Month: January 2003

Boy, you guys really want your Buffy discussions, don’t you. Okay, fine.

Well, I liked this episode a heck of a lot. I’ve been seeing fan criticisms of it and I don’t agree with a whole lot of them.

Criticism #1–The Wannaslays are annoying and the show’s starting to look like “Facts of Life.” Putting aside that Buffy could kick Mrs. Garrett’s ášš, let’s remember how fairly unpromising Buffy herself was when she first started up, both in the movie and in the flashback sequences shown in the series. She was as much an airhead or worse, and that was when she *already* had been activated. It’s not really fair to hold the Wannaslays up to the same standard that it’s taken Buffy seven years to achieve. Kendra was trained nearly from birth, and Faith hit the ground running, but one got the feeling she was probably able to slap people up oneside and down the other even before she go the power.

Criticism #2–Buffy should have been armed in the Thunderdome throw down with the Ubervamp. Possibly, but I can see her reasoning. One of Buffy’s strengths has always been her ability to improvise. The point she was trying to make to the girls was that, no matter what situation you’re in, if you rely on your innate abilities and think fast on your feet, you will win. If she’d gone in armed with sword and axe, the lesson would have been, “Be sure to be heavily armed.” If the girls had taken that lesson to heart and then been in a situation where they’d been deprived of weaponry, they might well have frozen.

Once again Giles neither removes his coat nor touches anything. Yes, when he stood in the wind, the wind muffed his hair, but some allowances have to be made for the realities of filming. On a cold day, you’ll see mist coming out of Spike’s mouth if they’re outdoors, and since vampires don’t breathe, that shouldn’t be the case (and how DOES he blow out smoke, now that we’re thinking about it?) The point is, they’re still being coy, Giles might be dead, and this is the First. Scuttlebutt is that it’s a red herring. Possibly. But if it is, I stand by my assertion that some spectacularly bad writing was done in order to support the red herring (that Buffy and Co. didn’t hug Giles upon his return is just ridiculous. That the gentlemanly Englishman helped none of the girls with their bags is out of character. And his defeatist attitude was just disheartening.)

Criticism #3: If the First’s agents eliminated the Watcher’s Council through the expedient of blowing up their HQ, why the hëll doesn’t he eliminate the Slayers now that they’re mostly gathered in Buffy’s house? Well, several possibilities. First, they’re not ALL there. And second, he doesn’t want to kill them all. He has some other plan, some other use for them. Keep in mind, we’re only at the halfway point of the season, and in previous years at similar halfway points, we didn’t have a full grasp of what the Big Bad had up his sleeve. At this point in season 5, we didn’t know what Glory wanted. In season 4, Adam wasn’t built yet by now. In season 3, we didn’t know what the Ascension was and Faith hadn’t gone bad yet. And in season 2, Angel hadn’t lost his soul. So there’s still more developments to be seen, and the First may well have far more up his instangible sleeve than just killing all the Slayers.

So we’ll see. I think it’s pre-empted next week, though.

PAD

I posted the following on the DCU Supergirl board in regards to a review in “Ain’t It Cool News” which was, on the whole, quite positive, but mentioned the eternal “Peter riffs Joss Whedon” song fans always sing, particularly vis a vis the development of Linda and Kara at the high school. So I thought I’d post it here as well:

In regards to the “parallels,” one should keep in mind that when I developed the story, the sixth season of “Buffy” (you know, the one that openly and aggressively riffed “Dark Phoenix” because only Hollywood is original and the rest of us just swipe) hadn’t even ended yet. A glance at a calendar and an understanding of the roughly six month lead time of comics should tell you that. So obviously I had no clue that the new season would involve Buffy at Sunnydale High with Dawn.

Did I figure fans would draw parallels once I learned of it? Yes, because fans are always anxious to draw parallels, since they have no clue how ideas work. The truly sad thing is the lack of comprehension of something very obvious: I’m not ripping off Joss Whedon. I’m ripping off (if one must use that phrase) the introduction of Kara from fifty years ago. Although she was Superman’s cousin, the real dynamic was much more big brother/kid sister. So in bringing Kara back and substituting Linda for Superman, it is the most natural thing in the world for there to be a big/little sister relationship.

And the much discussed high school locker room scene (following the volleyball game) was obviously a tip of the hat to “Carrie” since the girls regarded Kara as a freak. Kara? Kara-ie? Get it? I mean, jeez, do I have to spell *everything* out?

Now…if Kara were actually a blob of energy, that would be something else. But it’s not. Furthermore, I can one hundred percent guarantee that issues #78 and #79 take the story off in *such* a bizarre direction that only the most tortured stretches could possibly find any “Buffy” parallels, and probably not even then.

PAD

At my martial arts class today, the teacher (Sifu) was teaching me a form called the “Small Wheel,” and in the course of doing so demonstrated a blocking technique which is called “Heaven and Earth.” One hand angled straight up, the other down, crossed at the wrist.

And I did the block and stared at it, and then said, “Wait a minute…isn’t this ‘King Kong Palm?’ Drew Barrymore used that…”

And he sighed and said, “Yeah. It’s King Kong Palm. When I was a student, we’d recognize things from ‘Enter the Dragon.’ ‘Hey, that’s from ‘Enter the Dragon!’ Bruce Lee!” So now what does everyone say? ‘Charlies Angels!'” He shook his head, looking a bit disappointed. Just not as cool somehow, I guess.

PAD

Back in days when I took creative writing classes, wherein we’d regularly have to write essays, every so often it was commonplace to come up dry. Some days ya just got nothin’. And on those days, there was always a temptation to write an essay about a blocked writer trying to write an essay.

Which is pretty much what “Adaptation” is, which I just saw today with my daughter, Shana.

It’s the most aggressively and unapologetically self-indulgent film I’ve seen since “Being John Malkovich,” which by no shock is by the same creative folks. The film wraps around back on itself as screenwriter Charlie Kaufman (the real screenwriter, but played by Nic Cage) has to do an adaptation of the real-life book “The Orchid Thief,” and his script winds up being about himself trying to do the adaptation which in turn becomes the movie which…

It was certainly a riveting two hours, but I’m almost afraid to think just how self-directed the next film these guys make will be.

PAD

Everytime I see that word, all I can hear is the exchange in “Mystery Men.” You know: “We’ve always been each other’s greatest nemesisi…nemesises…neme…” “Nemeses.”

So anyway, just came back from “ST:N.” Thing is, I keep hearing that folks went to see it with lots of expectations and came away disappointed. Consequently, I went into it with no expectations and lots of negative buzz in my ear, and came away pretty much satisfied by it. Yes, there were elements of “Wrath of Khan” in the second half. Then again, “WOK” was an open rehash of “Moby Ðìçk,” so I didn’t have much problem with that. And there was lots of stuff I did like, including Riker finally getting to kick some butt, the performances of Ron Perlman and Tom Hardy, and the way all the regulars fit into their Trek personas like comfortable shoes.

And I *thought* I spotted Wesley Crusher at screen left during the wedding toast.

Personally, the adventures of Riker and Troi on the Trident…I wouldn’t mind seeing that at all.

PAD

Hopefully my postings are remaining coherent. I’ve been working insane hours lately, and have more or less stopped sleeping. This is actually having a fairly positive effect on me: It means I’m up and around to take care of the baby down in my office so Kath can get some sleep (she’s so alert that if the baby so much as whimpers or cries for ten seconds, she wakes right up. At which point the baby drifts back off to sleep, leaving Kath’s slumber constantly interrupted.)

It also means that while working on the next Apropos novel, “Tong Lashing,” my mind becomes so demented that I actually come up with lines like this:

“We made our way much further north than even my peregrinations as the Peacelord had taken me. As a consequence, we were able to enter with impunity a particularly sizable port city, Port Debras, renowned for having the largest single dock in the entire land, known as the Grand Jetty.”

Two points for figuring this out without cracking a dictionary.

PAD

Number one: I was asked toward the end of the previous thread about a conversation I had with Bill Jemas a couple years ago about writing about Marvel in public.

Now I don’t ordinarily discuss private phone calls without the permission of the other party, but Joe is choosing to make it public, so…uncomfortably…okay.

I wrote a column that was, as I recall, a response to Bill’s initial “retailer IQ” comments. Bill called and we had a conversation that I would characterize as polite and even friendly (although lord knows how it would be described now.) Bill said that if I ever had any questions about things he’d said, I should feel free to call him and ask him to clarify it or discuss it further.

I told him that it was a very generous offer, but here was the problem: “But I Digress” isn’t a news column (for the most part). It’s an observational column that expresses opinions about things that are out there in the public forums. Yes, I could pick up the phone and say, “Bill, what the hëll did you mean by that.” But if I did that, then I’d be morally obligated to contact, say, Todd McFarlane, next time he said something stupid, and ask what the hëll *he* was talking about before I commented on it. Or what if Paul Levitz said something that was so dumb it prompted comment. Should I call Paul before ragging on DC? Bill laughed and said, “No! Absolutely not! Feel free to go after Paul whenever you want!” (Again, I emphasize this was SAID IN JEST, so it doesn’t turn into “Bill Jemas told Peter David to trash Paul Levitz whenever possible.”)

By contrast, I told him that if someone contacted me and said, “I heard Bill Jemas said such and such,” and I felt it was newsworthy, I would absolutely, one hundred percent call him and ask him what was up with it. And if that conversation convinced me it wasn’t newsworthy or dubious, I’d kill the story, because investigative journalism isn’t really BID’s thing. But public statements were fair game for public replies.

And he said he understood and was cool with that.

And I’ve stuck with that agreement and understanding.

So…that’s the first thing

Second thing: I’m starting to like Joe Q’s thinking. He put forward a fairly logical progression: If my contention is that Marvel is hiring Second Age, Inc., which in turn loans out my services, then the credit page on “Captain Marvel” can be changed to read “by Second Age, Inc.”

By all means.

I don’t *think* Marvel’s under any obligation to put my name anywhere on the book. Heck, before Stan Lee started slapping credits on the splash pages, most stories were fairly anonymous. (Indeed, if I’m recalling correctly, DC thought the practice so gauche that they did a parody version of Stan called “Stan Brag”…before they eventually started running credits themselves, of course.)

One would think Marvel would *want* my name on the book, for the purpose of selling copies. But if Marvel wants to substitute the credit line “by Second Age, Inc.,” by all means, if it’ll make ’em happy, feel free. Listing corporations as authors isn’t unusual. Heck, how many times do you see legal material at the end of a movie that says, “For purpose of copyright, XYZ Corporation is the author of this film.” My novels such as “Sir Apropos of Nothing” and “Knight Life” are copyright Second Age, Inc.

In fact…somehow it would be appropriate. My very first published work for Marvel was a one page Fumetti that appeared on the inside back cover of the Marvel Fumetti Book. I submitted the idea to the editors, and somehow my name got separated from the text (how, I’ve no clue.) So when editorial went around trying to find out who wrote it, it never occurred to them to check in the sales office, which is where I was working at the time. The result? My first published Marvel work ran with a question mark next to the “written by” credit. So if CM winds up being my last published work for them, which it indeed might, this would bring it full circle.

Hmm. Considering the number of people asking why I’m still working for Marvel, perhaps a return to the question mark would be in order.

PAD