LET ME HEAR YOUR BODY TALK

It occurred to me that if they ever ran plays as double-bills, the way they used to do with movies, they should do a double feature of “The Vágìņá Monologues” and “Puppetry of the Pëņìš.”

It then further occurred to me that, with genitalia pretty much covered (or uncovered) in the theatrical world, other organs should get equal time. Herewith a list of possible future plays:

“Venting My Spleen”

“Liver Spots”

“Brain Farts”

“A Detailed Appendix”

“Tongue Lashing”

“By the Short Hairs”

“Bowel Movements”

“My God, What an Úšhølë” (alternate

“Prostate of the Union”

“Throat Cultures”

“Bûŧŧ Mûņçhìņg”

“Elbow Grease” (that would be the 50s rock version)

Other suggestions are welcome, frighteningly enough.

PAD

17 comments on “LET ME HEAR YOUR BODY TALK

  1. “Oh, Liver!” (The Musical)

    “Spleeny Todd”

    “The Úš Menagerie”

    “The Shadow Nose”

    “Privates Live”

    “Sunday in the Park with Gorge”

    “The Plays of Esophogles”

    “Ack Bladder” (Adapted from the BBC)

  2. “Shinny Shinny Shake?”

    “Elbow Room”

    “PADdy Got Fingered”

    “Oh, Calcaneus”

    “Thumb’s Rush”

    “Melanoma” (“Where the cells grow so fast that it’s insane”)

    “Hedwig And The Angry Chin”

    “The Kidneys Are Alright”

    “Eye Claudius”

    “A Liver Twist”

    “(fecally fecally) Bang Bang”

    “Mouth Specific”

    “M. Butterflies In My Stomach”

    “Lats”

    “Phantom Of The Ovary”

    “Withnail and Eye”

    And finally, a “Hair” revival, of course…

  3. PAD, you disappoint me.

    You left out the classics!

    A poke in the eye

    Bending your ear

    (sequelae “box your ears” and “tweak your ears”)

    Pull my leg

    Funny bone

    50 lashes for your negligence. Leave the noodle dry!

  4. *in beavis voice* yah yah bûŧŧ mûņçhìņg yah yah eh eh

    You forgot :

    “Waiting for elbow”

    “Prostate-a-go-go”

    “Dead poets with goatees society”

  5. “Jacob’s Bladder”

    (Which was Peter’s idea when we were thinking about this the other day)

    Kath

  6. How about the James Bond classic, “Galdbladder”?

    Or you could do a big musical based on the old Reader’s Digest series, “I Am Joe’s __”. Give it a twist where his body is ailing in a losing battle…you can subtitle it “Les Miserables”. 🙂

    JSM

  7. Perhaps a new version of the classics:

    Loves Labia Lost

    Phantom of the Urethra

    Much Ado About Kidneys

    [Skinned] Cats!

    Jeckyl’s Hyde

    Tit-tanic (obviously a large show…)

    Beauty and the Breast

  8. “Pinch Me, Pancreas!”

    “Smokey Joe’s Emhazema”

    “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Foot Rot”

    “Nosespray”

    “Incontenance on the Roof”

    “Schlong-Loose” (Brought to you by Phizer, makers of Viagra)

    “The Madulas” (‘I wanna be a Madula, chilling at the base ‘a your brain…”

    “Copay” (From the makers of “Rent”)

    Yes, I know this is more of an insurance joke, but I work at a pharmacy, and had great, personal meaning.

  9. A few more Shakespeare “classics”…

    The Comedy of Ears

    The Merchant of Pëņìš

    Úš You Like It

    The Two Gentlemen of Vágìņá

    A Midsummer Night’s Spleen

    Julias CaesEAR

    HANDlet

    King Ear

    TOEthello

    Apologies to The Bard.

    Peace…

    Dan

  10. Suck my çøçk.. erhh, okay:

    Pëņìš Puppets cumming into Vágìņá’s speaking (monologue)

    Men of Pause (then what would women be?)

    ‘Menopause’, of course

    I am electric, vágìņá

    I am Joe’s freaking çøçk (today’s modern version), based on ‘I am Joe’s …’

    Bill Falpheeohsichzoby’s Underwear Realm

    Cool…

  11. I’ve managed to save up roughly $47363 in my bank account, but I’m not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

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