” (which isn’t especially SF, but I just like it.)
“I Can’t See the Forrest for the Ackerman.”
“Perry Rhodes Scholar.”
“Bush Versus Gor”
“Fifty Ways to Love Your Leiber”
“You Go, Gernsback!” (Alternatively: Gernsback, and Garbo’s Got Him)
“It’s De-Lovely, It’s De-Lightful, It’s De-Laney”
“Tolkien ‘Bout My Generation”
“If You Don’t Know Phillip K. or Arthur C., then you don’t know Ðìçk, Clarke.”
“Lehrer of the White Worm” (if you can think of any Tom Lehrer-related SF questions)
“I Tried to Read S.P. Somtow, but I Had a Grand Mall Seizure.”
“H. Wanted to Rider, but She Looked Too Haggard.
“The Wonderful Wizard of an Australian Prison.”
“Richard Wagner Stopped Reading McIntyre, So Vonda No More.” (Remember to pronounce it “Vogner.”)
“A rabbi, a nun, and Christopher Priest Walked Into A Bar”
“Bradbury, R.F.D.”
“I Wouldn’t Touch Anderson With a Ten Foot Poul.”
“I Tried Reading Stanislaw, but Thought He was Kinda Lem.”
“And Here’s to you, Spider Robinson…”
“A Sequel Movie to “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?” No Moore! No Moore!”
“If Will Robinson Married Doctor Smith He’d Be Will Smith.”
“The score after eight innings: Stargate SG-1, Red Sox-0.”
PAD
• 
hmm..I do the beagle and lox joke often..what with having the beagle and being Jewish…
In unrelated news, but something I thought I thought PAD might be interested in:
from IMDB
Want To Write a Sequel to ‘Peter Pan’?
London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital, which is largely supported by revenue from its ownership rights to J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, has begun a search for a writer who can come up with a sequel to the story before the copyright on the original runs out in 2007, Reuters reported Monday. The hospital said that it is looking for established authors willing to submit a synopsis and a sample chapter.
“Fallen Angels in the Outfield”
“Hulk Smashed! Spidey’s Just Blitzed.”
“You’ll Believe a Man Can Fly United.”
“Can You Kerry Me? I’m Bushed.”
“If I May Be TV’s Frank…”
“Tellos More, Mister Dezago.”
“The JMS Pinafore”
And who could resist title for the last batch of questions…
“The Stan Lee Cup”
“That little Blish had no conscience”
“Brad, bury that wicked thing before someone comes”
“Lois Bujold was such a Vor”
I don’t got much else and those are pretty lame. Maybe I’ll think of some good ones later.
“She fainted at the sight of his Solomon Kane.”
“His Rod was solid Sterling silver.” (any twilight zone questions)
“She had no idea how Robert accessed her private Chambers.”
“She felt that Mervyn had hit his sexual Peake.”
I’ll probably come up with something else here in a bit.
Travis
His Rod was solid Sterling silver.” (any twilight zone questions)
And of course, that should be Serling not Sterling.
duhhh
Travis
Okay, here goes…
“How Green was my Ring”
“Caution: Falling Angels” (good for either “Fallen Angel” or “Supergirl”)
“Is That A Whip In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?”
“I Am Vengeance I Am the Night. Now who is this Batman guy?” (“Spawn.”)
“Space: The Final Clearance Sale.” (Final episodes of Trek, B5, etc.)
Okay, time for me to take a little lie down.
“The Al-time Bester of Science Fiction.”
Hey, one lame suggestion is a good day for me.
“Crossing Robert Jordan”
“Stake Dinners (or, Vampire Slaying 101)”
“Shatner in the Sky With Diamonds”
“The (Bill) Mumy Returns”
“….Two Turtledoves, and a Six-Volume Trilogy”
“Remember the Alaimo!” (Mark Alaimo, that is)
“Starships and Muppets and Sex, Oh My!”
(could be either FARSCAPE or Gates McFadden…)
“Sometimes, Greg Bear Bites You”
You could always have a list of various Trek women and ask “Kirk or Riker”?
The possibilities are endless.
JSM
Two more:
“If your discworld is flat, Prachett”
“My Lovecraft is full of eels”
JSM
These are good… Or bad as the case may be.
I’m sure I’ll come up with more shortly, but this is a start…
Inspired by John C. Bunnell’s comment, Brin and Bear it?
I
How about:
“Bill and Peter Were A Couple Of Real Space Cases.”
“When He Told Me The Robot Joke, I Laughed My Asimov”
“So, Luthor, What Are We Going To Do Tonight?” (Injustice Gang/Legion of Doom questions)
“Famous Comebacks Not Involving Jean Grey”
“Screw Your Riding Lawnmower; *I’ve* Got A Snapper Carr!”
“May The Schwartz Be With You” (topic obvious)
“Todd Wanted To Be More Famous, So He Hired An Image Consultant”
“Dead Hens Tell No DuckTales” (Carl Barks, maybe?)
“Sometimes A Shi’ar Is Just A Shi’ar”
“Oh Yeah? Well You Got Aliens In My Predator!”
“The bathroom is on fire!! Will the John Byrne?”
“He Was Force-Choking, So I Performed The Hamill-Lich Maneuver”
I saw a lot of Ms. Carpenter’s Charisma in Playboy
I had a Nightmare, and woke up Craven a sandwhich (more horror than Sci-Fi, but there you go)
We Help the Helpless, and Our Rats are Low
I Have No Mouth, But I Must Scream “Worst Category Ever!”
“‘Lehrer of the White Worm’ (if you can think of any Tom Lehrer-related SF questions)”
In Tom Lehrer’s famed World War III song, “So Long Mom”, what was the estimated length of the war?
“I Went Looking For A Window, But All I Found Was Mordor.”
TWL
He’s not dead. He’s pining for Benford.
(Questions about Greg Benford)
The Phantom Dennis The Menace
(Answers will have “Dennis” in them)
Seven Jedis for Seven Brothers
(Questions about Jedis or Brothers)
Babylon Jive
(Music in SF)
The Wrath of Cons
(Questions about conventions)
Tin Men In Black
(Questions about robots)
Aria 51
(singing in SF)
I Have No Mouth Jedi Must Scream
(Star Wars questions)
Kinfolk Said Jedi Move Away From There
(Questions about Star Wars or California)
Silly Rabbit, Matrix for kids
I’d like to teach the world to sing the body electric.
(Questions about Ray Bradbury)
A Midsummer Dark Knight’s Dream
(Questions about comics)
On A Clear Day I Can C3P0 Forever
(Yet more Star Wars questions)
— Ken from Chicago
“Can You Kerry Me? I’m Bushed.”
This would make a great bumper sticker!
Is anyone else here going to be at WorldCon? I’m flying in from Pittsburgh Thursday morning…
You shall kneel before Grand Admiral Zahn!
Ingmar, I’m prospectin’ for Silverberg, man!
(Robert Silverberg and Ingmar Bergman… it’s FUNNY, it doesn’t have to make sense! Ah, just keep reading.)
Wachowski for Larry, dude’s a lady!
(questions on transgendered persons in scifi)
The Cyber-Passion of Gibson
(William Gibson… but then again, with the cyber element, it very well could be about transgendered people heh)
Ira Behr and Wolfe, oh my!
(I know it’s been punned before… just suggesting it. Trek TV writer category?)
Reverse Paternity test proves: Harlan is Warren Ellis’s Son!
(angry scifi writer category heh)
Prowse is not a long-winded speaker, Marcel.
(mute actors and voiced-over actors like David Prowse/James Earl Jones, David Hyde Pierce in Hellboy etc)
Do not Dirk Gently into the end of the universe.
Williams, Holst Bach on the bass!
(symphonic scores in scifi)
Mr. Smith goes to Hollywood…snootch!
(fanboy favorite Kevin Smith questions)
The pictures Junior drew are struzan allover the place!
(famed LucasFilms favorite poster artist Drew Struzan Jr. questions)
Halle, Halle, the gang’s all here. I’m Fammke-ished, let’s eat!
(comic book movie actresses)
High Noonien Sun, perfect time for suntanning my pecs!
Bela! Don’t go and drive the Karloff the lot!
It’ll be a Cole day in hëll before I sign on for another scifi/fantasy series, mkay?
(Gary Cole questions- star of Crusade and American Gothic, as well as Office Space.)
Go West, Young Ward!
(na na na na naaa questions!)
David Duchovny out of another season, God-Doggett!
I kissed a Prinze and he turned out to be a fanboy.
(celebrities that have geek skeletons in their closet, such as Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Vin Diesel etc.)
The Boogie Woogie Cthulu-boy of Company B
He wrote like a Damon at Knight, while James got Blished at the bar.
(sf magazine writers questions)
For the record, PAD, as if we needed any more proof that you’re nuts, that does it.
That goes to the rest of you, too, don’t think you’ve escaped condemnation.
That said, here are my first few contributions.
The Star Wars Story Go-Zahn (Since Tim Zahn practically singlehandedly reinvented Star Wars fandom…)
Voyagers or Analog? Oh, hëll, take Bova them
Reload those May Tricks, but stay away from November (Matrix Reloaded was released in May, Revolutions in November)
George Martin conducts Robert Van Winkle and Jimi Hendrix (This is pretty complicated: Martin’s big fantasy series is “A Song Of Ice And Fire,” Robert Van Winkle is Vanilla Ice and therefore has “Ice Ice Baby,” and Jimi Hendrix performed “Fire”…)
Ne(i/a)l (Questions about either Gaiman or Stephenson)
I’m the King of the Alter-World! (Stephen King’s “Dark Tower” series)
Fnord (You are not cleared for access to this category.)
For the record, PAD, as if we needed any more proof that you’re nuts, that does it.
That goes to the rest of you, too, don’t think you’ve escaped condemnation.
That said, here are my first few contributions.
The Star Wars Story Go-Zahn (Since Tim Zahn practically singlehandedly reinvented Star Wars fandom…)
Voyagers or Analog? Oh, hëll, take Bova them
Reload those May Tricks, but stay away from November (Matrix Reloaded was released in May, Revolutions in November)
George Martin conducts Robert Van Winkle and Jimi Hendrix (This is pretty complicated: Martin’s big fantasy series is “A Song Of Ice And Fire,” Robert Van Winkle is Vanilla Ice and therefore has “Ice Ice Baby,” and Jimi Hendrix performed “Fire”…)
Ne(i/a)l (Questions about either Gaiman or Stephenson)
I’m the King of the Alter-World! (Stephen King’s “Dark Tower” series)
Fnord (You are not cleared for access to this category.)
Jonathan (the other one): In Tom Lehrer’s famed World War III song, “So Long Mom”, what was the estimated length of the war?
“I’ll be right back when the war is over, an hour and a half from now-ow-oww!”
“Haulin’ Ellison”…..(Harlan E.)
“EC does it”…..(EC Comics)
(see also “It’s so EC”, “It don’t come EC”, “I’m EC”, “EC Livin'” et al)
“Pete or David?”…..(our gracious host)
“He’s a crumb but he’s ouR Crumb”…..(creator of Zap comix)
“Give that man a Segar (Elzie does it)”…..(creator of Popeye)
“All this and Moore”…..(Alan, that is)
“Lo-Kal”…..(Superman/Kal-El)
“The Kubrick of Comics”…..(Stan Lee)
“The Spirit is Will-ing”…..(Will Eisner)
(Before PAD gets irked over my having a bit of
jollity devising a lame pun involving his name,
(One he no doubt tired of on the playground),
I’d like to point out the excellent company I’ve
included him among.)
Take Two Asprins and Call Me In The Morning
(questions about Robert Asprin’s MYTH world series)
“Fire at Will Riker”
“Avengers Assembly Required”
“It’s not an Obsession, it’s just a Hobbit”
“Elektra Glides in Black”
“Can You Kerry Me? I’m Bushed.”
Help is on the way, but first these tax increases…
And a few more:
Frakes and Geeks
You Don’t Know Bruce
(many possibilities, but possibly funniest as a Bruce Campbell category)
Lucy on the Set With Chakrams
(Xena questions, obviously)
Wild Wild (Adam) West
Use the Shwartz, Susan
Play Misty Lackey For Me
The Flying Fickle Finger of Feist
(i.e. Raymond Feist)
* “Don’t get Gary drunk. That Guy Gacks.” (D and D questions)
* “Sir, you mean Space Corps Directive…” (Red Dwarf question)
Here are a few catagory titles we’ve used in the past at the Trivia contests at NecronomiCon. (shameless plug: Peter David GoH 2005!)
Who murdered the author? Octavia’s butler did it!
Turn of a friendly Orson Scott Card
We irradiated the band to see if they might be giants
The German zookeeper invited me to her Harryhausen
Brin & Garrett
LeGuin and Bear It
His joke went over like a Led Zeppelin
Hogan’s Heroes (James P. Hogan)
Who is the Doctor on First Base?
Good luck!
Mark Jones
Heh. Thanks for the positive comments about my “Kerry me” line….
Babylon 5, Star Trek X
The Star Spangled Bruce Banner
Journalism studies at Clark Kent State
Hi-fi Sci-fi
Billy Batson’s 3-ringed Otto Binder
Tony Stark Raving Mad
Cursing like a Red Skull Minion
T’challa’s all, folks!
Ayn Rand around Steve’s Ditko
Peaches and Herb and Jumbo Trimpe
Marie Severin’s pay
Tony Isabella of the ball
Anthony, Piers to see her under Xanth
Bakula to the Future
She won’t ask you, Zelazny
This one isn’t original to me, but…
“The penitent man kneels before Zod” (Indiana Jones or Superman questions)
Digression but very cool: I just read off THE ONION AV CLUB that Arthur C. Clarke, when asked what advice he would give to the children of the world, he said “I don’t know that I have a message just for the children, but for the world as a whole: ‘Don’t panic.’ That’s always a good idea.”
Spoken like a fan of that infamous guidebook to the galaxy, hmm?
“I’m Esther Friesnering my butt off”
“Ðámņëd if you do, dámņëd if you Dunsany”
“Middle Earth provinces not covered by National Geographic”
“”Every Took’s crazy for a sharp-dressed Sam”
“Holt in the name of the law!”
“Spring is Brusting out all over”
“I’m not Tolkien about that”
“I have 1 HP left and I’m Lovecrafting it”
“Do not ask for who the Campbell tolls”
“Prattfalls at de Campouts”
“Lieber my Fritz” (OK, it just sounds silly that way)
“What I learned at the Alan Dean Foster home”
“I call shotgun in the van Vogt”
“Watch your mouth or I’ll kick your Asimov”
“He’s Callahandy to have around”
“Piper down in there!”
“Now we’re Baened from Argo, every one” (I’m a filker, I can’t help it)
“When Life hands you Stanislaw, make Lem-onade”
Well, that’s the best I can do in only half an hour. I do *not* want to miss this event!
Mork Calling Orson Scott Card
Take a Long Walk Off a Short Piers Anthony
A few ideas. More to come as they occur.
“If you kicked Tom Cruise in the guliver, you’d hear a Starscream.” (Transformers)
“When Mojo Jojo became obsessed with keeping his hands clean, he changed his name to Mojo Gojo.” (PPG)
“After Cheetara was caught in a compromising position, she became known as the ThunderCat’s ‘Ho.” (ThunderCats)
“After dawdling with some nymphs, Jason came down with a severe case of harpies.” (Jason and the Argonauts)
“How Soylent Green was my Valley?” (Soylent Green)
“Sigh, Clops” (mythology or Scott Summers)
“It’s Rahneing Men, Hallelujah!” (Wolfsbane)
[sung to the tune of “The Love Boat”] “The Love Craft! / Soon You’ll be On the Run!” (HP Lovecraft)
“When the driver cut Ursula off, she raised the middle finger of her Left Hand of Darkness.” (Ursula LeGuin)
[in best TAXI DRIVER imitation] “Are you Tolkien to me? Are you Tolkien to me?” (Tolkien)
“Beowatch” (Beowulf)
“Strike up the Bard!” (Shakespeare in SF)
“The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and misquotes of Harlan Ellison.” (Ellison)
“Fi – Fie – F.O.E. – Fum” (Ellison)
“When Snake-Eyes traded in his cammies for motley, he became known as the G.I. Joker.” (GI Joe)
“Neil before Zod!” (Neil Gaiman)
“After twidling the Ring too long, Frodo became Sauron.” (LoTR)
“Did you hear about the sickly, shrivelled rabbi who wanted to save his people? He could only cough out ‘Golem, Golem.’.” (The Golem or Gollum)
“Han got lucky with the princess and got Leia’d.” (Star Wars)
“Apollo, Athena, Starbuck and other G(r)eek Gods” (Battlestar Galactica)
“Other Uses for Gerbils” (V: the Visitors)
“She’s my lover! She’s my sister! She’s my lover and she’s my sister!” (incestuous relationships in SF/fantasy)
“Elric Presley” (Elric/Moorecock)
Will Rocky and Bullwinkle escape the malefic clutches of the dastardly duo? Tune in next week for:
“Ain’t no woman like the One-eyed Gott”
or
“Carrion, my wayward son”
Who was that Doctor Who invented ways to save Time? (Dr. Who)
“Like glass in the fireplace… so are the Days of Callahan’s Place” (Spider Robinson’s famous bar)
OR
“If you want to play at Lady Sally’s Place, it’s a policy of Time Travelers Strictly Cash”
Of course you realize someone will have to update this, or PAD will have to up date his BLOG to let us know what catagories were used.
Oh, I’ll send Peter a report after it’s done…along with the categories I came up with last time I did this (which I didn’t want to post so as not to influence or limit responses). Probably won’t be until after Labor Day though; WTGM is on night one of Worldcon, and I expect to be a bit busy for the next five days or so after that. 🙂
“When He Told Me The Robot Joke, I Laughed My Asimov”
After this one, there is no need for anything else…
This occurred last night. It went very well, and Tom won both games, mainly because he guessed right on more of the nast last-round questions I threw at people.
Here are the categories from this topic that we used (some of which were altered slightly from what was posted here):
Hulk Smashed! Spidey Just Blitzed
Okay, here are all the categories we used:
I, ROBOT, YOU JANE
THE POWER OF POSITRONIC THINKING
WHAT DO I KAREL?
R.U.R. OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN A ROBOT?
MY FAVORITE MARTIAN CHRONICLES
TO THINK I SAW IT ON BRADBURY ST.
IF YOU DON’T KNOW PHILIP K. OR ARTHUR C., THEN YOU DON’T KNOW ÐÍÇK, CLARKE
JANE SEE TARZAN. TARZAN SEE ARTHUR. ARTHUR C. CLARKE
GO WEST, YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
MOSTLY DOUGLAS
A RAGE IN HARLAN
I’M A GAIMAN FAN, NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT
DID BUFFY PUNCH THE SPIKE AGAIN?
WHEDON NEED NO STINKIN’ BADGES
POINT OF NO WHEATON
COME BACK TO THE FIVE & DIME, JIMMY DOOHAN, JIMMY DOOHAN
IVANOVA HAD A PERMANENT CASE OF JMS
J.M.S. PINAFORE
KINFOLK SAID JEDI MOVE AWAY FROM THERE
HOME OF THE BRAVE, LAND OF THE FRIESNER
THE STAN LEE CUP
HULK SMASHED! SPIDEY JUST BLITZED
KIRBY YOUR ENTHUSIASM
YOU WOULDN’T LIKE HIM WHEN HE’S ANG LEE
AVENGERS ASSEMBLY REQUIRED
MRS. VAN DYNE, WE’RE NEEDED
MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU
BEND IT LIKE WERTHAM
YOU DON’T KNOW JACK WILLIAMSON
WILD CARDS, STARRING WINK G.R.R. MARTINDALE
THE AMAZING SPIDER ROBINSON
LOIS BUJOLD WAS SUCH A VOR
THE THIN RED HEINLEIN
THERE’S A HEINLEIN BETWEEN MADNESS & GENIUS
TAKE A LONG WALK OFF A SHORT PIERS ANTHONY
HI YO, SILVERBERG! AWAY!
OMNI OR ANALOG? HECK, TAKE BOVA THEM!
BAKULA TO THE FUTURE
SPRING IS BRUSTING OUT ALL OVER
I CALL SHOTGUN IN THE VAN VOGT
DUDLEY, TIME TO SAVE POURNELLE FROM SNIDELY AGAIN
SPICE, SPICE, BABY
I TRIED READING STANISLAW, BUT THOUGHT HE WAS KINDA LEM
I WATCHED CHEERS TO SEE IF TED WOULD MARY SHELLEY
HE’S NOT DEAD, HE’S PINING FOR BENFORD
ARIA 51
TIPTREE THROUGH THE TULIPS
BLISH SPLASH, I WAS TAKIN’ A BATH
THE ROCKY & BULLWINKLE HORROR PICTURE SHOW
SOMETHING WICCAN THIS WAY COMES
WHERE THERE’S A WILLIS, THERE’S A WAY
WWF SIMAKDOWN
ME TARZAN, YOU JANE YOLEN
ARE YOU GOING TO YARBRO FAIR?
THE TROUBLE WITH TREKKIES
JUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR?
JOANNA’S RUSS TO JUDGMENT
THE JEDI KNIGHT WHIPPED OUT HIS LIGHT SABERHAGEN
HE REACHED INTO DE POCKET, BUT FOUND ONLY DE LINT
IT’S DE-LOVELY, IT’S DE-LIGHTFUL, IT’S DELANEY
A RABBI, A NUN, AND CHRISTOPHER PRIEST WALKED INTO A BAR
HE’S NOT A PERVERT, DESPITE HIS POURNELLE COLLECTION
HUNGRY LIKE GENE WOLFE
GENE WOLFE IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING
TURN OF A FRIENDLY ORSON SCOTT CARD
“ARE YOU TOLKIEN TO ME? ARE YOU TOLKIEN TO ME?”
BEOWATCH
MY LOVECRAFT IS FULL OF EELS
FIFTY WAYS TO LOVE YOUR LIEBER
PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC, T.H. WHITE BOY
THE MUMY RETURNS
JOHN SHIRLEY, YOU JEST
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA MI