I was considering keeping a running blog of the proceedings, but to be honest, the past couple of years I’ve fallen asleep, so I didn’t want to start something I couldn’t finish.
I needn’t have worried. Granted, I haven’t seen a single one of the movies that are Oscar nominated (I’m sorry, I still can’t take “Brokeback Mountain” seriously ever since Eric Cartman dismissed all indy movies as being about “gay cowboys eating pudding”) but there was no way I was going to miss the ensembles (the women were VERY tastefully adorned for the most part, I thought), the odd moments (Jennifer Garner tripping, apparently thrown off balance by her brand new enlarged lactating breasts; Tom Hanks coming out and sure looking pìššëd øff about SOMEthing) and to see just how many categories Ariel got right in her guesses (impressively Ariel–who likewise hadn’t seen any of the films–nailed every single winner with the exception of best picture, which pretty much surprised everyone with the possible exception of Eric Cartman).
And then there was Jon Stewart. I can’t remember any time in the past where I’ve been actively pulling for an Oscar host to do well (as opposed to just hoping they won’t bore the crap out of me.) I was not disappointed. The Oscarcast has not had a host this urbane since Johnny Carson. Less smug than Steve Martin, less aggressively vaudeville than Billy Crystal, less dead than Bob Hope, Stewart became visibly more confident as the evening progressed. Best line was his comment to Steven Spielberg, director of “Schindler’s List” and “Munich”: “Speaking on behalf of Jews everywhere, I can’t WAIT to see what happens to us next.” Close second was his comment after yet another assortment of clips illustrating yet another arbitrarily selected theme: “Coming up next: Hollywood’s salute to montages.” Third was his wry observation: “For those of you at home keeping score, that’s Martin Scorsese, Zero Oscars; Three-6 Mafia, One.”
Also got a huge kick out of the Daily Show-esque attack-ad commercials that turned Academy Award lobbying into adverts evocative of such notorious election-smearing endeavors as the Swift Boat Veterans (improbably named British women claiming that Judy Dench was no Dame, with the commercial paid for by “The Committee of People who aren’t at all connected with Felicity Huffman.”)
I hate to admit I also miss the former Academy head, Jack Valenti, if for no other reason than that Robin Williams dubbed him Jack “Boom Boom” Valenti and the nickname actually stuck. You could hear the new guy sucking the energy out of the room.
Oh, and Jamie Foxx stated in the pre-show that he needs to get his bowling game in order. Jamie, if you’re reading this, both Ariel and I would be more than happy to give you pointers. Just drop me a line.
11:30. Jeez.
PAD
• 
Brokeback Avengers?
“I wish I knew how to quit you, Iron Man…”
Y’know, I’ve had a Brokeback Bizarro meme doing laps in my head for some time now:
“Me am wish me not know how Bizarro quit you!”
Aside from the happy happy, son inexplicably alive ending, I personally loved the new War of the Worlds. And I even have to wonder whether that ending was Spielberg’s idea or studio pressure. *shrug*
Also, I know I’ve probably had this conversation before, but even though it seems to be the trendy thing to rag on Tom Cruise, I enjoy the man’s work.
Sorry, had to work during the Oscars and have been too busy/uninterested to see any of the nominated flicks, so I had to pounce on a tangent. 😛
-Rex Hondo-
Jon Stewart bombed so hard that they passed on having him come back next year. It would be to costly to build the fallout shelters needed.
Says who? Is that official? (That would be a šhìŧŧÿ thing to do to a guy 2 days after the event).
Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is
DAVID CHAPPELLE!
Omigod. Cue the dialogue from the reporter who saw the Hidenberg crash.
If Ebert is wrong and they don’t go with Stewart…why has Leno never been asked? Maybe they’ll go with a team approach–someone like Robin Williams for the monolgue and Morgan Freeman for the main show to keep up the gravitas quotient.
Or just throw a monkey wrench into evrything and ask Letterman back. (Will. Never. Happen)
Or…Crispin Glover! Tom Cruise! (wouldn’t it be GREAT if he just went off the reservation and started abbling about Scientology?). Gary Busey!
Or seriously…Chris Walken. Highest ratings ever.
No Bill that isn’t true. I just dusted off my old “Serenity” joke. I have a bud who is a Whedon fan and I always teased him about the fact that Andromeda was on the air longer. When I heard that Serenity would get a movie I jokingly told him that Serenity would bomb so hard that the theatres would have to build fallout shelters in preperation for the movie.
I was just playing around but it pìššëd him off so much that I quit using it. But Stewart’s performance gave me the perfect chance to dust it off.
You joked with a Serenity fan? You’re a brave man.
What can I say, I like to live dangerously!
What, like ANYBODY who takes a TV show that seriously is actually dangerous? 😉
-Rex Hondo-
Bill Mulligan: ‘Or seriously…Chris Walken. Highest ratings ever.’
“So… wow! The Oscars. One time… one time I thought I was at the Oscars, but it turns out… I wasn’t. Don’t laugh… or I’ll f***in’ hurt you!“
I second the idea, though I’ve become really attached to the idea that Stewart should return for next year’s broadcast.
BrakYeller–LOL. That was funny. Staurday Night Live should do a skit on that premise, it’d fit right in (except for it being, as mentioned, funny).
Great idea, just what the Oscars need…. MORE COWBELL!
Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is DAVID CHAPPELLE!
But what would they do when he quits halfway through rehearsal?
I loved Stewart’s discussing the Oscars last night. Note the standing O the audience was giving him as he opened with the LA moment. But the best was his quite accurately saying that he either bombed or killed, depending upon who you believed. He described himself (I’m not getting the exact words right, but I’m close) as the “desperately unfunny heir to Johnny Carson.”
PAD
AH! The good old “You know I sucked and I know I sucked, but that is what makes it funny because I know I sucked and can joke about it.”
Aside from the happy happy, son inexplicably alive ending, I personally loved the new War of the Worlds. And I even have to wonder whether that ending was Spielberg’s idea or studio pressure. *shrug*
Also, I know I’ve probably had this conversation before, but even though it seems to be the trendy thing to rag on Tom Cruise, I enjoy the man’s work.
I totally agree. Or, as I said to one of my friends immediately upon exiting WOTW. “the Apocalypse is now upon us. Tom Cruise has made two awesome movies in a row; WOTW and Collateral.”
But that’s just one mans opinion.
Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is DAVID CHAPPELLE!
hmmm…him or…
wait for it..
RICK JAMES!!!
OK, I will go wait in the corner for the adults to stone me for that joke…
In all, I thought Stewart did a great job, especially for a first timer, and I do hope he gets invited back next year.
Bill beat me to mentioning it, but Ebert’s comments suggest that Jon will be back next year (and for a while after), which makes me very happy. I think those slaying him for being nervous for a while ought to try getting in front of that many people/peers and do a live monologue to the entire country, and see how well THEY handle it!
Thought it was by far the best Oscars in quite a while, save the annoying cutting the winners off thing – because we were in such a hurry to get to repeats of Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy???
I loved Stewart’s discussing the Oscars last night.
Me too – had me in stitches. I wonder how long he’ll be milking that particular joke? (For thosew that missed it, it should be up on Comedy Central by tomorrow.) Stephen Colbert’s gloating on Monday night was well worth it, as well.
coupla things:
Yes, Dave Chappelle *would* be genius. But if you thought Chris Rock was an awkward fit, wait till Chappelle is up there doing his Samuel L. Jackson impersonation. “THEY ATE ME! A %$#@in’ SHARK ATE ME! YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HÊLL!!!” (speaking of which, go see Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. Awesome movie.)
I really liked Stewart, but I’m a Daily Show / Half Baked fan to begin with. They keep hiring these outsiders to host the show – – which I think is great because its so full of so much dámņ pomp and circumstance that you *need* someone to let the air out of the balloon of the whole thing. Maybe Stewart took it a bit far, but, hey, good for him! When you have George Clooney up there saying how he’s proud that Hollywood is out of touch, you need to take the whole thing down a notch. My favourite line of his in the night was when he pointed to the Oscar statue and quipped, “Hey, do you think if he tore this down, democracy would flourish in Hollywood?” That and his comming back from break extoling the virtues of scientology was pretty boss.
Anyway, to those who are bit torrent / avi handicapable, I recommend snagging this: http://www.mininova.org/tor/244075 Its a 30 minute “highlight reel” of Stewart’s bits, and it has the opening, and Ben Stiller’s FX bit (“This is blowing Spielberg’s MIND!”) along with Will Farrell and Steve Carell for makeup. I really liked the videotaped opening, I thought it was very well done, loved the Steve Martin’s kids joke, got a huge laugh out of Mel Gibson on the set of Apocoalypto putting his hand ontop of his hat and running away from a panther in old timey “feets don’t fail me now!” manner, and any time you can get Mr. Movie Phone worked in somewhere is okay in my book.
as for the ceremony itself? Ðámņ Brokeback Moutain cost me 5 bucks cause I thought it was a shoe in. Star Wars wuz Robbed with no FX nomination / losing in the makeup category. I thought Muderball was a much better documentary than March of the Penguins (though the later was pretty good). “Its Hard Out Here For A Pimp” and 3 6 Mafia’s acceptance speech were the unintentionally hillarious highlights of the night. (Stewart: “I think it just got a little easier out here for a Pimp!”). Crash was a very good movie, maybe not specatular, but it was able to juggle multiple plotlines in a coherrent and interesting way (see Syriana for a similar style that falls flat on its face), but I thought Munich was a better movie because it worked in the affect violence has on people, while being a pretty kickass action thriller in its own way.
D’oh, and also, did anyone else find it really odd that they had a 2 entire semgents to disparaging DVDs? (the MPAA guy begging for theatre attendence, and the montage of “epicness”) Why in the bloody hëll would they feel the need to denounce one of their own revenue streams? Yes, 2005 Box Office was down %10 for 2004. But 2004 was one of the very best years on record, maybe that’s why. I think deep down, all of these Hollywood Fat Cats are scared of being reduced to home entertainment. It “demeans” them, somehow.
Poor Donnie Darko had to introduce the “epics” montage too. He should have come out with Frank, and just had him say, “Why are you wearing that stupid Rabbit suit”? That would have made it more interesting.
Poor Donnie Darko had to introduce the “epics” montage too.
And boy, did he look uncomfortable doing it. I’ve rarely seen him look that nervous. (Maybe he was down over not getting the Supporting Actor award.)
Oh, and for way uptopic — thanks for the clarification, Bill. Appreciated.
TWL
AH! The good old “You know I sucked and I know I sucked, but that is what makes it funny because I know I sucked and can joke about it.”
Actually, I think the gist of the joke was more like “Some folks say that I sucked and some folks say that I didn’t suck. What’re ya gonna do? Go figure.”
Well, we saw very little of the Oscars – every time we turned, we happened to catch an acting category – I/we saw Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, and Actor, just by chance – so I can’t say much about Stewart one way or the other, other than to say that it seems to have become the norm to say that the Oscar host, whoever it was, wasn’t very good. While each one has many supporters – I liked Dave Letterman, no matter how much he likes to insult his year hosting – every year now there’s an audible sound of dismissiveness, no matter who was the host.
And – Revenge of the Sith not even being NOMINATED is ridiculous! I also felt Serenity deserved a nomination, though I feared its low profile would hurt it (as appparently it did). But for Sith to not even have been nominated – there’s no validity to the category.
Oh, and I agree – less clips, more time for winners’ acceptances! If they’re so concerned about running long, cut the dead weight! Duh!
>Oh, and I agree – less clips, more time for winners’ acceptances! If they’re so concerned about running long, cut the dead weight!
And then there’s Joe Martin’s Mr. BØFFØ gag about “The longest acceptance speech award goes to …” with an award winner addressing a [literally] comatose audience as he wraps up “… and last, but certainly not least, I’d like to thank the guy who parked my car and without whom I’d still be circling the block.”
>But for Sith to not even have been nominated – there’s no validity to the category.
And people wonder why I don’t bother watching? I don’t know who comes up with the nominations, but they’re obviously on some serious drugs, at least part of the time.
And – Revenge of the Sith not even being NOMINATED is ridiculous!
It would help if you specified which category you meant here. 🙂
Assuming you mean FX, I’m inclined to agree with you — the visuals were certainly the best part of the film.
If you’re suggesting something in the more “major” categories (e.g. acting, screenplay, director, or picture), then allow me to respectfully disagree.
(Personally, I think a nomination for effects would have made more sense than one for makeup … but I’ve already ranted about that earlier in the thread.)
TWL
I think its a shame Sith didn’t get an FX nod, just because of the expansive nature of the worlds they created. Kong was an achievement, true, War of the Worlds FX had a “you are there” immediacy (helped alot by how Spielberg framed the shots low to the ground) which made the experience more intense. the odd one out was, truly, Chronicles of Narnia. How in the heck did Narnia break any new ground compared to the extend of FX work that was done in Sith.
Why? Well, because The Oscars *loves* costume / midevil dramas – even fantasy ala Narnia. Look at all the noms (and wins!) that Geisha rounded up. They just eat that stuff up. I think the FX should have been Sith / WoTW / Kong. Ðámņ shame it didn’t go down that way, and even a bigger shame that none of the prequels got any FX awards whatsoever. Bìŧçh all you want about the plots and actors, passing over the FX is a huge oversight.
But this is all assuming that the Oscars are ever right. Anyone want to remember Dances With Wolves winning over Goodfellas? Or the 9 billion other mistakes they’ve made over the years? Fuggetaboutit.
RE: Brokeback Avengers
I know it’s a couple days late, but it just popped into my head, shouldn’t the line be more along the lines of, “By Odin’s beard, I know not how to quit thee, Iron Man.”
-Rex Hondo-
Kelly sez: Thought it was by far the best Oscars in quite a while, save the annoying cutting the winners off thing – because we were in such a hurry to get to repeats of Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy???
Maybe on the West Coast, but folks in the Eastern and Central time zones need to get to bed as they have to work the next day. Remember, 9 p.m. California time is midnight on the east coast.
Remember, 9 p.m. California time is midnight on the east coast.
And this has ever stopped a sporting event from starting at 8pm on the East Coast?
I think its a shame Sith didn’t get an FX nod, just because of the expansive nature of the worlds they created.
Hey, if we’re complaining about nominations that weren’t made, how about something for Sin City? Visual effects? Cinematography? Makeup? Coulda/shoulda been a contender in any of them categories…
Yah, Sin City was totally robbed in all the techincal categories. So was Sith. But, just to get all conspiracy theory on y’all, both were made without the approval of the Directors Guild and outside of the Hollywood mainstream. So maybe there’s a No Nominations For Vendetta against both.
Still, picking Chronicles of Narnia for technical things about either Sin City or Sith blows me mind.
I just wanted to get something off my chest.
On MSNBC’s Hardball the day after the Academy Awards, Chris Mathews had Al Sharpton and some other idiot commenting about the best original song winner. (It’s Hard out there for a Pimp)
And Mathews, Sharpton and the other moron went on and on about how awful it was, and how embarrassing it was to nominate such a song and how it promoted negative stereotypes, (Which is not what the song was about) etc..
But it was clear they didn’t see the film the song was from, nor did they understand the context of the song. They came across like a bunch of no-nothing, blathering fools.
In my opinion, it was the best original song of the year. Three-Six Mafia earned it.
To me, the greatest thing about the song is it’s subject matter could be offensive to some people, and I thank god for that.
The day the “Political Correctness Army” takes over Hollywood stifles every last challenge to bland, mainstream dreck, it will be a very sad day.
But it was clear they didn’t see the film the song was from, nor did they understand the context of the song.
I’m sorry, but what possible context could you be referring to? One where pimping can be seen as a good and positive thing?
Maybe next year we can have a song from the Civil War called “It’s Hard Out Here For a Slave Owner”.
Or maybe a WWII film called “It’s Hard Out Here For a Nazi Executing Jews”.
This has nothing to do with political correctness. This is about the simple fact that I see no reason to celebrate this song any more than the examples I gave.
Sin City was never going to have a chance at a nomination…not after Rodriguez walked out on the DGA over the whole co-director thing.
Sin City was never going to have a chance at a nomination…not after Rodriguez walked out on the DGA over the whole co-director thing.
That would explain SITH’s snub too (Lucas having left the DGA as well).
“In my opinion, it was the best original song of the year.”
The really sad bit is that it was. This year’s choices were like being asked to choose whether you like having your hand chopped off better then having your foot chopped off. The best film songs of the last year didn’t get the nods that they deserved and the ones that did get the nod sucked. No real winners here.
“I’m sorry, but what possible context could you be referring to? One where pimping can be seen as a good and positive thing?”
The context of the movie, of course, which you obviously haven’t seen, thus proving Alex’s point. If you had, you wouldn’t be making the inane comment that it promotes pimping as a “good and positive thing.”
The context of the movie, of course, which you obviously haven’t seen, thus proving Alex’s point.
Why do I need the movie to understand the context of the song?
I’ve looked over the lyrics for the song, and that’s all anybody needs.
Imo, the context doesn’t matter anyways.
C’mon, Craig, I’m about as whitebread a honkie as you’re likely to meet this side of a bedsheet meeting, and even I know that “pimpin”, in modern urban parlance, has little, if anything, to do with prostitution. It’s a state of mind, in which value is measured in terms of the worldly goods one can accumulate and dislay on one’s person at any given time (not dissimilar to the noveau riche, except with even less taste). You know, kind of like how “thuggin” has less to do with actually being violent, than with displaying the proper macho attitude…
and even I know that “pimpin”, in modern urban parlance, has little, if anything, to do with prostitution.
Then you haven’t bothered to read the lyrics of the song.
Unless this really means something else…
“Wait I got a snow bunny, and a black girl too
You pay the right price and they’ll both do you”
Hmm. Let me think about this one.
Posted by Craig J. Ries
But it was clear they didn’t see the film the song was from, nor did they understand the context of the song.
I’m sorry, but what possible context could you be referring to? One where pimping can be seen as a good and positive thing?
Then you didn’t get the song at all. ‘Hustle & Flow is about a man who wants to escape his life as a ‘pimp’. He uses his life experiences to write the song. (A tried and true tradition of musical artists)
The song isn’t about promoting the pimp lifestyle at all.
This has nothing to do with political correctness. This is about the simple fact that I see no reason to celebrate this song any more than the examples I gave.
The people on Hardball I was commenting about didn’t present it that way at all. It was a pure political correctness lovefest.
That’s why I listen to Frank Black, since his lyrics make no dámņ sense at all or, better yet, early REM, where the lyrics could well be promoting the use of underage orphans for Tijuana donkey pørņ but how would you know?
And anyway, when the Academy votes for Best Costume, they don’t judge the costumes by watching models parade down a runway in them, entirely apart from how they are used in the movie. They watch them in the actual movie, because otherwise it would be pointless.
It’s the same with Best Song. They have to be judged in the context of the movie. Otherwise, it’s just the Grammys.
But that’s irrelevent, since the song itself doesn’t promote pimping. It’s just saying that it’s hard out here for a pimp, is all, using irony and a fair bit of self-pitying. It’s an angry and bitter song, and if you REALLY read the lyrics, you’d see that it’s crying out against pimping and prostitution.