At the suggestion of several folks on this blog, I sent the following to NPR as a submission for their commentaries:
“Oh, Da! It’s the moon!”
by Peter David
There are certain rides at Disney World where, if you don’t go on them while you’re there, you just don’t feel like you’ve actually visited the Magic Kindom (although your next month’s Amex bill will likely confirm that you did..) It’s different rides for different folks. In my case, it’s always been the Peter Pan ride…voyaging in a two-person pirate ship high over a scale model of night-time London and journeying into and through Neverland with its pirates, mermaids and Indians.
As it so happens, it was also the favorite ride of a woman named Carol Kalish. Carol was many things to me…my former boss. My mentor. My friend. And in a Peter Pan-ish way, she never truly grew up and grew old, because she died unexpectedly at the age of 38, fourteen years ago this September.
So I was very interested in how her namesake-my two and a half year old daughter, Caroline-would react on her first excursion on that same ride during a recent vacation.
As we stood in line, I pointed at the passing pirate ships and told Caroline we were going to fly. “Fly?” she said uncertainly. “Fly in ships?” She wasn’t sanguine about it at all. When we clambered into the vessel (my wife, Kathleen, and my older daughter, Ariel, having gone on ahead) Caroline clutched tightly and nervously to the lap bar that settled on us. Her eyes went wide as we moved forward, up, and then appeared to be hurtling into thin air (naturally she didn’t look up to see that we were being carried on an overhead track.)
“See, Caroline? We’re flying,” I told her, and pointed at the “night sky” over London. “See? There’s the stars. And there’s the city, way down there!”
“Stars,” she whispered in astonishment. And then, as we went higher, she suddenly pointed and gasped in delirious joy, “It’s the moon!”
Sure enough, just to our left was a large full moon. The silhouettes of Peter, Wendy et al were moving across it as it turned. I wrapped my arm around Caroline just to keep her anchored. And she stretched out her little fingers, desperate to touch the glowing lunar orb, not quite succeeding. Completely enthralled in Disney magic, she cried out, “Oh, Da! It’s the moon!”
She watched the rest of Neverland with amazement. And although there were any number of rides and character greetings she enjoyed, that was the one moment in the park where she was totally swept away by pure fantasy-made-real. For a few seconds, one little girl sailed through the stars in a pirate ship and came justthatclose to touching the moon.
If Carol was watching through her eyes, I think she liked what she saw.
The response I received?
Dear Commentator:
Thank you for your submission of a commentary to MORNING EDITION. Because of the number of unsolicited commentaries we receive, we find it is impossible to reply individually in a timely manner, and we apologize for the prepared response.
Unfortunately, we will not be able to use your commentary on Morning Edition, but we encourage you to read on anyway, in case you would like to try again.
This was followed by specifics for their guidelines, all of which my submission already met.
So for those of you who think that being a published writer guarantees no more form rejections…
PAD
• 
Another place to try is Marketplace. http://www.marketplace.org
I know it sounds odd, but I heard my college film teacher on there one evening talking about an island he had visited.
Maybe if they have a segment on Florida, or Disney, or thrill rides it would be a good segue.
-Joe
OH MY GOD!!!! I’m making it my personal mission in life to get them to use this story!!!
NPR’s and it’s listener’s loss.
I know what you really need are lots of useless suggestions from your well meaning fans that you, of course, never thought of on your own. So here is mine–Slate.com.
Or have someone at Paramount (with clout) mail it to someone at Disney (with clout) for inclusion in their annual report.
BTW–when you submitted it to NPR, did you enclose your resume and mention that you are the famous author Peter David as opposed to the other Peter David who delivers pizza to their offices weekly.
Ah, ’tis a pity. It was (and is) a good piece.
NPR’s loss, as Lee said.
TWL
A touching piece.. I forwarded it to my friends and family when I read it the first time. Definitely NPRs loss.
(This piece is so good, it even prompted me, an avowed lurker, to take the time to leave a comment.)
PAD, saying your a published writer is like saying George W. Bush is an elected official. While technically true, you have reached a point of success most published writers have not, and most likely, will never reach.
And now I will let you wallow in the horror of being compared to W. 🙂
PAD, saying your a published writer is like saying George W. Bush is an elected official.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the latest episode of … Similes From Hëll. 🙂
TWL
Having seen Caroline in action during Crescent City Con, it is most definitely a beautiful story.
Rejection letters never get any easier, do they? Although I suppose all those New York Times best-selling books, probably cushion the blow a bit, success being its own reward and all that.
Is it sad and wrong that knowing best-selling authors get rejection form letters…kind of comforts me?
This goes hand-in-hand with the popular anecdote about [fill in the name of the most recognizable celebrity you’ve ever heard of] coming in fourth in a [name of celebrity] look-a-like contest. It’s nice to know that even an author of several books that appeared on the New York Times Bestseller list can still get a rejection slip.
As was posted earlier, NPR and Disney’s loss.
Perhaps if you mentioned that you wrote the comic book edition of The Little Mermaid….nah! That would probably be negated by your brilliant Disney Heroine Panel parody that you wrote for the Comic Buyer’s Guide.
I enjoyed the essay and at least I got to know that the name of one of the most charming corporate executives I’ve had the pleasure of meeting has been immortalized by her talented friend and his lovely daughter.
So for those of you who think that being a published writer guarantees no more form rejections.
I don’t think getting a letter published in TV Guide counts.
(just kidding. Been a fan since your early Hulk days.)
On the plus side, it got me to go back and read your BID on Carol Kalish again. As usual, the Rhodan story slays me.
1st-PAD, I am a great fan of yours. As I sell off pieces of my comic book collection, I notice the majority of the books I am keeping have been written by you. 2nd-Should being a famous writer guarantee being published? What if Stephen King sent his latest story to Better Homes And Gardens? Should they publish it because of who he is?(well they probably would just for sales). 3rd-Once I sell my first story, should I expect everyone to buy anything else I summit? Bottom line: It is a great story that should be seen read by more people. Good Luck finding an outlet for it. As was mentioned before, I sent it to several of my friends, and everyone loved it.
Whether NPR wanted to use it or not, perhaps this will be some consolation:
The week before you posted this story the first time, I had found out that my first child is on the way (rather unexpectedly). Suffice it to say, I was still somewhat in shock, wondering how in the hëll *I* was going to handle being a father.
Then I read your post, and through the sense of wonder conveyed of a shared moment between father and daughter, I found myself actually looking forward to having this new little person in my life.
I plan on printing it out and keeping it as a reminder. NPR or not, you reached your audience.
-Rex Hondo-
Not to derail this thread, but I just read this:
It has been reported at the IMDB that Matthew McGrory has died, he was only 32 years old. The actor stood over 7 feet tall and has appeared in 10 films. The report states that his death was of natural causes.
Matthew got into acting in the early 90’s after appearing on the Howard Stern show. He has appeared in films such as The Dead Hate the Living (where I first saw him), Men in Black II, Big Fish, and both of Rob Zombie’s films: House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects.
He may not have been a star, per se, but you always knew when he was on camera. I wish all the best to his family and loved ones.
Rex, many congratulations, welcome to the club!
And now, just a question–people out there think that once success has been acheived, later failures lose their sting?
And I really have to get Brian and Stacie to Disney….it’s become in the words of Chris Knight, a MORAL IMPERATIVE!!
What you need to do is make a recording of it and submit it to This American Life.
Although I’m a regular NPR listener (it happens to be what my radio alarm clock AND car radio is tuned too), I do think they come off a bit self-important.
This just proves it.
I think the powers that be over there need too watch the SNL spoofs of their programs every now and then. Might knock them down a few much needed pegs. Probably not.
Schweddy Balls anyone?
Y’know, Peter, your mention of the “guidelines” that your piece already met reminded me of the ancedote Matt Stone and Trey Parker related when IIRC, submitting South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut to the MPAA. The MPAA requested thier usual hypocritcial, inconsistent, and illogical cuts, but what Parker and Stone did instead was to put in more outrageous material, to which the MPAA responded by saying something to the effect of, “Okay, now THAT’s more like it!” (Or did they simply submit the exact same cut?) So what I’m thinking is, just send them the same exact piece again, with a brief note telling them that you read their submission guidelines, and totally rewrote the piece to conform to them. Knowing how things work, who knows, they might just accept it!
Does Newsweek still have its “My Turn” column?
For what it’s worth, Peter, two weeks ago I went to East Chicago to take the tests and try out for “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” I had two tests, one of them for a special week of shows devoted to movie trivia. I did not pass that one, to my great surprise. I’m positive I only missed a couple of questions. I did, however, pass the test for the regular. But I didn’t pass the audition. Thursday I got a post card informing me that I had NOT been selected to be a potential contestant. I think the problem was that I not only didn’t sleep the night before, I was up at about 6 am to get in line for the test. (My normal work schedule is 2 pm to 10:30 pm, so 6 am is NOT my usual wake-up time.) So, I was hardly at my most enthusiastic when I did the audition. Oh well. Maybe next year.
To be honest, I can understand why it was rejected. It’s saccharine schmaltz, and in its present form, it’s not written at a professional level of quality. In particular, the penultimate sentence, the most important sentence of all, is extremely hackneyed. Sorry, Peter, but I know you can do a lot better than this.
I liked it. I was touched. I can see a two and a half year old girl saying these things.
NPR is worse off for it.
There are other public radio networks, though. Maybe one of them will air it.
We finally took our kids (Kyle is 8, Ryan is 6) for their first visit to Disneyland this past summer. I’d been wanting to go for a few years, mostly to see the park thru their eyes. To watch them experience the magic and their childhood joy.
On the second day of our visit we sat and watched the parade go by. At one point it stops for each float to put on a bit more of a show and directly in front of us was the Pinocchio float. The main piece was a tower from which hung three dancers (puppets) on stretchy strings, so they could bounce and flip and spin as the music swelled. Astonishing. And the kids where just drinking the whole parade-long specatacle in, open mouthed.
After the it was all over my wife and I looked down at Ryan. We were startled to see he was crying and we both knelt to ask him what was wrong. Had he gotten bumped by the crowd? Something scare him? A pause as he struggled to get control of himself and then, barely getting it out, “It’s just too much happiness.”
Ahh. Mission accomplished.-